Friday, December 28, 2007


I want to drink from this glass and not fall over....

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Missing Man Formation

For you, you poor wretched lost souls............


and then.........

(Choral Singing in the background=>) AH Haaah HA, Hah hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa BReeeaaaaaadddddah!

And the Lorde hath said unto you ,your breadlessness is forgiven by thy fellow man, yet in thine own soul it weighs like pumperknickel thrown forth from the great Satan himself... purge the demon, reach high for your salvation, and let the HEAVE be the path to a breader existance on His earth.

"Tremens factus sum ego, et timeo, dum discussio
venerit atque ventura ira."

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Work'in in 3-B

3-Beers and it looks good, eh! I should have cocktail hour prior to heading to work everyday..skip out for dinner, have a few more, and then come back to finish off the rest of a flask. It sure does make the evening fly by faster than festering sans the booze. Merry Xmas!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Todays Randomness

Todays Randomness is brought to you by a can opener that broke midway around the can: the word Chimp-o-riffic,(chimp-O-ri-fik) adj. used to describe any action that a human does that requires only the basic knowledge that a chimpanzee can make simple tools and apply them to a situation. ex. "I macgyvered this chimp-o-riffic can opener using a butter knife, empty oversized can, a rubberband and the basic principles of physics/leverage to open a slightly smaller can of soup today" and the number, fuck yeah simple tools I had Sooooop. (flailing my arms and banging my red shiny hockey helmet)

Add soup to a shredded pulled turkey sandwich with cranberry-apple-chutney-onaise, three cheeses and bacon on 12 grain and it's a Merry F-in Xmas to me here at work to say the least. It's toasted!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Mal-wart fortunes

Some people don't like Wal-Mart, some people think it should be run out of existance. I think of it in a different light. They provide jobs to people that would otherwise be left in the dark, they sell on the cheap, they always have stock, and where else are you going to see the real "winners" in society at 3am? Wally-world!

I also have applied to become part of the team which will be moving into the; yet to be constructed, Crystal Bridges Art Museum. They are looking for a "dynamic individual" (with my entire skill-set included). The thing that would make some people cringe at the opportunity of me getting a new job are the ones who hate Wally-World. The museum is slated to open in 2010, it'll have a gianormous collection of American art, provide traveling exhibition spaces, have a theatre and conference facilities, performing art spaces inside and out, a comprehensive sculpture garden, museum store, eatery, and bring big time art to rural North Western Ark.

The benefactors, purchasing some well known pieces from all over the country and the holders of the existing permanent collection are the Waltons (Walmart founders) The home base for wally-world is just down the road. Me.. I don't care. If I can buy socks, a TV and a 1lb bag of coffee and a fresh bagel all at the same place, and they indirectly give me a job opportunity, I'm in "I support wally-world"

Wally for president.

Most Impressive

I just returned from a great Holiday at the funnyfarm, the Xmas celebration and dinner were quite good. I got to stop in and play a little hide-and-seek with the Lil Mac, ate way too much food, ruined my sleeping habits/ eating schedule, got the frankensteiner back to functional, received a Shiiteton of Canvas and gesso type spoils with which to create unknown/neverseen/completely anonymous masterpieces that will never grace the walls of any gallery space and generally had a stellar weekend. (I also had the opp. to watch some television, that thing is like crack without the itching and random dealer hummers.) I'm just sayin' after three years of not having the cable it may be time to hop on the wagon and fry my brain again, gain some ass fat and eat mass quantities of chips and dip. I returned to the Oasis and had packages waiting at my door from SC, thank you!!!

There's just a few days remaining until the Big Bash...I'll be working right up until I leave after running the Show here at the Gaz on Friday eve/Sat morning, dependant on the the amount of time it takes to screw the pooch... I should be taking to the skies and bringing the Rolling Thunder to Vinnie's place ETA (between 5am and 7am) just in time to wake-n-beer the masses and peer pressure the monkeys into having Bloody Marys. "Bloody Buddy"

Friday, December 21, 2007

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment

The Spears clan are a bunch of whores. Although from the snipits of tabloid garbage I've been exposed to, I find it better that the younger of the two harlets actually still has a man with a real job. Now if; you're an underage young lady and, you decide to engage in the practice of pre-marital sex ( I guess when you marry your cousins at a young age down in the south it don't matter none) make sure that your choice in men comes from the employed variety even if you happen to be a celebritard.

The newest oops was helped along by a 19yr old.....

....wait for it, .......WAIT FOR IT!...... HE LAYS PIPE!!! NO Joke. ZIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiNG! "yup, heeeee's a, pipe-layer"

It's a Pipe Laying / Po-Po-Zow baby batter slingin' good time with the Spears ladies.

Shaggy Bob's Self Help hint of the Moment=> should you choose to hook up with any of the Spears spawn use a prophylactic. For you gentlemen out there that wear a red shiny hockey helmet a prophylactic is not a digestive issue with regard to milk and or milk by-product consumption. "It's a Condom", wrap your: Russell The One-Eyed Wonder Muscle, Gristle Missle, Pumping Pole of Penile Power, Thunder-Donkey, Harry & the Hendersons, Granite Edifice, One-Eyed Fred, Dip Stick, Piss Pump, Meat Wrench, Nightcrawler, Blue-veined Junket Pumper, Love Pump, Richard and the Twins, One Eyed Wonder Weasel, Ralph The Fur Faced Chicken, Tobias the Cheeky Monkey, Johnson, Trouser Snake, Tool, Thrill Drill, Sex Pistol, Pocket Rocket, One Hole Friction Whistle, The Pink Oboe, Purple-Helmeted Warrior, Purple-Helmeted Yogurt Thrower, Trouser Trout, Vlad The Impaler.

It's been a crazy week and my weekend is finally starting, give me a lil bit of a break for that post.

A new Flyer is on the horizon, keep your eyes glued to the screen......... back on Sunday

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Resume` of WTF

I took sometime today to look back at the career of the Shagzster to see just when and where I may have gone wrong with choices of employment and to chart the path of my career. It's sad and a little impressive to me.
so without further hesitation here is the most complete listing I can remember.

Nursing Home Kitchen Attendent
Lift rat
Parking Security Attendant
Phone room solicitor
Studio assistant
Beverage center /bottle counter/keg carrier
Scenic chairlift ride attendant
DPW lawnmower
Fraternity Cook
Band Roadie/ Photographer for the Knoa
Camp Councelor
Photography Head-specialist
Group Leader
Trek Leader
Wilderness Paramedic
Gallery Attendant
Slide Librarian
Guest Lodge Reservationist
University Musuem, Preparator/Registrar
Gallery Practices/Museum Studies Instructor
Exhibition Coordinator
Volunteer Coordinator
Interm Curator
Contractor Services Associate
Graphic Designer
Pre-Press Production Assistant
Photo Editor
All Around Swell Guy

Somewhere in there I managed to pick up degrees in Studio Art, Art History, Museum Studies, and Art Education.
I also got my Brigadier General collar Stars in Imbibination/Party Animal/Slime Ballery.

My dating list follows the same plan...with hitches up to and including 4-5yrs.

With my current situation I had hoped that ecclecticism wouldn't play a part, but the last five listings definitely prove me wrong. Here is how I percieve it as a hinderance.

A professional baseball team has players that they call "utility players" a guy that can cover any number of positions should the main guy (ex. First Baseman) get registered on the Damaged List. This utility player isn't gauranteed a starting spot, can't bat regularly in every game, and as a result not only does his batting average suffer, but he doesn't get the mega-millions a star player would receive. When it comes time to hop on the free agent list, said utility player doesn't command enough pull to warrant a much larger salary, he'll be traded to another team for a pittance doing what he's been labeled to be "a utility guy". Although I have an ever increasing bag of tricks, I haven't been able ot secure a spot as that First Baseman, I was there a couple of times, but then had more and more responsibilities lumped onto the existing position so that focusing my energy on one aspect became futile.

As far as getting back to the Museum Aspect of my career, being that Utility guy scares venues away from picking me up. I've intarveewed at no less than 70 Intitutions in the last 5yrs: most of those situations involved multiple visits, calls, and sitdowns, with a good few leaving me "the Utility player" that was second in line behind Mr/Mrs. 1ST Base. Given the fact that 8 different Museum Job websites are searching across the globe for me...doesn't mean that there are hundreds or even thousands of opportunities. Last count in the US alone there were 45 listings, subtract the number that require 5-7 plus years(exp) of focused job skills and the Executive Director listings and the remainder is 7. 4 of those have already called me and decided on another candidate. 3 are waiting to send the rejection letter in the mail. Me...I'm waiting for the next round of viable listings.

Until then I Utilitize myself as Vampire Slug No. #7 here at the Big Show.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment

When cooking a Delicious DiGiorno, "It's not delivery" rising crust pizza. It is inadvisable to make a phone call at the 20 minute mark should you enjoy the conversations with the personal you are calling. After an extended duration of post recommended baking time the pizza will spontaneously combust. Take into account that flaming pizza isn't that hard to extinguish, it's fairly simple. There are a number of options. A.) give it a shower, B.) spray it in the sink C.) Hoss it out a window, D.) throw it out the nearest 2nd floor sliding glass door into the snow, E.) Suffocate it with tinfoil.

I also wouldn't recommend trying said pizza after it's charring. The pepperoni will taste like burnt coffee. ( you may be asking why in the hell did I try to eat it?) The answer is simple, everyone would. It's not a char thing, it's a waste thing...everyone would at least take a little lick to make sure that they weren't throwing away a viable option for sustinance. Afterall...a little redhot may help it back to life.

Self help hint of the moment. "watch yer pizza ya damn fool, watch it cook"

That is all, move along.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Break down

Time percentages for a 50 week work year.

Graphic Designer gets hired to do graphic design work. 100% of the time.
Graphic Designer is told that 50% of the time he'll be doing Pre-press production.
Graphic Designer is told to Edit, Comics, Weather, Puzzles and Tone Photos 20% of his time
Graphic designer becomes the end all beat all Utility player and is loaded with Paginator responsibilities 20% of his time.

Graphic designer is now doing graphic design about 10% of the time he's working......

Wonder why they hired a graphic designer? Me Too!

And if you got a warm fuzzy feeling when you saw PAGINATOR.... the position doesn't have any futuristic weapons, body armor, or super powers...I can't kick Chuck Norris in the yam bag and get away with it.

Sucktitude Factor jumps by exponentially lethal denominations on it's way to critical mass.

My mood....... Meat the Fuzzy Bunnies


...and MMmmmmm

Great News everybody!!!

As per the new position at the Gaz, I will work ??? 6 hr shifts, ??? 8hr shifts, or it could be ???12hr shifts, I may have to start at 3pm, or perhaps 6pm. They might even throw a 5'er in there. And it all boils down to what ever the hell they decide. SO, I may have a 3 or 4 day weekend, I may have to work weekends, I might just work my regular schedule,"the one I've grown accustomed to for the last 2 yrs". At least I know that it'll be at night, cuz fuck daylight, I'd rather work a Friday around Happy hour and Saturday night anytime. Never have anything to do then, nothing ever......

My computer keys and the room are rank with the smell of sarcasm, disdain, and lamenting abhorance. I'd love to post more, but I have to work tommorrow at a different strange time and I may, or ..........may not have a few extra hours to kill. This week it all depends on when they need me the next day.

I've pulled the pin and I'll let this sucker cook off for a lil bit before I toss it.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


Miss Kate, Willem, Jacob and Emily thankyou for a fantastic evening up yonder in what is now the snow belt of death. I had tons of fun. Slim's was awesome, until Gremlin mcSketchy rained on the parade. I'm sure that Willem can agree with me here in saying that there's something magical about gianormous circus boobs and their progression with each additional beverage/bar, and shift change. "Circus Boobs"

As expected, the weekend was an adventure, Nor'easters can indeed suck it. After getting my keys out of the truck where I conveniently locked them Friday evening I headed off to see J and B, they've just purchased a couple of cabins on a good sized plot of land. When I first tried to locate their new digs, I didn't understand that they do live in the midde of Nowhere NH. If you are driving on RTe 202 it's just a 45minute drive from East BahJesus Junction, turn at the logging trail, signal an SOS with your horn launch a flare and then keep going just a bit farther. Had some great foods and some bevvies. Thank you as well for the hospitality, and the circus boobs in Concord. This is where it gets a little strange.

I made up my mind in a pretty rapid manner that I wanted to beat the "Storm" home so I loaded up the frankensteiner and left J & B's place at about 2am. I'm a big deal, usually I make better time in the wee hours of the night. Not so much this time around. The Nor'easter was earlier than expected, and the weather reports I was judging my flight on were skewed. I had been under the impression that 6am was the kickoff. Had that been the case I would have made it home prior to the real nasty stuff. I; of course, was mistaken and at 2:00:12 am I began what was to become my extended 12hr sojourn back to the Oasis. I managed to get lost a bunch of times, it really wasn't my fault everything was white. I won't bore you with details, Although I do realize why people say they're shattered tired now. A little nap every 30hrs or so is a hum-ding'er of a great way to spend some quality time searching your eyelids for holes. By the time I reached my place it was just after nooner. I couldn't see straight, think straight, and My body wanted to shut down, so I napped a few hours and then meandered in to the office for a long evening.

It probably wasn't the brightest idea to leave a nice warm cabin at 2am to bomb through a snowstorm.

I can't think, I'll have o continue the post at another time.

HAPPY B-DAY lil Mac!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

On the 'Morrow

I'll see you in about 16hrs Miss Kate, Willem and Fam. I'll shoot you a call while enroute to see if you need anything and/or if I run into any unforseen bru-haha.

Jenn, give me ring, let me know what I'll be bringing sat. for dinner and drinks.

Lil Mac, Kristi, and D, I'll see you on Sunday prior to heading in to do my Gazetteering.

Keene NH You don't scare me, and Nor'easters can suck it.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Never be.....

I will never be a professional gift wrapper, it's not my bag, gift bag if you will.... It's not that I don't want to's just that I severely fall short of the of the standards/protocal requirements for making gift packages look presentable for the masses. I can honestly say that should you receive a gift from me this holiday season, and it's in professional grade "wrapping paper" It will be ghetto wrapped, expect duct tape and packing tape, as well as portions of the "paper" that have had tape mistakenly attached and torn off leaving a blank spot to add to the motley continuity of ghettoness.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Here's a brand new flyer for the upcoming adventure. (where it leads, I do no know, but chances are that the storm will have me using comp, sick, and Vacation time on the return home. AHhhhh HAHHAAAHHAHA.....hahahhahaha. ha ha uhhhhhh)

I had thought about adding "Live Free or Freeze Your Eggs" but didn't think everyone would catch what I was throwin'" Get it, your in "the BOYS", "yer STONES", "The frank and BEANS", "the twig and BERRIES", "the other BRAIN", ...feel free to add any tacky childish name you have for your testicles after the beep.

The Quick Turn

It stands to reason that a person of my age would know better when it comes to food stuffs. But alas sometimes we intelligent people go against all that is in our better judgement.

Hence the Quick Turn:

I had the option of mailing and or dropping off; by hand, the final estimate for truck repairs to the Screwheads. I chose the latter. After my triumphant last rant session I decided that I wanted to celebrate with a couple of burritos. I enjoy hot spicy foodstuffs (While in college, our fraternity house was under the impression that redhot and other capt'n insano hotsauces were a distinct food group) I made the burritos slathered with Endorphin Rush (it's just hot enough to be on the cusp of a fight or flight response) straight out of my personal stash of gut rot goodness and enjoyed my meal. Mastication and Esophagial (sp) aspects aside I "thoroughly enjoyed the lunch."

As with most people when they eat their gastrointestinal processes get triggered and the food slowly makes its rounds. Along with my burritos I had a few cups of coffee, a regular addition to lunchtime meals considering my sleeping habits. Prior to heading to work I had to whiz. Mid-stream I experienced a gutteral thunderboomer. I'm going out on a limb and focusing on the male aspect here "it's happened to us all". If you're a woman the experience should be different. If it's not you're doing it all wrong by all guesstimation. I almost immediately had to "Quick Turn". Had I not..... there would have been a serious clean up in aisle #2. Wheeling around like ninja I planted firmly and held on. This is why I can infer that if a woman experiences a Quick Turn they're doing it all wrong. [that's the short version]

I have yet to completely define Quick Turn for Merriam-Webster but I do believe it should be available for the entire population to read up on. SO there you have it: Quick Turn: (kwik-tern) n. 1. The inevitable whiz-to-sit, due to explosive lower gastrointestinal exedus following ingestion of nuclear hot food stuffs.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007


500 Gallons of liquified Gorilla dung sprayed through a fire hose wouldn't be good enough for some people to take in the face right now. Seriously, My zippo has a new flint and I'm pissin' gasoline, watch your feet.

Somedays it doesn't pay to get out of bed prior to 2pm I swear. Wishing you a very happy holiday, since mine is apparently F-in cancelled. Put on your shades everybody and look toward Eastern NY.

.....and just like that, an oreo cookie changes everything. huh!?


Shaggy: It's 257 miles to Rochester, I got a full tanks of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and I'm wearing sunglasses.
Bob: Friday.....Hit it.

Monday, December 10, 2007


After posting that I may once again be able to hit the road and have made tentative plans to carry out. I find myself questioning my resolve.

The Funtruck isn't at 100%, the brakes are still al little soft an can't be worked on until I return to G-ville for the holidays.
It's by no means unsafe to drive, and I'm positive that I can stop the beast if need be, but I'm constantly white knuckled and thinking that at any point my tires will all fall off and I'll shower sparks down the highway, flip, roll and that I'll make a grand exedus from the vehicle by way of ninja, landing on my feet involuntarily screaming TAaaa Dah, whilst taking a bow. My plans this weekend will have me traveling through the mountainous regions of VT and NH definitely out of cel service and chances are that the weather won't cooperate. SO I'm torn.

My boys say "just go ahead and do it testosterone monkey", my mind says "what if "!? ( who would have thought that a little technical disuption in the proper working of a vehicle could generate such feelings)

One of my projected stops is kind of blind, I'm not to sure they'll be around, the second stop is on the return, and the third is Lil Mac's B-day celebration. If I should decide that it's not a great option to put the Funtruck out there for potential damage, I'll limit my travels to Togatown and the lil lady. (the choice is weighing on me. I really would like to see the all folks prior to the holiday and spread a bit of ShaggyBob cheer)

As much as I enjoy sitting in around the Oasis all by my lonesome I never have a feeling of accomplishment after such a weekend. Flip flop, flip flop.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

ShaggyBob's Funtruck

I'm thinking that I want to see this in person on Friday, covered in snow, while warmed by some spirits. Busy weekend for the funtruck should the repairs not be in the cards right away. I'll be traveling to Rochester NH, Concord NH, and ending my weekend with the the Lil Mac to celebrate the big 2.0. should be good times. Hopefully between now and Friday plans won't change.

Todays Randomness is brought to you by, yet another ruined set of pants by way of 2mm aluminum plate of death, the word limpid • \LIM-pid\ • adjective 1 *a : marked by transparency : pellucid b : clear and simple in style 2 : absolutely serene and untroubled. And the number 4. (total pants ruined by said plates).

No stitches.........

Friday and the end of weekness

It had shaped up to be just another boring weekend at the Oasis, until my bonus checked arrived via rubberband man at work on Thursday. Since I had a bit o extra cash burning a hole in my wallet I decided that a trip to outlet/mall/wastemoneyville was in order. Friday morning I awoke to the usual alarm clock flinging that only gets the clock far enough out of my reach on it's cord tether that I had to get up and turn it off. 10am...wicked "need more coffee than usual early". I traveled to the Comic Depot in Greenville Center NY, followed by a short trip to the Wilton Mall. D was at the shop and I was able to chat for a few hours, ad the mall went swimmingly despite the chaos, and I go all of my holiday shopping finished with relatively no pain what so ever. As I was leaving the Toga, passed Lowe's... I decide to see if the Waldo was working, he was. It was the end of his shift so we ventured to have a few beers before I had to head back toward the 'dirt.

When I returned home I tried valiantly to wrap all the goodies, I'm poor at this wrapping paper stuff. SO, what would any red blooded american do faced with such a daunting task? Yup, my thoughts exactly, add 20 or so oat sodas and the process should get easier right? I now have holiday gifts balled up in lime green paper surrounded by copious amounts of packing, duct, and scotch tapes. Half the fun is watching someone when they open a gift that you've thought long and hard over, the perfect little something to brighten their day. I get to watch this in super slo-motion with a healthy sound track. (Good luck to anyone that gets into the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop in less than 20minutes.)

Saturday had me nursing a pretty healthy bout of the day afterness, but I managed to spend a shiite ton of cash at the grocery store restocking the shelves in my pantry for the inevitable Frankensteiner break down that puts my bank account in the red again. I watched the complete Lord of the Rings trilogy, and basically festered.

Sunday afternooner I was visited by Vinnie Bag O' Donuts and we powered down a turkey bird prior to me heading to work.... I'm turkeyed out, sitting infront of my computer and ready for a nap. Over all I give the weeeknd a 6 out of 10, plus 2 for running into a bunch of folks that I don't see on a regular basis. 8 out of 10 ain't half bad if you ask me. Strippers would have put it over the top, but I gave that idea the slip once I opened the first beverage.

This week should be less crazy, we'll see what's what when it gets to it.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Would you like to

Every thing electronic that I touched....scratch that, everything having to do with the technological inovations of man that I came in contact with this evening, sputtered and fell apart, quit, froze, made hissing noises and shot hydrolic fluid and or, generally didn't respond to the stimuli I decided to press upon them.

The main frame, went down as soon as I walked into the building, the harris system fried while I was working on the Obituary reports and page (If you have never seen a really sad/irate person, try telling someone that the obituary for their loved one that just cost them 3g's is not going to run in the paper due to a computer glitch). The Olive program shorted and replaced the last two weeks of Paper online with information from 2003. The H System eventually came back online, but that didn't deter the JazBox, or the OSX systems from following suit. Each work station I sat in, whether I touched the keyboard or just looked at the screen had a catastrophic meltdown. FX-1 our bread and butter Neg to Plate exchanger blew a hydrolic line. And the bump door "just a lil bump of light to warm up the scum onthe plate for burning"...wouldn't open and fried all the plates. The Frankensteiners radio fritzed and then came back on. I'm glad I don't wear a wrist watch on my junk...I'd be childless for ever. BBzzzzzzz no swimmers?

Half empty you ask...hell no, My fuzzy white ass is off for the weekend. Peace!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


I've found that I'm becoming more and more predisposed to worrying too much. I grind my teeth in my sleep, fret ungodly amounts and generally take things too seriously. When the hell did that happen? I used to be pretty mellow, laid back and nothing seemed to get to me. Now not so much.

It's time to re-assess, and get back to the norm for this guy. Tommorrow I start with a fluffernutter sandwich w/grape jam for breakfast and go from there.

Of course a Holiday bonus check never hurts and the fact that the grease monkeys are paying for all the frankensteiner damage helps out as well.


In light of recent events, I've once again decided it might be in my best interest to search for a new vehicle. I do have the Funtruck back in my posesssion now, and other than a bit of softness in its braking ability Frank should be good to go for another run at breaking down for good.

I'm looking at a few choices and welcome the input.

Rubicon Unlimited?


FJ Cruiser?

Subaru Forester?

Stick with my main man, the one that got me from A top B for the last 4yrs?
THE Frankensteiner

Obviously the steadfast factors of price and other nonsense apply.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


The truck is still impounded at the G-ville repair shop. I'm coming down with a cold (apparently the old drink enough gin to be pickled trick for killing any virus is null and void) and the frosting comes to you directly from the Workplace.
Last evening I was joking with my supervisor, and he qiuped that I would be running the show today. Har dee har har har. I chuckled knowing full well that I'm neither prepared nor and I able to do the specicif jobs in a timely and uber correct manner yet. (mostly due to the fact that the Handbook for proper operating procedures and the indexed section for trouble shooting is, well, non-existant) Official training=> nope. Learned the position while i was performing my other duties putting in extra hours for ridiculosity. I have notes scribbled on index cards and post-it notes outlining everything that the position requires. It's like I was studying for an Art History test on Cimabue, and other Early Italian Renaissance painters, only I don't give a flying fuck about the subject matter here as a Gazeteer.

I arrived at work early to check the old email and realized that the old man wasn't kidding around. Tonight is the first night that I'm ultimately responsible for the only product that the company produces. Three editions of newspaper that has a deadline of 2400 hrs. More pay to pad the wallet, not so much.... still looking for a job that follows it's job description as stated when hired you bet your ass. So this evening while running the show and paginating the paper, uploading all info to the website, and generally being a superfly TnT pissed of Mofo, I get to continue to do my other assigned responsibilities. I'll be spending free time away from the servers and 8 other systems to complete the 3hrs of editing for thecomics and puzzles that need to be done, toning photos and designing advertisements for paying customers that aren't going to get my full attention.

I've already blasted through 6hrs of overtime this week, and was notified that I have to take the time in comp hours WTF is that shiite.

Happy Holidays everyone... I'm half empty right now, and that glass needs to be filled at somepoint. Maybe it's time to test the mettle, and get some bubbling done on my dinner break.

Addendum: I've gotten word on the Frankensteiner and not only did I dodge the bullet by way of some serious stunt driving, I only got whacked for a grand worth of damage. Yeah only 1000bones worth of Screwhead making my ride a hunk of more disgruntled junk. Thanks for balancing my tires!!!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Apple a day

I ran across this picture of a 101yr old woman voting in "someplace" Russia. She actually made it on A1 of our publication. I believe for some Putin related issue or something. My first thought was she looks familiar, I believe I've seen her twin sister somewhere. SO being the super sleuth that I am I hit up the ye olde Intarwebb for a bit of help and found what I was looking for. DO NOT under any circumstances buy apples from this woman. Sweet sweet, deliciouuuuus apples, just have one bite and .........

Sunday, December 2, 2007

....THAT's IT! I call Super Bullshit

I was correct with one aspect of my Friday last week....Tequila is badnews after working the night shift. Agave and eggs is just as terrible as it sounds, and smells even worse.

The Funtruck is officially set to be poked and prodded by the garage back in G-ville, at least I trust the folks up there. I think the majority of my anger stems from only a few basic points. 1.) I have 6 payments left B.) I was performing an unnecessary make the truck feel good service that ended in a three wheeler. Gamma.) Chances are that it'll be costing me an arm at least possibly a leg as well to fix the damage that the incident caused. 9'er) I can't take a nap and it won't fix itself.

If I can eventually drive the vehicle again, I'll definitely be driving it into the ground. I had considered trading it in, but now with the impending repairs I think it'll put the old guy over the edge and make it pretty damn worthless. 6 payments away.... now, if I buy a new ride, it'll be setting me back to the stone age. "I'd say why me why now? but I know last visit to the dentist I didn't have to have any work done and the cogs and sprockets of the world started to slow, creating massive tidal shifts and tsunamis on the other side of the planet. Paktar the Indian goat herder just had a similar incident and his first ever visit to the dentist was a perfect bill of health (my truck fell apart) stupid goat herders with great teeth.

Friday is the first pagination day for me, so I have to get back to work and finish creating the Officially unofficial gazette handbook for pagination goodness, (I'm going to build a bridge for the next poor schmoe that comes along and is pushed to the edge)