Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Another day.

Arrive at the office (check)
Danzig blaring on the production floor (Check)
Less than a ton of responsibility for the evening (Check)
Taking a few hours for dinner (Check)
Returning to nothing piled up (Check)

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Houston

Houston we have a problem.... (cathartic typing....done)

Monday, April 28, 2008

Melancholy


Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc


*Update* Sometimes all it takes is successfully eating an entire meal with chopsticks to discover a little bit of self-worth.
I'm the guy that would mistakenly turn right in a NASCAR race.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Survived another weekend

No matter how good an idea sounds, if it involves Scotch and a fairly late evening, it's probably better to fore go the neat three fingers and stick to something that won't precipitate sleeping until 4pm the next day. (I shouldn't complain thanx fer the happy hour company Ray and Waldo). I really didn't accomplish much, but had a grand weekend.

I finally got around to refilling the pantry, so.... bonus Bob's Cookin Show for a few weeks.

Cant wait to meet up with the old highschool buds this weekend and play some golf, run around with their kids and generally catch up. The Funtruck Booze Cruz will be taking flight to the greater metro-Syracuse area on Friday. May have to stop in around Armory Square and get stupid...

As always if you're in the area hit the cel.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hurrrpppppfffffght



8am seems like a great time to waken from a terrible dream to realize that you were dreaming in that in-between stage of fully alert and dead fast asleep. This morning I was Horrified. Horrified beyond measure and literally, physically dry-heaved my way to full awake. I left all my windows open last night due to the chill in the air and the way it makes me sleep like a rock. Usually by nooner the heat of the day replaces the cool of the night and I roll out of the rack and start my day... urrgph, URgph, URRGHPRT. Not today Bruther, not today....

(I was on a televised gameshow and Wink Martindale was the host, the studio audience was screaming and the final prize was about to be revealed with myself in the lead. I only had to answer one question and the stuff would be mine. I was nervous, jittery, restless if you will. Wink was doing his best to draw out the suspense. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt faint, borderline nauseous. I twisted my head back and forth scanning the audience for hints; to the yet to be iterated question. Then it dawned on me... I was on the game show "What's that Smell?" Wink busted open a jar of whoop ass filth and asked the question to the delighted applause of the now ravenous sneering, drooling, crowd. They were bug eyed and chomping, bloodshot and nashing. Then the dreaded Question "What's That Smell?" A.) A garbage truck unloaded its contents in your living room, B.) An entire heard of buffalo spontaneously combusted your apartment, or C.) A Sewage suckin, Diesel burning, Septic tank sleucing truck just started pumping ungodly funk out of the manhole cover under your balcony to remove a non-apparent clog in the poopy pipe system. The crowd was now making a slurping sound in unison, the funk was unbearable, I heaved, Wink Martindale cackled out loud as the crowd revved up. A heaving wave of? )

......Straight out of bed to shitter, 14inches of faux hawk drappped over the big white telephone to God, Jettisoning the chunky cargo. M-F'er

I left the apartment immediately in my pajamas, drove two miles down the road and fell back asleep behind the wheel, in the Walmart Parking. When I returned a few hours later it took half the day to get the smell out of my place.

Wouldn't you think that some maintenance guy would perhaps notify those in the building that they were going to open the pit of hell an suck the shit out? Nah, I just woke up to I don't know how many peoples colon stench in my lungs. (Air and detritus from inside someone else, numerous someone elses made its way into my body) And that ladies and gentlemen...is not cool.

Unrelated: If you're in the Capital Region, Open Bar @ The Oasis Friday April 25th, 5pm

Not in my pants

I slashed a hole in my damn shorts. It started with a simple repetitious movement gone awry. It has happened before; and I'm sure it'll happen again, but the shock is still the same. Razor sharp aluminum lower body fabric dessimation and the immediate sprint to the nearest area someone won't see you checking to see if the bits are still attached. I'm not going to say my shorts tied the room together, but they were my fav. I do have a bit of a gash but not on ye olde twig or berries.

Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move pla..... OOH F*ck!
.......breathe
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate
Move plate=> 200 more times

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Living expenses

Don't you just love it when you have to put up or shut up. My lease at the Oasis runs out at the end of next month, and I've been notified in writing that I need to make the decision 30days in advance and notify the proper people involved. May 25th is the deadline for my out/stay. I was given the written information along with another lease agreement should I go down that road. The only problem is that the new agreement has for various unknown reasons been jacked up. Jacked to the point of I may be borderline broke. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) The paperwork was dropped infront of my door this afternoon by one of the plentiful maintenance workers and it was dated two weeks ago. Two weeks to make a decision that now has to be made by Friday.

It's not that I don't look around for apartments. I'm always trying to find something better that's the way life works. Apartment/job/breakfast cereal... there's always an upgrade. Now, though I'm feeling the pressure to either tighten my budget, or find a place to live. It would be easy to get a place in the 'Dirt, easy enough that I decided that I needed to move out of the 'Dirt, (rent it, have it broken into, sleep with a baseball bat, move, repeat X3 goodness). In my quest for the quintessential step up, I've made the conscious decision not to take a step back. Work for more pay, live in a better place, drive the parts off the truck and then upgrade.... fruits and vegetables, that sort of thing. Moving out would shatter my funds, cause havok with my stuff. I lean toward stay, but I'd really like to move north a bit and get my toga on.

It's obvious that the property manager has some slyness going on, where at they either, back dated, or purposely held the documents so that I would be pressured to stay. => insert Rant, Rant, Rant. It doesn't cost more to keep a building standing when the landlord pays "nothing". That to me is (Monstu, I need a Quote) "Super....."

It doesn't help that, I may or may not be leaving the Gaz establishment to try and one-up myself in the old career catagory. I'm getting antzy already and am forcing myself to not jinx it as I have with previous institutions. ( I've bitched before it's similar to the old addage "always a bridesmaid never a bride" thing, losing out numerous times to that one other chiach, after a few phone and sitdown interviews, dinners, and fucktons of travel, all for naught ) If I sign a lease I'm landlocked at the Oasis. Should I get a dif job... the commute is going way farther, way more expensive and the wear and tear on the franknsteiner with sooner rather than later be cause for an upgrade. Then again, pay upgrades may far exceed the pitfalls. Hell anything during the day and for a penny more a year and I'd shitcan the paper.

Shady F'in people can kiss my tiny fuzzy white ass. SO, the decision process begins, and will be cut shot just about 4pm on Friday. Ray Ray...4:15 is happy hour @ the Oasis. We may end up just having to piss on the floors

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Cross Your fingers....

...I'm prepping another resume', this one is for a registrarial position yet to be posted at the Tang Teaching Museum, Skidmore College. $1.7mil Mellon Grant funded new position in the making. Now all I have to do is learn how to use my indoor voice again, and maybe get that perfect Windsor working again. ( http://www.tie-a-tie.net/ )

http://tang.skidmore.edu/

Monday, April 21, 2008

Not a Fan of LOL-Cats, Fail Dogs on the other hand....

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment:
When Tax season rears its ugly head and You happen to be one of the people on top of the game (i.e. I got my return already) when cashing the check poste haste, be sure to endorse it. The teller missed the missing on my part and just deposited the check into my account. I forgot because I was giddy, she missed it because she was in a hurry. (neither of us should be faulted but, it IS her job) I got a call and had to return to the bank to sign the check even though I had a reciept that said it was already my money. SO.... sign your tax return check and make sure the cash belongs to you...without having to do a double take and put your Herbie Hancock on the thing during a second coming. Tax return =>check, money already spent=> not quite yet, looking forward to spending said money =>check. (I need some options feel free to let me know how you'd spend my money)

Todays Randomness.
Todays Randomness is brought to you by, afternoon golfing, the word ├ęclat • \ay-KLAH\ • noun 1 : ostentatious display : publicity *2 : dazzling effect : brilliance 3 a : brilliant or conspicuous success b : praise, applause. and the number 4:45 (the last minute I can finish a round of golf including travel time and still make it to work on time) Summer's going to be good.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

OUTING


Sometimes you have to let the big dog eat. (that's me minus the pimp golfing gear, right after this shot a helicopter landed and was under the impression that my legs were a distress call via signal mirror)

I got out for a little stick whackin' this weekend and the chasing of little dimpled white balls still has its allure. It was a beautiful day, breezy yet warm, not melt your face warm, but comfortable. I didn't shoot too poorly (meaning I came away from the outing with just as many golf balls as I started with.) The score really shouldn't matter being that it was the first trip of the year, but I did shoot my best score EVAR! Technical golfing is for the pros, I prefer imbibing to work my way to a more relaxed and spiritual golf game. I only let Mr. Shanky eat once, but man-o-man does he put some thunder in the balls ass. It feels good to know that you can smash a golf ball 275yds and never have it clear a ceiling of 20ft prior to when it breaks the sound barrier. The only problem I had was with the sun. It doesn't like me even though I was wearing SPF SweatSuit.

I don't think I'll be able to get the funtruck prepped for the road the next couple of weeks while the bank account rejuvenates itself. Damn, being able to see and whatnot. I picked out some new specs and hopefully the prescription will be ready prior to the upcoming weekend.

Happy B-Day to Arls he turns the big 3.0. today.......

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Todays Randomness

The nightside has a gentleman, a fitness guru - that works the swing between late afternooner and the night shift. The dude's active, and hopefully when I'm his age I'll be stacked up like he is. Periodically there are magazines about lifting and fitness to peruse when waiting, say, for the slow ass computers here to complete a scan or something of that sort. I was flipping through one of said magazines and thumbed to a page with a great image of a scantily clad fitness betty, it was overtoned in reds, oranges and yellows (H-o-t => Capital H). She was practically naked covered only by other portions of the advertisement. I oggled for a bit then realized what the advert was selling.......

Todays randomness is brought to you by Muscular Development Magazine, the word Ejaculoid. n. apparently a suppliment that gargantuan body builders take that leads to: Boost in Libido, #1 "Sperm" Volumizer, Bigger and Better Orgasms. And the number 2 MILLION BeaTCH ERRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr!! AAAaaaaaaaahgggrrrrgh (Now "come on back" here to this side of the room, wipe that stuff off your entire body and I'll bench press you goodnight.)

I'm all for people being fit; if that's your thing so beit, although I personally believe it's getting a bit out of control when you have a bicep that is the size of "My" waist. I only say this because I'm probably the gangliest, gooniest, ultra skin-n-bones wimp that another zombie could ever love. These guys are bench pressing 4 Shaggys for a warm up, and I have a difficult time dragging my own ass out of bed in the afternoon.

Goliath Labs has all the loids for a complete undercarriage overhaul.

EJACULOID...STIMULOID...GROLOID...THERMOLOID

Grunting and excessive mirror time not included.

See You Next Sunday.....

Click ME

MEMEMEME

I snaked this little thing from Miss Kate cuz I thought it would be fun.....

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? nonexistant
3. Your hair? mopped
4. Your mother? awesome
5. Your father? missing
6. Your favorite thing? life
7. Your dream last night? bizarre
8. Your favorite drink? Free
9. Your dream/goal? family
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your ex? successful
12. Your fear? impotence
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? loaded
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you’re not? antisocial
16. Muffins? no
17. One of your wish list items? FJ
18. Where you grew up? sticks
19. The last thing you did? paint
20. What are you wearing? cargos
21. Your TV? unused
22. Your pets? sheltered
23. Your computer? company
24. Your life? blah
25. Your mood? lackadaisical
26. Missing someone? lady
27. Your car? Frankenstein
28. Something you’re not wearing? chip
29. Favorite store? Borders
30. Your summer? trippin'
31. Like someone? sure
32. Your favorite color? titanium
33. When is the last time you laughed? now
34. Last time you cried? February
35. Who will repost this? nobody

I not a Memer, but I'm interested in what Boone & Jen, Miss Kristi, and Z have on tap for this one.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

For your darkest days......

Constuctive weekends

Having a weekend where something other than liver damage happens seems to me to be a good thing. I helped my bro do some projects to his house that was similar in happening to when Kate decided that she was going to renovate her kitchen while the hubby was away. ( Sorry no link, I'm not inatrwebb savvy enough to get it there). The sis-in-law was away at a conference and I was invited to partake in the "While you were out" edition of renovation/ rejuvination. I was primed and ready for painting, I'm not allowed to use power tools by decree of the TEP-LPE fraternity bi-laws, and now of course my family, I'm not good with electrical wiring unless it's the receiving end of a taser, and generally banging nails would leave holes in a wall at my hands. I can however, paint. Tape it, roll it, trim it, edge it, retape it, edge it, re-edge it, paint it, brush it, sponge it, roll it..... remove tape and viola!, painted wee one's room. It was baby colored so I didn't get to throw abstraction into it, but an even coat of paint goes a long way for making a place look presentable for a new arrival. Goodtimes.


Todays Randomness is brought to you by, Spring weather SWAT teams, the word hibernaculum • \hy-ber-NAK-yuh-lum\ • noun : a shelter occupied during the winter by a dormant animal (as an insect or reptile), and the number 3 ( the number of times in the past week that the Schnectadirt SWAT team did some spring cleaning and defuming a la tear gas).

Tax season is here and I'm getting a whopping return (no sarcasm) I'm trying to decide how to spend it and have two options as of right now, new specs and a a new truck. Given the extent of the governmental "here's your cash" I may be able to pull them both off. Although I'm leaning toward the new prescription first so as to better see the vehicle that I pine for. {And even if it's a cheaper option I'll never buy a car/truck/SUV that is urine yellow}..... we'll see how far I get with the cash in the up coming weeks.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

500 years 90 faces

Click the link...if you can name 40 of the portraits w/ artists name, or more, during the slide show. You truly are an Art Geek like me. I hit 65 of the 90. Although the "Birth of Venus" portrait gets me everytime and I have I stuck in my head...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Coffee


I dig coffee, and if you've ever had the chance to partake; at the Oasis, of the special blend of goodness that I measure out diligently from three different microcosms of the coffee world you know what I'm talkin about here. Somedays though it may be just a bit too much for me, and here's why. ( Have you ever seen the episode of Futurama whne Frye drinks 100 cups of coffee and the world slows down around him?) I'm there. I couldn't fall asleep last night and had a sleep disorder-esque morning. I finally caught a nap at 11am today and slept for the long haul.... I'm talking all of 2hrs. So I decided to brew some heaven and chug it all day long. I'm now seeing the visual representation of how a heart/nuclear reactor melts down... there are garden gnomes running around the office, I can see them when I'm not seeing the kaleidascope of random blotches of color zipping back and forth. I had tunnel vision for a bit, and that was pretty cool, I got to feel as though I was wearing night vision goggles in florescent lighting....

I'm going to continue to imbibe the nectar and hopefully I'll make it to a gittery end of the evening. At that point I'm in hopes that my system will crash and I'll shake the night away in blissful sleep.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Nursery

So, Friday and Saturday I get to use Power tools and huff paint fumes in the quest to deliver a suitable place for the Bro & sis-inlaws' wee one to live-in when he/she arrives in August. I can't wait... Something to do on a weekend that will be constructive as opposed to my virile ability to wreak havok on me, myself, and I.

All I have to do is make it through the short week and I'm golden.... I guess that' easier said than done. I felt like canceling the paper today after I rolled out of bed and looked at the sunshine. (I think I need some new running shoes, and one of those eat healthy pyramid charts, or a juicer that can make healthy liquid refreshment.) I guess now that I look back at what I just typed that may not be a good idea... I doubt hotdog juice would be anywhere near tasty, but i do know it would be on tap at least once.

welcome to my head..... power-tools and hotdog juice. Where have all the years gone?

Saturday, April 5, 2008

lovely nite ain't it?




Why's it always gotta be like that? Huh? why.... give someone a stick and they gotta beat you down with it. Some help that pimp-ass little cherub is, isn't he. Beating the livin' loin cloth off uh me. Bitch needs to pick up that harp and play me a tune before I stands up. And the lil fat man better keep waddling on down the road or I'll teach his ass how to fly. Cupid shoots an arrow and the all the chicks are whack-a-doodles. Crazy lot...all of ya!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Workin

Working everynight until further notice...... That is all. Able Zulu Foxtrot 9'er. "Woodchuck to gray squirrel, woodchuck to gray squirrel..., the owl has fallen from the tree"

I've noticed that the powers that be in NY have decided to tax cigarettes another $1.25 a box, making them 2dollars more expensive than a gallon of gas. I know who made it happen and I'm 1.) psyched, and 2.) looking for hockey equipment to incorporate into my leather jacket.
That's him sitting on the shoulders of the non-smoking giant.

"Two men enter, one man leaves....Two men enter, one man leaves"

Not a movie clip, this was an actual thunderdome at burning man.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The day after

I'm back at work; after an initial evening, following a 4 day weekend that involved a bunch of retardation and horrification. Not a bad gig, but I'm feeling better that I can resume being in my routine. I never thought it a big deal until I was away from it for an extended break (i.e more than 2days). I think having a solid routine makes me sane.

Saturday afternoon, I recieved a gift from Vinny and Val that was most unexpected. If you look at my link list, there is a listing for Oblique Strategies. It's basically a random thought and suggestion card deck that can help you in a tight creative pinch if you happen to be stuck, creating music, writing, or painting. I assume it would work for a miriad of other things as well. Vinny and Val hooked me up with an actual deck SHIT-YEAH!....

Here are the first three cards I drew last night when I was having an issue with a new piece..."I don't know if they are good or bad, but they're definitely comical if you know me".






"Carry On, Change Nothing and Continue with Immaculate Consistency, Disciplined Self-Indulgence"