MOving

I've officially decided that the Oasis is a thing of the past. I'm packing it up and getting ready to move out at the end of the month. There are a number of places that I've looked at and have on tap, but they're all in Limbo. SO I'm putting my stuff in storage for the time being and surfing for a bit. It couldn't come at a better time, it'll be good to move into a house with a couple of roomates to defray the cost of living and give me a bit more cash to spend on me and stuff (new shoes for the jeep a light bar..... you know necessities).

To add to the awesome that the OAsis is and was, periodically they pump out the septic tanks of the complex. Now if I had a day job it wouldn't be even remotely a problem. I work the night shift so when a poopy tanker decides that it's time to suck up human waste at 9am it isn't that fun. It's the third time they've emptied the tanks in two years and the pipe/manhole cover to the damn thing is just about 15yrds from my balcony. LAst night was brisk yet not cold night in the 'Dirt so I had all my windows and doors open. Wretched isn't the word for what I was stunned out of my sleep to this morning. The last time it happend I drove to a parking lot in my pajamas and waited it out sleeping in my truck. This morning I didn't. Bad call bruther, bad call. They were in and out relatively quickly so it wasn't like 3hrs of shit-festering funk but it was horrid just the same. After they left I couldn't stop laughing....


If I owned a Septic company I would name it SGAS Slurp Gurgle Ack Septic

Todays Randomness

Today's Randomness is brought to you by leftovers, the word piebald • \PYE-bawld\ • adjective 1 : of different colors; especially : spotted or blotched with black and white *2 : composed of incongruous parts, and the number 9.

I have leftovers from nine different food stuffs sitting patiently by my desk for dinner tonight. I went to the rent's place to enjoy a belated dinner for Easter / the old man's B-day and came out of the deal with a shit-ton of food I neither wanted nor have a place for in my tiny refrigerator, so I made up my mind to eat until I couldn't force anymore. LAst night I went off the deep end and ripped through an entire Raspberry Cheese cake solo. ( It hurt.)

I'm gearing up for another week of work, bank stuff, and a possible date with the Moon-goddess bank manager, figure that one out and you get a prize. If I figure it out I'll give myself the prize.

I haven't had a smoke in 5days, and to tell you the truth I doubt I'll crave a cancer stick until I have a nice frosty cold beer in my hand. I hear that's where you have to draw the line....

I've been away

It's been awhile since the last post. Nothing has actually resolved itself. I missed Alumni weekend for what I thought was a bit of banking error on my part. I thought I spent too much loot. NO so, some jerkball stole my card information and went on a terror all over the interwebbs buying stuff. I hope for his/her sake it was something good, cuz right now....right now, I no longer enjoy a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The bank has no refund for the stolen card information but it's on its way. I had to sign 4 pages of affidavits and mail them back to corporate so they could be mailed to my bank documented and then they could mail then back to corporate who would in turn a refund for the lump sum total in a mailing of their own. ( It's a bank wire-that-shit!) So what's a guy to do when he has 28$ to his name and a 3day weekend? Yup gooooood guess, I bought beer and smokes and had people over to celebrate identity theft. Go! ID Theft !!! YAY! Ripped it up enough to piss off my downstairs moldy (Mr. B). I also slow cooked some food. I didn't think it possible to burn something in a crock pot set on low ( I was wrong) it was a bit charred although still edible 37hrs later when I rememebered I had actually put food in the thing instead of using it as a paperweight.

Back to an exciting week of the same old same old.

I should be out of the dark here pretty soon and back to financially stable. which is a good thing considering that I could possibly be moving to a new pad.

DAMN IT

BAGGED IT!!! Stupid rent, and stupid bank, and stupid checkbook skillz, and stupid Course 3 math levels, stupid calculator, stupid gas prices, stupid food, stupid Mcduff's and it's cheap ass tasty beverages, stupid me for being stupid.

I'll be at the Oasis all weekend, and the next two weeks. "RAMEN"

P-dam

I'm headed to Potsdam for the Annual LPE Alumni Weekend. This may not sound to epic, but you have to look at as thus: The Mansion on The Hill is great no matter what season (havnig spent 8yrs of my life festering in the place I'm biased), the River is a few hundred stumbles away, McDuff's is once again a viable place to imbibe and..... where was I? Oh, the people up there are nothing short of wicked Ahhsome to hangout with. I'll be rollnig from the Albany area to arrive just about 3pm, check into the Clarkson Inn (I'm pretending I'm a grown-up this round), zip on out to the house to make an appearance and then see how many people I can muster to begin the ultimate debauchery for happy hour. Ahhh McDuff's HAppy Hour how I missed thee.

Lace up yer drankin boots youngin's I'm 5x5 in the pipe flying in hot.

Chuck's nightmare

The only man that can give Chcuk Norris a run for the title

The girls

I cashed my paycheck today and went to the grocery store to liberate a tasty dinner prior to going away for the weekend. It wasn't that exciting until I was waiting in the checkout line. In front of me was a college aged betty (we'll call her Trisha), wearing what I can only describe as a celebutard track suit. It was pink...velvety and fit. She was an attractive girl, with huge... I mean huge cans. I'm 6'2" and she was 5 and change, I was looking down anyway. They were displayed prominently for the world to see splilling out of the white low cut top she wore to wrangle them. I'm a dude...I was staring no big whoop. Boobs are Boobs and a guy can't help a viewing. Although I guess I was staring a bit too openly, or the fact that I shaved off the Grizzly Adams beard a bit early in the season that made her pay more attention to this guy.( I like to thing of myself as a sexy bitch when I get cleaned up) Before I could pull my gaze from the brestesseses she was gawking at me and mentioned that I was awefully rude. NOT SO,sister.... NOT SO.

I politely informed her that "if she wasn't in the mood to get oggled by dudes while out in public, she should dress in a less openly displayed manner", I sited an example using myself as the subject "I don't go around with my balls hanging half out of my pants in public, should I choose to dress that way, I would only assume that people would be staring at them." I do believe that I would get arrested one can't openly display genitalia in New York State, but the option for women to go topless is still legal...I haven't seen it ever.

She wasn't too upset, and actually gave me a wry little half grin, and big doe eyes when we left the store chatting on the way to our vehicles.

Huh!? The girls were out there for a reason.

And it's WHAT time of year Again?

I CALL SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!! Blatent and unruly Shenanigans..........

Just in time for the holiday...brush up on your slang: http://irishslang.net/

Overdrawn

I have an innate ability to overdraw my bank accounts. An unconscious blood lust for making the bank charge me extra fees for taking too much loot. I've done it at least once each of the last 4months. I have no misconceptions about why I have no savings account to speak of. It's not good, but to tell you the truth I really don't fret about it too much. Most of the time I'm buying groceries and juice up the bill for something tasty. Then I fester as I did for the last month at my place without going out or doing much that requires the money I didn't have when I spent it. I still don't own credit cards which I believe is a very good thing. I have enough debt from student loans...a couple of credit cards would have me fleeing the country under an assumed name.

SO basically it's a fester month for me until the last two weekends, then I head to a reunion, and to meet up with some High School friends which will put me in the red again right out of the gates for next month.

Ebay auction

....sorry no picture, although I think this guy could sell snow to penguins...

"This is a max wicked sick BMX. It's a Reliance Boomerang and it's done heaps of maximum extreme stunts. I have mostly done stunts on this bike since forever. Once I did a boom gnarly stunt trick on it and a girl got pregnant just by watching my extremeness to the maxxxx. Some details about sickmax BMX: Comes with everything you see including: TOPS AS SUSPENSION REAR FORKS!! 2 x wheels 1 x seat I will even thrown my sick BMXing name for FREE - Wicked Styx. Has minor surface rust on handlebars and front forks (easily removed). More rust on rear forks (as shown in pics). Tyres hold air but are pretty old. Basically, it's an old BMX, but it's radness is still 100% in tact. Tricks I have done on this BMX: Endos - 234. Sick Wheelies - 687. Skids - 143,000. Bunny Hops - 2 (my brother dared me to do them, which I did because I'm Rad to the power of Sick). Flipouts - 28. Basically if you buy this bike you will instantly become a member to every club that was ever invented, worldwide, because you will be awesome. Pick up from Richmond in Melbourne. Throw your hands in the air like you just don't mind."

I want it now, I want that bike so I can be Rad to the power of sick.

The Dinosaur

I just read an article that the Rockie Mountain News paper is going out of business after 150 yrs of distributing information via print to the masses. It's a bigger entity that the GaZ....ok it was. The thing that struck me as odd was he way they decided to go down. They didn't let their employees know that they were closing their doors. They announced today that the last edition will be tomorrow. That means that the people that work in a similar aspect to which I am currently employed are officially out of a job tonight after they finish the run. It's Thursday... come in and get your personal effects out of the building tomorrow Friday. It seems to me that would be similar to getting whacked in the stones by a cinder block dropped from a crashing airliner just before the damn plane landed on you. Wouldn't it be a bit more decent...like decent human being to at least have given them some prior warning? what could have gone wrong with that? Oh I answered my own question, some of the employees would have looked for another job and possibly found one, thus eliminating the need to pay them while in the process of closing the damn doors....

If that happens to me here, I'll warn the public of the impending mushroom cloud here in the 'Dirt, so you can don sunglasses and look toward the Capital District and see the bright light....

A perfect world

In a perfect world it would be raining money as I left my apartment next to a stripper riding a unicycle covered in barBque sauce juggling puppies.... it's not a perfect world unfortunately.

Otter Creek Brewing Company

I'm not even going to go out on a limb here and state the fact that has been my mantra from the weekend. Otter Creek Brewing company makes a lot of delicious beer. Beer that goes with breakfast food, lunch and dinner, beer that goes with sitting on a couch or on the balcony, beer that goes with watching TV or reading a book, beer that can hitch a ride when you take the garbage out, beer that you can enjoy solo or with a friend... and the best part about their fine fine beverages, they come in tons of flavors. Mmmmmm Beer My favorite of the weekend was the "Sphinx" an Egyptian-inspired multigrain ale brewed with Vermont honey and chamomile. Can't wait for the rest to roll into the bev center down the street.

Off day

I'm having an off day today, I can't place my finger on it.... It's just an off day.

Today's Randomness is brought to you by James Thurber, the word metathesis • \muh-TATH-uh-sis\ • noun 1 a : a change of place or condition: as *b : transposition of two phonemes in a word c : a chemical reaction in which different kinds of molecules exchange parts to form other kinds of molecules, and the number 2.

Holidays Rule

HUh....

I've fallen into a lethargic slump as of late. Maybe it's time to restructure my life as it were. Not too much happens in the life of me, and most of the time I fester in solitude. Me thinks I needs a roadtrip, a brewery tour or something to snap me out of it. A lot of folks blame seasonal difective disorder in time such as this yet, in my case it may just be the fact that no sun illuminates my life. I wake in the afternoon, prepare for my day and by the time I'm ready to head out the door "especially this time of year" it's dusk, I go to work, and return home in the dark. Then the cycle repeats itself.

When I have something planned I have no problem getting up when the sun is out, but my plans seem to be far and few between... when the most exciting thing you have planned for yourself in any given week is a trip to the supermarket to pick up some grub it adds up to a sad existance in my book.

I do have the occasional bursts of creativity and love the process of slinging paint, but the spirit never moves me until 3 or 4am.

Maybe I need a change of venue.... yeah that's it, I'm going to start looking for a new place to call home. The Oasis has officially lost its luster for me. I still dig the couch and how it ties the living room together. I'm going to start searching for a place in the country, at least 20minutes outside of the current place, further from the river/moat that keeps crime at bay.

I bet a day job couldn't hurt either... but that another story all together

I can't stand Cheerleaders

Not the chicks wearing the pleated skirts bouncing around like morons screaming in unison, every guy loves those cheerleaders.

I'm talking about the inevitable left over beers/drinks that are lying around after a party. The ones that "a cheerleader must have had and decided to finish only half of, tee hee, I'll just leave this here and get another." I think my problem stems from college, when a fraternity decides to throw a party it's inevitable that there will be a few cheerleaders around. Some people forget where they placed their beverage, some don't care if they open a new one without finishing, sometimes the beer in hand just get a little too warm and needs to be left somewhere for other to clean it up. It's a disgusting habit and when faced with the eventual clean up it is even more revolting. What's in this can, why is that one spilled on the rug, who's the momo that left the full beer on top of the fishtank sitting on the walkin refridgerator with a cigarette butt stuck in it?

I managed to roll to the Brother's place this past friday and had dinner with the fam, upon returning home I had a spring cleaning moment. I looked at my bar set-up adn decided that all the cheerleaders must go. Anything that was 1/4 of a bottle or less had to be consumed. It only stands to reason, (thanks to the Awrod and his wisdom... when it reaches that point of empty it oxidizes in the bottle and becomes worthless, that's just science.) once the mixers were placed on the coffee table I began the monumental task of getting rid of them. (Disclaimer: If I called or texted you Friday evening into Saturday morning I apologize) The vodka, gin, maker's mark, kalhula, rum, Morgan's, Jack, Jose and the last wee bit of Scotch I had are now gone. I'm not going to lie, I was up until 9am...and it definitely left a mark! Think of when you sleep in in the morning and you get out of bed with a tiny hangover at 10am to begin your day. I did the same thing...only it was tuned to my schedule, I woke at 6pm and decided the day was already wasted, I held the couch down and cursed my ill fated decision.

The good news is that I don't have anymore booze in my place, which makes it that much easier to cut it out of my diet.

I can't stand cheerleaders.

Hello. Meine dizbatcher says zere iz problem mit dein cable?

Curling pics

These were the only pics I could salvage from the curling tourney. Camera Phone, and mad pitchers do not the photographer make.