Suicide Bombers

Two trucks converge on a busy University in Bahgdad. Almost simultaneously they erupt killing a lot of people (65) and wounding exponentially more. Students, shop owners, women and children, and stunned men run away from the blast zone. Standing in their path a lone figure strapped with a suicide vest. He detonates.........

At the same time half way around the globe, I'm making a pot of coffee and wondering if I want to buy a Big Mac or a Whopper for dinner tonight cuz I'm too lazy to cook today for some reason.

I wonder about statistics:
How many people died daily when Saddam was in power as opposed to now?
How many Suicide Bombings occured before our Iraq-occupation "F"-up began?
What are the success rates for strapping a bomb to yourself and heading to meet the big guy upstairs?
How many potential Bombings have been stopped, bogged down, and rendered inert by occupation forces?
How many innocent people exhibited strange behavior not unlike a stereotypical crazed bomber and have been dispatched?

(My co-worker and I were pondering) Is there a Middle Eastern (MidEast?) TV station that has anchors whom feed failed attempts at suicide bombings like America's Funniests Home Videos? Remove skier guy from the tree, and a dude getting way too close to a horny buffalo. Replace with a green army-jacketed Al Queda looking dirt-ball zigging and zagging; toward a coffee shop door, screaming whatever it is that'll get him into heaven as a Martyr (<=insert Dirka Dirka...jihad, husseinie aladirka). He makes it to the door, you can see his hand pressing the detonator...he hits head-first bouncing back off the locked door of the closed and completely empty shop, stumbles, lands on his dirt bag arse and vaporizes into a blood mist, a few chunks are all that is left aside from his left sandal. No-one else was harmed in anyway. The camera pans left, and sees a 3rd world minivan peeling off and it looks like the passenger is having convulsions. Possibly gut laughing something unintelligible. The camera switches back to the news room and the anchors are in a fit of side splitting laughter while unleashing rounds from their AK's into the plastered ceiling. Plaster chips and lime dust slowly fill the make shift studio.........

I've seen news coverage of failed attempts that cause a bunch of physical damage to property that haven't involved a single soul. In my opinion that's the mark of a perfect suicide bombing.

I'll have a triple Whopper tonight.