A "Real" Mom

By definition it is close impossible to state with hard incriminatingly speculative inferences what a Real mom just might be.

That may sound a bit off, and it is..."I AM in fact not a Real Mom"...I have neither given birth nor have I kept a Goldfish alive in my fishbowl for longer than two weeks...I think that they just didn't get enough light, miracle grow, and/or I didn't water them regularly.

I do on the other hand have a Mom...which I think can be defined as one who passed the point of Mother the same way that a Dad surpasses Father. Anyone can Mother or Father a child it takes caring and understanding individuals to constitute Mommys and Daddys. They have to play the game of rearing children with way too many factors to keep in mind and try to keep the little rug rats from wandering off the straight and narrow. Be forgiving to minor indiscretions, yet dole out heavy handed love when faced with obstinent freakeshly poor behavior. My Moms was not a fan of the timeout chair...and I thank her for her use of wooden stirring implements in fostering the proper behavior from me as I was growing up to be the hellian that we all know and love. That's not to say that she was always "Mommy Dearest-ing me". It was a rare occurance and today I say please and thankyou, pride myself on being chivalrous, and act like a gentleman when and if at all possible. She was funny , wise, and most importantly human. She was loving enough to let me make mistakes and then came to the rescue with solutions to the predicaments I landed myself in. She let me be an individual, and at the same time made sure I didin't lose track of our little nuclear and extended kinship.

Ever stick your tongue out at your step father while riding in the backseat of the Buick Skylark, because he said something that you thought was a dick thing to say; while traveling down the highway at a fair clip, only to realize that Real Moms are all-knowing and ready with an immediate response even though they seem to be not paying attention at all? I haven't stuck my tongue out at anyone for 24yrs, not because I lack the physical ability....one educational smack let me know when I was 7 yrs old that it wasn't correct way to express my thoughts. We don't see eye to eye on everything in life, but we have been able to adapt.

That I think is the main ingredient in building proper Real momitude..adaptation, try to define it as precisely as you want and make lists upon lists of pros/cons, goods/bads, and do's/don'ts...but the main focus is Adaptablity. Making due with available resources and adapt to make a childs life what you feel is the proper life to live, no matter what that may be. (You moms out there get to chose whether you're REAL or not) And if you chose 'not real' for yourself =>Adopt your kids out, or smarten the hell up and get to REAL Mom'in. Look in a mirror and pass your judgement ASAP.

That being said... I just called my Real Mom-dukes, and we're having dinner tommorrow. I'm going to thank her for making me a real man. THAT'S ANOTHER TOPIC, EH? What makes a proper Real Man? My vote.... one that was raised by my Mom.