Resume` of WTF

I took sometime today to look back at the career of the Shagzster to see just when and where I may have gone wrong with choices of employment and to chart the path of my career. It's sad and a little impressive to me.
so without further hesitation here is the most complete listing I can remember.

Nursing Home Kitchen Attendent
Dishwasher
Waiter
Landscaper
Lift rat
Parking Security Attendant
Phone room solicitor
Studio assistant
Beverage center /bottle counter/keg carrier
Prep-cook
Scenic chairlift ride attendant
DPW lawnmower
Fraternity Cook
Band Roadie/ Photographer for the Knoa
Camp Councelor
Photography Head-specialist
Group Leader
Trek Leader
Wilderness Paramedic
Gallery Attendant
Slide Librarian
Bartender
Guest Lodge Reservationist
University Musuem, Preparator/Registrar
Gallery Practices/Museum Studies Instructor
Exhibition Coordinator
Registrar
Preparator
Volunteer Coordinator
Interm Curator
Contractor Services Associate
Graphic Designer
Editor
Pre-Press Production Assistant
Photo Editor
Paginator
All Around Swell Guy

Somewhere in there I managed to pick up degrees in Studio Art, Art History, Museum Studies, and Art Education.
I also got my Brigadier General collar Stars in Imbibination/Party Animal/Slime Ballery.

My dating list follows the same plan...with hitches up to and including 4-5yrs.

With my current situation I had hoped that ecclecticism wouldn't play a part, but the last five listings definitely prove me wrong. Here is how I percieve it as a hinderance.

A professional baseball team has players that they call "utility players" a guy that can cover any number of positions should the main guy (ex. First Baseman) get registered on the Damaged List. This utility player isn't gauranteed a starting spot, can't bat regularly in every game, and as a result not only does his batting average suffer, but he doesn't get the mega-millions a star player would receive. When it comes time to hop on the free agent list, said utility player doesn't command enough pull to warrant a much larger salary, he'll be traded to another team for a pittance doing what he's been labeled to be "a utility guy". Although I have an ever increasing bag of tricks, I haven't been able ot secure a spot as that First Baseman, I was there a couple of times, but then had more and more responsibilities lumped onto the existing position so that focusing my energy on one aspect became futile.

As far as getting back to the Museum Aspect of my career, being that Utility guy scares venues away from picking me up. I've intarveewed at no less than 70 Intitutions in the last 5yrs: most of those situations involved multiple visits, calls, and sitdowns, with a good few leaving me "the Utility player" that was second in line behind Mr/Mrs. 1ST Base. Given the fact that 8 different Museum Job websites are searching across the globe for me...doesn't mean that there are hundreds or even thousands of opportunities. Last count in the US alone there were 45 listings, subtract the number that require 5-7 plus years(exp) of focused job skills and the Executive Director listings and the remainder is 7. 4 of those have already called me and decided on another candidate. 3 are waiting to send the rejection letter in the mail. Me...I'm waiting for the next round of viable listings.

Until then I Utilitize myself as Vampire Slug No. #7 here at the Big Show.