comfort food and bras

Meandering through the supermarket on Friday, slightly dazed..and super feverish I was in search of comfort food, I had already exhausted every last pantry item I could before making myself go to the store. I got the usuals (insert your usuals here, it's of no consequence). I passed a magazine aisle and a blazing red cover caught my eye. On it was a woman, torso only. dressed in a slinky black bathing suit top.... what does a sick guy do when he needs food, he thinks of boobs, I looked at the boobs and thought to myself I would like to squeeze'em. I realize it's only a magazine but I seriously thought of squeezing boobs anyway. Feverish boobie squeezin' if you will. As I kept panning to the top of the cover I realized that it was that Megan Fox chick, I have nothing against her, although her particular expression on this cover was supposed to be some what sexy I think. In actuallity she was just licking her teeth and squinting. (in my mind add a shiny red hockey helmet to that and she could have been the gold medalist for the U.S. special olympic table tennis team). It did not look sexy, I had also considered spinach...perhaps she had just eaten a nice veggie bagel that had baby spinach on it, a leaf had gotten stuck in her teeth and the photographer [also staring at boobies] decided to just have her lick her teeth instead of loosing the valuable lighting of the moment to let her pick it out.

What's with the licking of lips and puckering up like a god damned fish these days? Hot...No, borderline hilarious....Yes, boobs....yes, boobs....No?

I'm perplexed... why to birds think seeing them lick their teeth, showing off their best Gene Simmons impression, and or pouting like a grouper think they're sexy?



I guess maybe they are, and I just don't see it. To me a sly smile and the right look goes a long way. Hell I say more power to the teeth lickers, just as long as they're wearing something that reveals their boobies. I'll get myself a red shiny hockey helmet and call it even.