Anxiety

For the past 4months I've been less Anxious than I had been since the move, and I'm feeling a lot better about life in general minus the fact that the last girl I dated was Nhu-mai and that was a distant 3yrs ago. So beit, I work vampire shift and have limited social interactions.

The one interaction I have with another being on a daily basis (in personification only is the Frankensteiner, My faithful Toyota Tacoma) I named it the frankensteiner three years ago when I decided to Cowboy up and get rid of the little shit beater car of mine. I purchased said truck on Halloween hence what I thought to be the main reason for the naming.

It turns out that the name fits rather well, after paying in the low 20k's for the truck I have since put 10k of upkeep and maintenance into it. There are parts from every conceivable stock place in the friggin North country. Basically, the engine proper, and the bed of the truck have been without work. Frankensteined together with mechanic love and most of my paychecks.

The Christmas season is upon us, and it hasn't been too stressful for me, I do the uncle Bob thing, and I have a relatively small nuclear family to find gifts for...no biggy. I have to work Xmas Eve and Xmas Day...I can deal. Today, the only thing I spend my hard earned money on, was cold. Jilted G-friend cold: like after causing a scene at the lady's 'rents place discussing stinky feet and bowel movements, not of a child of neice or nehpew but those of you yourself. Cold like sleep on the couch Cold. Frankie wasn't cold when I got in to go to work, but when I got to work all of 5minutes later, the fan for the heater sputtered, gagged, and basically told me to go F-myself. I gathered no matter how many times you snap that little fan lever back and worth, once it's out it's out, thn I tried again for 15minutes.

I am now faced with Xmas, and yet another truck repair. I'd trade Frankie for a different vehicle...but I'm too far along in the payments to just give it away, and the mileage is too high to get a decent trade in. My anxiety level jumped from flatline to an A-rhythmic rheumatic pulse of the irregular variety.

Stress isn't involved in my current job it's quite the opposite, my life is plain and simple albeit solitary for te most part, but every so often..something happens that makes me grind my teeth in my sleep. I give my current state of Blah 2days before I have to have a filling replaced, or a tooth rebuilt. I hope that the Ape I bring it to has small paws and not elephantitus of the fists, for when he balls it up and tries to stick it in my butt...

Thanks Frankie, no more automatic carwash for you and you're probably gonna be stuck with me until you're axle falls off, again.