Today's Randomness

Todays randomness is brought to you by a trip to Walmart, the word peregrination \pair-uh-gruh-NAY-shun\noun: an excursion especially on foot or to a foreign country : journey, and the number 2874.

Everytime I venture into the uncharted aisles of "everyday item goodness" I find myself in a 3rd world country inhabited by people of unknown origin whom can only be classified by their manner of dress.

There's members of the High Court of Sweatpantopia
The Urchins from Baggypant Isle
The Cyborgs from the Planet FatScooter
The Mullet Warriors from Trailer 92
The Norms
The Hunter Gathers.... etc

And mixed throughout the masses are their demon spawn, I read not too long ago about an old man in a Walmart far far away that took it upon himself to liberally smack one of these creatures (which wasn't one of his own ilk). I never had the inkling myself. Until today....

Bartering in a checkout line should be outlawed, more so when you have 3 demons crawling in and about the shopping cart, on shelving, in and out of other peoples legs, demons that are throwing impulse items on the conveyor belt, opening and closing beverage coolers, dropping beverages on the floor from said coolers. Those that are whining for McDonalds food and screaming just loud enough to pierce an eardrum should you be within say; I don't know,4ft of them.

It takes a lot to rattle me into evil thoughts, I at one point imagined that my boot was clearly lodged in one of the demons asses. (I chuckled outloud). The caretaker for these devilish little monsters would have had a much easier time if she'd decided that the outing would have benefited from a cattle prod or two.

When I was a child, a backhand would have straightened me out, in fact the stink eye prior to a backhand would have squashed every and all thought of misbehaving in public. I guess a "TimeOut" doesn't have the same effect.

Landmine Croquet

If you've never heard of it before I'll fill you in with pics and a color commentary after the weekend. More specifically Monday because the Croquet Tournament in on Saturday and I already burned a vacation day for Sunday. It involves Beer and Croquet, a bunch of food and a few ridiculous College buddies with a healthy appetite for crazy.

At one point I was hosting between 12-18 people for the weekend of Beer,BBQ,and Games. Now it seems like 10 is the number. That doesn't include the people just stopping by for a burger though. I'm looking forward to it.