Thursday, January 31, 2008

Off til sunday

Off til Sunday,

Remember the 31st is yad sdrawkcaB lanoitaN, and Feb 1st you get a double whammy, it's Skippy Peanut Butter's(1933) and also Dog the Bounty Hunter's (WTF you lookin at) B-days. If ya got a pipe... may as well smoke it.

IF ONLY CHUCK NORRIS WAS THIS F'n COOL! (when and if chuck reads this I hope he warns me before he thinks about kicking my melon off, just the thought would put me in the hospital, praying to my false Gods and then weeping for his mercy)

The Oasis is celebrating "Don't have shit to do week" until returning to miss the Superbowl and fester in the office.


Wednesday, January 30, 2008


It's soon approaching the time when Valentine's Day rears it's ugly head and makes the single people of the world wonder why it's a holiday to begin with. I've decided to put myself out there. Not in an Eharmony sort of way, but something I guess a bit similar. I'll be manipulating various images up to an including the Big day and posting them as often as I can design them with any sort of competence. Without further adieu...

Any of you byrds out there that would like to hatch out dinner plans with yours truly... just make sure that you're a Born Free Range sort of chick. I'm not accepting any wild and crazy caged fowl.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


30minutes left in a 12hr shift......

I'm buyin' a lottery ticket tommorrow and with my winnings I'm gettin me an Ostrich.

Sunday, January 27, 2008


....Planet Earth, Lil Mac, D, K, Blue, Highland Park, Princess crowns, Laz, Jarlesburg, candle wax, gesso, 106.5, 4 weeks of laundry, new supplies, and a bit of creativity. Life gets infinitely brighter when a 2yr old gives you a noogie.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Until Sunday.....

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

And when one gets bored?

Budweiser and a Dream

Another day.

Another day another donut. Tommorrow I wake in the "AM" and start the new workout schedule sans the smokes that I mysteriously found by the pack-load in my stuff. I've already started the healthy diet thing..and have half the motivation.... Is it stupid to go for a jog in the cold with a cup of nice hot coffee? Yeah, I guess it is, so..plans have changed. I'll be waking up at the normal afternoonish hour, killing a few hours and rolling back to the office when it's deemed necessary by the paycheck overlords. I'll get my fuzzy white ass in shape after the weekend.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Got this via cam-phone

And it's good to see the Monstu is still up to his old tricks...(<=read, I really really want one of my own) just to try it out and drop off the face of the earth in a fruity O.E. 800 sort of way. Who says you have to be a snooty cock-knocker when faced with the fact that you live on the wrong coast. An O.E. Martini if you will, gets you off the high horse. I send my reply to the Monstu Friday at 4pm...just about the time he's thinking "well, I really don't want to be at work anymore and happy hour is a forever 3hrs away."

Say what again!

I WILL LIGHT YOU ON FIRE!!! Then maybe I'll bake you some cookies.... but you're gonna burn first.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Grampa Stan

Over the past weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with some folks I haven't really been able to catch up with for a fairly expansive amount of time. I can definitely say that it was a productive drunk. Housing way too many oatsodas and slingin paint. S, R and myself got thoroughly pickled and at 5am decided that it was time to get creative. We triple teamed / tag teamed 4 canvii and damn was it fun. I'll try to post the crappy cam-phone pics when I have another free moment. R has a project kicking around that involves historical family photos, and possibly momentos from her Grand fathers legacy. I've attached a pic of Grampa Stan.... "I have respect for this man, whom I've never met, and it all stems from the fact that he has an aura of I don't know what, but it's there"

Since getting Frank back from the garage it was high time to try out the new parts. I didn't want to scream to Boston and have the possibility of breaking down on a 4hr one way trip, so I halved it an hit the road for an hr and a half to New Fairfield CT.

Upon my return trip...after catching a few hours of shut eye, I rose at was dark. I headed back to the 'Dirt to rondesvous at Gonzo's place for the Jones Jr. Trinidad fight payper view. SO I put on my night blinders (ok, I never take them off, my eyes are bad in th dark) and decided to somehow make a few wrong turns. It took almost twice as long to get home as it did to get there, but it was relatively painless once I hit a main thoroughfare. I arrived home and had enough time to shower, pick up a party platter and some suds, and get to fight night.

Over the course of the weekend I do believe that I had some of the tastiest foods I've scarfed down in months. Ribs, smashed tatters, homemade stew, today I powerhoused a homemade breakfast. If food were free, I'd balloon for sure but as it is a treat every now and then ain't half bad.

"If you're born a circle, you can't die a square"

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Uncomfortable male

Standing at the urinal doing my business, a co-worker arrives next door, no buffer urinal, right next door (uncomfortable), tries to chat (uncomfortable), he starts whizzing like he's eating a delicious blueberry muffin; Mmmmm Ahhhh, Mmmmm, mmmmm ........(super uncomfortable). I stopped midstream; tucked away the junk and left, then returned to an empty urinal row a few moments later when the blueberry waterfall wasn't around to finish my business. Strange? nah...just wicked uncomfortable. Urinal Etiquette should be in the copy of "A Dude's Handbook to Being Socially Blase' ".

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Monday, January 14, 2008

Toyota Commercials

I've had the chance to see a few TV Commercials in the past weeks and I don't get it. There are numerous versions of great ads for a Toyota Tacoma braving danger and coming out unscathed. "Driving off cliffs and surviving", "Barrelrolling down hills to land on their wheels and come away unharmed." I think I have the slow kid of the bunch.

It was mentioned to me by the great Gonzo that I should try to make my own commercial. Only instead of trying to survive a cliff dive, try to destroy my vehicle. If the motto of the company holds true and my particular vehicle takes off its shiny red hockey helmet I could be driving it 4-EVAR. Just imagine, screaming toward a cliff, just me and my Toyota...Me wearing a flight helmet, (flight of the Valkyries blaring in the background) my truck leaking fuel in fear.... .......ooooooooooh ....... I'd never make it to the cliff because the truck would break down and I'd have to get a tow-truck to ferry us into the abyss. So much for that idea.

May be in the future

Yet another resume goes out the door for a possible Curatorial position. Although it may not be in the visual arts speifically I think the experience with the three curators will be invaluable. The experimental new media and technological aspect of EMPAC is something that fascinates me to no end. Check out their 360 degree movie screen traveling exhibit. Whoa!? Music Modern dance and technology as art....yeah!!!

Waiting patiently for the "no" letter in the mail.

Sunday, January 13, 2008


Whom? who? ever coined the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff.... it's all small stuff" should have been a better known philisophizer. And/or been made to stand in front of a speeding bus holding a 50gallon bag of thumb tacks. That way he/she could pony up the "it's all small stuff" should he/she survive getting run over. 50gallon bags of thumb tacks stuck all over him/her and all. I'm still waiting to hear the damage report that my bank account will be filing with regard to the Frankensteiner. I'm driving a soccermom minivan in the mean time and putting doylies under my free standing table light fixtures to round out the effects produced by said Emasculator. Oh...Oh, and baking some cookies while I'm at it, with rainbow sprinkles.

Just kidding, I've got a loaner from the folks while the home garage takes care of ol' Frank. The Funtruck Booze Cruz will be on hiatus again pending the damage report. It looks as if a 1000 clams may be the final extent but I'm not sweating it. The pantry is stocked and I have Scotch, I'm still working, and I don't have any dependents to worry about. It just sucks that the breakdowns seem to coincide with important rondevouseseses. HAPPY 30th B-day Rachel hope the weekend treated you in spectacular fashion, Sorry I wasn't able to make the trip.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I was mistaken

NOt a was the rack, or if you prefer 1/2 of the rack and pinion steering. $1G don't mind if I do.....

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Off til sunday

Friday and Saturday off, Highland Park 15 and MaCallan 12, black gesso... 2 panels, Spam-a-lot...truck fixin, maybe get it back and some travelin' maybe not. Gesso and Scotch potent mix with the possibility of ruining the couch that ties the room together.

While I'm at it

SO supposedly, prominent people of the basic hollywood variety are pitching and yapping about going green. Save the environment, do this do what ever you can to save the poor polar bears that are drowning (polar bears can swim... if a bear goes out into the ocean too far, it's darwin rule that he doesn't make it back... it's too cold for polar bear eating sharks up there) So getting back to my perplexion. Hollywood stars and what not are yiping about being good to the environment.... here's my question for them. "Where is your re-usable travel coffee mug, you latte/coffee/expresso chuggin morons?" How many times do I have to see a starbucks paper cup with plastic lid being carried. They may recycle!? But a tree died for the recycled paper in the first place, and you're adding to the emissions of garbage trucks hauling the refuse away a second time. If you want to preach green, green yourself, green it for real. Take your millions of dollars and buy yourself a designer mug for that oh so insanely high priced 10bones.

And also, if you want to be a PETA monkey and preach about animals and their rights... take off your Nice leather belt F*cktard and stop wearing shoes hyp·o·crite, walk around in something else that is less than green and or recycled from used rubber trees.

Just for the record I'm writing myself in for President and "I like animals because they taste good". Moooooooo bitches!


At what point do you lose all respect for others? When does your brain switch from decent to prick? I know... for I have seen it first hand. Here's a little tale from my nutsack.

The Frank is now resting comfortably at a mechanic that has assured me that he'll be up and running sooner rather than later with a newly aligned set of wheels and brand spankin new tie-rods. Bully for Frank I may just keep his ass around after all. I digress, I dropped off the truck, walked some errands (drop off truck, bank, food, and coffee) then headed to work. I was walking across the bridge and a here's where I witnessed the exact point. This particular bridge has no sidewalk so pedestrians are relegated to a fairly wide shoulder. The guard rails are about shoulder height. Me being 6'1" and wearing my trail running shoes 6'3"ish. So the guard rail is about 5 and 1/2 ft tall. I was a highjumper in highschool and my PR was 6'10... no small feat getting your ass up in the air that far or brushing the bottom of a basketball net with your junk. The guard rail didn't have a mat on the other was a 60ft drop to frigid post sewage treatment water. A Union College student (I know now because of the bumper sticker) decided it would be funny to swerve toward the lone pedestrial on the bridge.. no rhyme or reason...just for kicks. He didn't have an evil look in his eyes, but did have a smirk on his face. Prick through and through. I can honstly say that the Betty riding shotgun thought the same as I did when it happened, and at the precise moment she decided to let him know the err of his ways : the extent of his prickedness, by starting to scream at him was also the precise moment that a steaming hot 20oz. cup of coffee hit his windshield. He missed me by a good 3inches. All these measurements really have no correlation, but 3 inches was better that 5 1/2' + 60' to cold wet soggy pants. I didn't have the chance to ask if he enjoyed the coffee because he didn't stop... it's too bad because I recently adopted the don't give a F attitude and maybe he could have had soggy pants. Either he didn't stop because he feared the reaper...or he likes apples.

Thank you douche bag for refreshing my faithlessness in human beings in general.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Tie-died rods

The Frankensteiner....yeah. Last night after my post about spilled soggy peanuts, I was on my way home from work @ 3AM, I lost a tie-rod crossing the only bridge between work and lies approximately 1/2 way to my apt. (i.e. 3/4 of a mile from here) Something in me snapped as well. And despite my overwhelming urge to take the old guy over the side of the bridge and peace out Dukes of Hazzard style, I over corrected and made good use of the entire bridge to stop without tatooing any standing metal support. Hair-trigger today? Yes, depressed to an extent? Yes, Unhappy with the fact that no matter how I steer my karmic life toward good- something always kicks me in the dick? YeS I AM. Tommorrow starts the life of SHAGZ DON't GIVE A F*CK, self centered, prickish me, me, me.... here I come.

I just need a new vehicle to get me started down the road to *sshole-ishness.

If it's not one thing it's another...I'm over it.

Sorry Frank.... that's the last straw. I'm getting a sub-compact hybrid, testosteroneless, sallypants set of wheels and you're headed to the chopshop.

a day in the day of a day

On a bad day, it would fall out of the sky glance off your new glasses; spill half its contents in your lap, on its way to emptying itself in your favorite bowl of peanuts and then careen violently into the side of said bowl relegating your newly dampened peanuts to a new home, either on the floor or your soggy lap.

Mysterious ways HIS omnipotence shows his affection, mysterious ways.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Something is a Foot...!?.

Yes.. I believe something is afoot

Yup there it is... something is definitely a foot a backwards sort of way!?

"I LOVE SPAM" a lot!

Monday, January 7, 2008

The Con list

If ever the view from my balcony rivals this, it's time to move post haste.

Working for the current place of employ I've made it a point; not in a vendictive sort of way, to produce a pro and con list. As it stands the cons far out way the pros and it's only a matter of time until there's another venue that offers me $0.01 more a year and I take that position whereever it is in the country. The resumes' are still flying and I'm in a business funk. (My pseudo-alter ego at work happens to be Rob) So at somepoint Rob will be venturing out to another glorious jobby job that has nothing to do with the 4 pieces of paper that SUNY Potsdam gave me 7yrs ago.

Today I'd like to add a con to the list and tell you alittle bit about it. It has nothing to do with the umpteen things that have been lumped onto my "vague at best" job description. It has to do with the physical work environment. Working nights aside, there is a treatment facility just over the hill and on occasion..... the smell of 60,000+ people's fecal waste matter permeates the building. Today it's made it onto the Con list. By merely walking into the building, having the smell pumped through the ducts, has caused me to gag, throw-up a little in my mouth and basically has caused an unease in my being. IT WREAKS. Somedays it's a tolerable whafting, others it's a bit oppressive, today.... it's vomitous, the fecal coliforms of god knows who or what is driving directly into my lungs and making the work place environment unbearable. Ripe is not the word, it borders on newborn diaper to the power of 35. 8 ginormous tanks of shit waiting to be treated and dumped into the Mohawk River are no further than I can drive a golf ball from where my truck is parked in the back lot right now. If the stench had a green tint there would be a neon green fog thick enough to cut with a knife. SO...Con number 24 as opposed to Pro number 4 has been added to the list.

Luckily the smell is like crime, it doesn't cross running water, I think it has something to do with air density, (the shitsmell, not the crime) although in both cases it doesn't make it over the bridge to my apartment 1.5 miles away. If it had, or ever does... my savings account and the unemployment I receive after making a complete ass of myself and getting fired will be enough cash to leave this stench for good.

Sunday, January 6, 2008 was one of those

I seriously doubt that my downstrairs neighbor has the gumption nor the know how to work these new fangled readin boxes, but In the spirit of feeling poorly about my actions I'll offer an apology here to make my soul feel a little better. (Sorry Mr. B) This weekend was going to be a quite weekend at home, trying to stay out of trouble, get another painting out of the way in the attempt to sling my wears to galleries at somepoint in the next ten of so years. Dinner, a Waldo sighting, a few bottles of Gin and some blue lead based oil paint can do strange things to a persons mind. Needless to say I believe that Mr.B down strairs may have taken the brunt of a thunder-stompin' good time. I'll post a BW pic from the Friday craziness after the post. The color version is frighteningly ...uh, frightening.

Sat. Gonzo had dinner at his place with a bunch of folks I haven't seen in a long time and I ventured over there only to receive a peaty belated Xmas pres. of the MacCallan 12yr old lowland goodness. We caught the wildcard games, and I returned home to sample the goods.

This coming weekend, I have a rondezvous with Spam-a-lot to wait for....

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Down in a hole Happy Hour

Happy Hour @ the Oasis 5-9pm. January 4th. "Bob's Cookin Show", beverages, To the Lighthouse, The Grogge Show, The Ditch, and ending at PinHead's.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

It's about time

It's been snowy/icy for quite sometime now, and it was just about time for them to play a part in my life. As I was leaving my apartment today for the grand olde Gaz; I stepped gingerly onto the sidewalk, toting my coffee and dinner... I felt a slight unease. Before I knew it. I was ass up rolling in a snowbank after just bouncing my spine off my building's front steps. Years of college had prepared me for just such a fall and I neither spilled my coffee nor tossed my dinner. I did however create a nasty kink in my back and am having a hell of a time functioning properly. Sitting, standing, bending, thinking, and generally working at all. Good times. At least I still had a great cup of coffee and that's all that matters right!?

Tonight it's the tooth and nail Vacation-day lottery...or well, it's the rest of my co-workers time to hash out their differences and make the schedule for the upcoming year. Me... still low man on the totem and I'll pick up the scraps.(which probably means another round of Xmas and NYE working bouts with a few days inbetween). Pretty psyched, you bet!...the coffee even better.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

I sit here on the second day of working in 2008, last night being the first overnight shift that I got to ring in the new year with. Yeeeehaw! Instead of staying put where I was and enjoying a night of libation and good company I decided to trek back to the homestead and actually work my scheduled shift. More because, I didn't want to screw over a co-worker and had I not shown up...he would have gotten the olde butt-whammy in a not so pleasent hardcore sort of way. Apparently as much as I feel I would like to peace out of the work environment I'm currently tolerating....that whole stability thing gets in the way and without a viable next step in the career I'm going to have to fester where I'm at.

New Year resolutions are a handy way to let yourself down two weeks in advance of failing with them....but I'm going to practice them just the same. 1.) I quit happened as soon as I left the Vinnie's party palace, why not...maybe healthy is a good thing. 2.) The mop is coming off and it's going to travel to the good folks at Locks of Love...(I still have to get that on tap, and schedule it before I fail miserably.) 3. I'm not going to call anyone an Ass-Clown for 1yr. it's degradingly hilarious and sometimes we have to give up what we can to make the world a better place ass clownery aside I think I could do without it. 4.) Time to take better care of myself, first order of business, new specs. I've been wearing the same glasses for 6yrs and I'm getting used to being failry blind...I'm changing that soon. then on to the physical aspect fo health..there are too many outlets for self destruction and I need to rid myself of at least 2bad habits, the first is #1. the second is sleeping...not just catching a cat nap, I think that's ok...I mean really sleeping, I can generally put in a good 13hrs before I feel totally rested. I don't think that is healthy so...8hrs max is the way I'm leaning.

There are more places that I should look to better myself, and unfortunately A New Year resolution is just the way for me to kick myself in the "ass" and stop being a "clown" (<=that doesn't count)

I'd like to thank Vinnie for being a great host this past weekend and it was awesome to see everyone that rolled in for the festivities. This Friday or Saturday I'm chillin with Waldo that should be a riot as well.

Happy New Year everyone!