Friday, March 30, 2007

T-minus 10min...

T-minus 10 minutes to roadtrip.......9minutes.......8.... "Where the "F" is major Tom?"....7,6......

Warm up the Funtruck


Be back Sunday with more interesting tales about nothing.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


"It's kind of odd about women," he went on, "and the place they're supposed to occupy in botany. If was asked to classify them I'd say they was a human loco weed" The Lonesome Road, ~ O. Henry

There are many species of Astragalus, and some of them are very hard to differentiate. A common one on the Wasatch foothills is Astragalus utahensis, also called the Pink Lady Slipper. Many of these are addictive and poisonous to livestock, causing an incurable insanity. They are called "loco weeds", from a Spanish word meaning "crazy".

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

And thennnn.........

I was searching the Intarweb today and saw a post from Miss Kate. It involved some supermarket flirtation and whatnot. I had to know add my $0.02 in the comments. And then it got me thinkin' of a strange dream of the perfect fantasy woman I had a number of years ago... it hinged on my ideal lady and a darker side of stupidty that I thought you would find remotely humorous. It follows unabridged as an example of a random thought in my head.

My Moon Goddess and eventually the woman I will no doubt spend the rest o my life with is a "beautiful person" (that's personality wise and not physically <=shallowness factor disclaimer) who isn't afraid to stand in the sunlight of a open bay window allowing the gentle breeze to flutter her flowing white linen garments elevating her closer to a spritely semi-dream like apparition. And then at the same time wouldn't be opposed to walking into a dark candle lit room wearing thigh-high black vinyl 6in stelettos, carrying a whip, and a bag of dog treats. Why you ask...I haven't the foggiest clue. Thus far in my professional career as a not so politically correct bachelor guy...I've seen neither.

Living Sch'dirt it's next to impossible to run into any woman ready to don the garb and let it rip. If I had the 5G's for an Escort service or wanted to partake in one of the local Canadian Ballets (strip clubs)...perhaps. I don't have 5K...and I'm not a fan of the Ballet. I'm also ramping up on my Cyprido-Cyclophobia as of late with increased sightings.

Someday I'll grow up....someday.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Todays Randomness

Todays Randomness is brought to you by: Remote car starters, the word: su·per·flu·ous Pronunciation: su-'p&r-flü-&s
Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English, from Latin superfluus, literally, running over, from superfluere to overflow, from super- + fluere to flow -- more at FLUID 1 a : exceeding what is sufficient or necessary : EXTRA b : not needed : UNNECESSARY 2 obsolete : marked by wastefulness : EXTRAVAGANT, and the number ANK7807

Monday, March 26, 2007, well Waltham

Roadtrip Friday... 0300. Waltham Mass keep yor head down, I'm comin' in hot 5x5 in the pipe heading 6-2 9'er. Enroute with the visor down, locked, and loaded - ETA 0630. (insert=>Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries"). Can't wait to touch down at F.O.B. TIMMY Zulu and refuel, hit the rack, and then Charlie Mike 1700. "quit yer grinnin' and drop yer linen"

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Apartment Hunters Guide to the Universe

I've been in the process of looking for a new place to call home given that the Fishbowl lost is novelty the second I slept there for the first time, and the 1yr lease is soon to run out. There are too many factors to keep in mind all at the same time being the disorganized monkey I am It's hard to keep all my ducks in a row. (I just created a great run-on sentence with both Ducks and Monkies. That could be the most profound thing I've done all weekend)

After searching relentlessly for the last month I found a place that is a bit of a commute, that has charm, ample space and little to no extra rent involved. (same rent actually) It's in South Glens Falls, a 35/40minute commute from the Gazette, 20 min from Togatown and basically right at exit 17 of the Northway. Easy access to the highway....most of my family within a short distance. My folks are exstatic.....and I could deal with the commute. I'm going to try to keep my options open and not commit right away, but a 1br place with a walk in closet the size of half a bowling appliances, new kitchen...a bathroom with both window and ceiling vent, central air, (quiet neighbors...three apartments in the building I would occupy one end apartment, the central apartment is vacant owing to the property purchase stipulations leaving it open for a snowbird in the event that she wants to return from FL. anytime in the next two years, the third apartment 30yds away would have a family with two children...not a big deal). I believe that heat would be included in the rent...and I would have to work out the rest of the utils myself...but that's no big whoop. It has ample wall space and an alcove in the design that could double for a open studio space if I gave up on the whole idea of having a full sized dining room set for the likes of me the single guy who hasn't entertained in 10yrs. hmmmm?!

I'm pretty much sold but If a place opens in the Ballston Lake area, Saratoga Lake front, or Toga-town which is closer and allows pets...I could easily be swayed from the almost perfect set up. I'm thinking the commute would suck, but for the price and availablility to highway's pretty damn good. We'll see. I still have until June 1st for my lease to run out, I'm thinking I'll end up moving in May and doubling the rent aspect to allow for a leisurely move but that's not set in stone.

If I do move to SGF dinner party at my place on Saratoga Racing's Opening day after busting on the ponies and the twenty minute return trip. Sans the dining room table of course.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Todays Randomness

Todays Randomness is brought to you by MacDermid, Printing Solutions; printing plates, the word LACERATION, lac·er·a·tion
Pronunciation: "la-s&-'rA-sh&n" Function: noun 1 : the act of lacerating 2 : a torn and ragged wound.... and lot number 6056110764 Plate #no. 14 of 30

Just call me Shagz Von ClumsyOaf: Once again I've ruined a great pair of pants dropping razor share metal...If a Power Rangers bandaide could fix this I would be suprised. First Aide McGoo?......butterfly it STAT

A "Real" Mom

By definition it is close impossible to state with hard incriminatingly speculative inferences what a Real mom just might be.

That may sound a bit off, and it is..."I AM in fact not a Real Mom"...I have neither given birth nor have I kept a Goldfish alive in my fishbowl for longer than two weeks...I think that they just didn't get enough light, miracle grow, and/or I didn't water them regularly.

I do on the other hand have a Mom...which I think can be defined as one who passed the point of Mother the same way that a Dad surpasses Father. Anyone can Mother or Father a child it takes caring and understanding individuals to constitute Mommys and Daddys. They have to play the game of rearing children with way too many factors to keep in mind and try to keep the little rug rats from wandering off the straight and narrow. Be forgiving to minor indiscretions, yet dole out heavy handed love when faced with obstinent freakeshly poor behavior. My Moms was not a fan of the timeout chair...and I thank her for her use of wooden stirring implements in fostering the proper behavior from me as I was growing up to be the hellian that we all know and love. That's not to say that she was always "Mommy Dearest-ing me". It was a rare occurance and today I say please and thankyou, pride myself on being chivalrous, and act like a gentleman when and if at all possible. She was funny , wise, and most importantly human. She was loving enough to let me make mistakes and then came to the rescue with solutions to the predicaments I landed myself in. She let me be an individual, and at the same time made sure I didin't lose track of our little nuclear and extended kinship.

Ever stick your tongue out at your step father while riding in the backseat of the Buick Skylark, because he said something that you thought was a dick thing to say; while traveling down the highway at a fair clip, only to realize that Real Moms are all-knowing and ready with an immediate response even though they seem to be not paying attention at all? I haven't stuck my tongue out at anyone for 24yrs, not because I lack the physical educational smack let me know when I was 7 yrs old that it wasn't correct way to express my thoughts. We don't see eye to eye on everything in life, but we have been able to adapt.

That I think is the main ingredient in building proper Real momitude..adaptation, try to define it as precisely as you want and make lists upon lists of pros/cons, goods/bads, and do's/don'ts...but the main focus is Adaptablity. Making due with available resources and adapt to make a childs life what you feel is the proper life to live, no matter what that may be. (You moms out there get to chose whether you're REAL or not) And if you chose 'not real' for yourself =>Adopt your kids out, or smarten the hell up and get to REAL Mom'in. Look in a mirror and pass your judgement ASAP.

That being said... I just called my Real Mom-dukes, and we're having dinner tommorrow. I'm going to thank her for making me a real man. THAT'S ANOTHER TOPIC, EH? What makes a proper Real Man? My vote.... one that was raised by my Mom.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Newspaper death squad

It's inconceivable, inconceivable! that the paper route delivery person whom has been faithfully bringing a paper to my place for the last 6months, has yet to be, even an inch off target with respect to the only/any puddle of standing water within between 4inches and 20 ft of my mail box. Now if this person were say a golfer... I would say that, that would translate into a 99% chance of hole in ones; scoring 18 on a par 72 course 7miles long -hitting the ball blindfolded, after spinning around a bat for 60seconds and being liberally pummeled about the head and shoulders by a gorilla with elephantitus of the fists in his/her backswing.

I applaud his/her focus and dexterity with this matter. Unfortunately as many of you newspaper readers know...there' nothing more useless than a soaked folded newspaper. I really should't complain because I basically read the paper cover to cover prior to delivery every evening as the last in a chain of editing overwatch monkeys. So I guess it means that I'm jst killing trees, I really don't need the paper delivered to my puddles...I've already read it. I'm just too lazy to cancel the free is free after all. You won't see too many people turning down anything that is free be it a beer, or a liberal dose of free religious door to door banter...well at least I don't. Free cracker sample at the Supermarket, don't mind if I do!

Tonight...I'm going to return home and wait vigilantly for the paper delivery person to approach my place, door unlocked, lights out, all stealthy like ready to pounce....when they sling/fling/toss or find someother way to send the paper at my standing water..I'm going to throw open the door catch that paper scream "I win" and return to my humble fishbowl....unassuming unnecessary horrificatory victory will be mine. Maybe I'll throw it back at them....wouldn't that be a treat in the mundane evening of a paper delivery person?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Sun is out

The sun is out, and I was able to stand it today for a few hours... I'm looking forward to changing my life schedule in the near future with the new place (somewhere) and a healthier outlook as well as diet and exercise regiment. I'm ready to quit smoking again for the thousandth time and I'm going to buy some bowling shoes, jello, and a giant black Sharpie.
My new dreams of a different life stemmed from the crossword puzzle in todays paper. I was able to finish that sucker in 3minutes. Bully for me, I am so SMRT. Some people knit, some play video games, I read and do the crossword [Jeopardy is on when I work and I don't have cable, "The Penis Mighter- you're sitting on a gold mine Trebeck!"]

Todays randomness has yet to present itself to me...stay tuned for an update later in the evening.

Monday, March 19, 2007


All I can think of to say right now is ....."FUCK THAT NOISE". (<=insert diabolical type evil demon image and nuclear fallout)

Sunday, March 18, 2007


Somedays it's good to have an anthem.

Lazy Weekend

St. Patty's Day was a bust. Although Friday evening I a couple of 18 or so beers and shoveled. Irving my neighbor and I had a good laugh when I stumbled into a snow bank while cleaning off his side of the cement slab we share as a front porch. Saturday I woke early for me, made the super-breakfast and then shoveled...I ventured to Katie O'Bryen's, Pinhead Susan's, the Union Inn and a few other joints but couldn't get into the spirit with nothing but strangers surrounding me. It's Tough to be the jackass when facing crowded rooms of unknowns. (alas no Irish step dancing for this guy) So I retired from the fight early and relaxed in the fishbowl for the remainder of the afternoon. As much as I enjoy my own company...I wear on my nerves after 8 hrs of being cooped up with me. I can't imagine how terrible it is for folks I usually hang out with on a regular basis to put up with my bullshit.
I'm getting old I guess.....I'm set in my ways and I haven't the energy or the focus to change my poor habits and elevate myself past societal inapropriateness. It's time to re-evaluate it all again and make the proverbial pro/con list of my life.
[dun, dun, duhhh.......]

Thursday, March 15, 2007


That pretty much cements my plans for the St. Patrick's Holiday celebration. I doubt I'll be traveling to anywhere exotic. SO....for those of you in the Capital Region, Saratoga Spring, and the millions of fans watching around the world....Let's get ready to BummmmmmmBLE!! Stagger lurch trip stumble and fall style here in teh area for the drunk'en-ist, rowdiest throw down in snowy weather.

Keep your eyes open for the Asshole wearing the green flight helmet,w/ the gianormous shamrock painted on it. I'm lacin' up my hip waders and heading into the fray...Riverdance that sucker, YeAH! Way to go Mav......

If you happen to see me feel free to stop and say hello...I'm sure all will be in good spirits. Guinnessessesesese and all. I'm hopin' to find Murphey's Irish Stout on tap somewhere but don't think they have that particular libationary treat north of NYC.

Corned beef hash omlette, a pound of bacon, two everything bagels, potatoes, a banger or two and then It's stuffed out the door for this guy @ 9am Saturday to brave the storm.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

That's "F'in" Bananas

When Cincinati Based Fruit import and conglomerate company Chikita decided to pay terrorists to proctect bananas....I almost fell out of my chair. When the CEO and higher ups had to "Dole" out out millions of dollars in fines.... HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA
?Como Se Dice' "Stick'em up pardner, I gots a loaded Banana" en Espanol?

St. Patty's DAY

I've no plans, and for that I've been kicking myself in the junk. I haven't really done the College St. Drunkys day in a number of years, and although I would enjoy getting up at the ass crack of dawn, or maybe just not going to sleep to get drunk with a bunch of strangers in downtown 'Dirt... I can only see ruffians and hooliganry making itself known around nooner and that I don't want to be part of. =>Imaging a random drunken question: Whatchu you lookin at foo' ?....ME: spirit fingers and Riverdance Beeatch!
I may have a few in the mid-afternoon while swimming in my fishbowl. What I would like to do is fly my ass to California for the weekend, to attend the get together of the Monstu and his 50gallons of homebrewfest for the St. Patrick's celebration in Aptos. Funding and an over all malaise will keep me from accomplishing that.
I'm close enough to the City Center to actually sit out on my concrete slab and get dripped on by the porch of my upstairs neighbor, and listen to the wailings and the fiddle playing.... Next year I'll be living in a better place and will be within walking distance of the nightlife of block and all the 'Glass has to offer, 365days a year, the cute Irish Bartender Maggie O'. She may be in her late 30's, have I mentioned before that when a lady slides you a pint and then says "tank ya love" mopping up the tip it's heaven. (She's actually a little bulldog lookin thing, but the accent elevates her)
T-minus 3days and counting

Monday, March 12, 2007


Spring is just about here, and is threatening at the door. It was a beautiful day today in the 'Dirt which makes me a bit sad. Here's how my day broke down prior to coming to work. I woke up at the unheard of hour for me called 10am, not because I needed to get outside and be in the sun, not because I was ready to go out and be part of society...I woke up because it was too bright in my place to stay sleeping. I eventually looked out into the blinding sun, closed the blinds snaked a winter wool hat on my head covering my eyes and eventually ventured back to sleep land.

My supervisor is headed to FL for two weeks and that means that as the second in command [from 2-3am] I get to stay later even, to make sure that everything runs fine. That means that I'll be picking up OT, but won't be leaving work until 4/5am....then there's the sun to deal with. I'll be tossing and turning for 2weeks if the conditions stay the same.
I've tried my damnedist to work my internal clock back to waking around 11am, with no luck.(1:30-2pm standard) I'm hoping that the sun will go away, letting me sleep later or I'm outfitting my place in black and hanging tarpaper over the inside of my windows, at that point I bleach my skin to Micheal Jackson white...goth out, and get my teeth molded for elongated canines. To cap it rings, every finger both hands.....hiss at people on the street, and drink nothing but red wine (I'll take iron suppliments).
It's brutal working evenings. =>Starts crying like a kid that had his favorite toy taken away..............N.O.W<=. I used to worship the sun, now I dislike it / border-line abhor it.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

No Mist

No blood mist, but I did have a tasty bagel....It's called th Apple Jack and you can only get one at the Bagelry in Potsdam NY. I'd tell you all about it, but I'm in the process of eating the 4 that made the return trip home with me.
I had a beer at Maxfields called Arrogant fit, and if you don't believe that it was great you can go F yourself, I'm great and it was great cuz I said it was great.

I'm really not in a posting mood, and its the beginning of my work week. I have to plan on a St. Patty's day something or other...I haven't got anything set in stone. That's weird for me, and SMRT I guess...I know the day will involve mass breakfast, not religious like. A dozen eggs, pounds of bacon, toast and homefries mass; if ya catch what I'm throwin'.

worst post ever

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Headed North

I decided today to head into the Great White North and take a brief respite from that which is my fantastical life of a super hero gone awry. All the wonderous and amazingly good things that I see here in the 'dirt have made me yearn for the cold wind swept fields of Sissonville Road.

I'll be taking flight after work this evening which; after a 4hr drive, will have me landing in Paradise ETA about 7:30AM. All that matters not to a superhero vampire such as myself. Night drivin' is empty road drivin'. I was again sculpting my face in oatmeal this afternoon [I guess it kinda grew on me..simple breakfast "check"] after rising from a less than helpful slumber (I think I slept from 8am-nooner), I faded into a lala-sleep-deprivation-land and had a premonition that I was going to dessimate a deer on my trip into nothing more than bloodmist. It was accompanied by thoughts of cancelling my trip and making due here in Ghettoburbia.

I fought those inklings and came up with a game plan for said animal destruction. I'll make the trip in 3hrs at top speed governed only by twisting and turning roads in the Adirondacks. If said deer should happen to cross my path I'll relish in the fact that even though the Tacoma isn't the most bad ass piece of machinery it'll no doubt hold up in the path of organics. I'm a firm believer that it'll stay together if I keep the roll over factor below 5 revolutions and there's plenty of snow padding to rest the upsidedown vehicle upon.

I've alluded to the fact that I've stocked truck provisions in the past. These are standards.
Here's the list (readily available 24/7 packed away in around under tossed into and laying on the floor): 2 icescrapers, Raod Atlas, ADK trail guide, sleeping bag rated to -40, Emergency space bag that reflects 80% of body heat, a 2 week Wilderness Medical Associates First Aid Trip kit (with SAM splint) med. supplies for 12people: i.e. the big dawg, WMA Field guide, SOAP notebook, 2 sets of extra layering and extra expedition gea( under, mid, and outerwear), 3 season tent, collapsable snow shovel, utility knife, Roadside emergency Kit, 2 Military Spec M.R.E's, 4 days of potable emergency water, one Magnesium farstarted, two true burn fire starters, Headlamp; numerous flash lights, 40ft of paracord, 4 15ft utility tiedowns, one 20ft tow strap, a 32 piece bungee cord set. 1 WAH-64 Apache AH1 flight helmet (YUP....It's in there), and all the redundant gear that I have in each of a 5day TNF expedition pack, TNF Wasatch day pack, and Mountainsmith hip, smokes, and a flask of Jack Daniels, a dozen golf balls/ tees / my old driver, hacky sack, and a picture book for tying upwards of 50 knots, slings, ascenders and other ropelike devices.

I'm ready to tattoo a deer, Dukes of Hazzard a Guard Rial (probably no freeze frame in flight) bury myself in 12ft of snow and relax for a week unseen or heard of from the road, and then climb out to TV cameras for being "That GUY", what was prepared for winter driving in the ADKs. Yeeeeeehaw. premonition of no?! I look forward to deer crossing and black ice.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Todays Randomness

Todays Randomness is brought to you by the planet formerly known as Pluto, the word calamitous - ca·lam·i·tous pronunciation: \kə-ˈla-mə-təs\ Function: adjective Date:1545: being, causing, or accompanied by calamity calamitous events, and the number just not quite big enough to cut it as a planetoid.

Here is why this is random today, a number of months back they changed the nominclature and re-designated Pluto as a non-planet. I grew up thinking that the tiny world was a planet. Ho-hum whatever. It was in a fit of insomnia this morning that I remembered when I took a trip to NH and met with W.K.E. and J. It was my first visit to their new home and E. was ecstactic as well as W. to show off her room to the pseudo-relative stranger. E. was psyched cuz there was a secret fort. W. had plotted the solar system on the ceiling and had pointed out that it was as proportionate to the room as the real solar system is to the "galaxy". I have no doubt in my mind that he being a Mathematician that he used something like
.3mm : 1,000.000.5673 miles = from here to the corner in the room and that the measurements were directly proportionate to the relative space. That's not in question.... In my fit of tossing and turning I was worried about Pluto, it was hanging from the ceiling slightly obscurred by the open being the farthest away from the center of the solar system... but it just isn't a planet anymore. I'm saddened that it's not called a planet anymore..... Yet I have hope that the Pluto gets to stay on her ceiling and that she can be proud to display it as it has been since it's discovery...a planet. Insomnia...tossing and turning; yup Randomness.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

In Ukraine, we play futbol

Todays spectacular sports footage comes from the Chernobyl Reactors...a farm team for Preimer League all star squad the Sputnik Orbits. In former Soviet Ukraine we take futbol seriously and never discriminate as to race, creed, religion or nuclear appendages.

It's cold today

When I say cold I mean cold, it's not quite Antarctic cold...but definitely "freeze your eyeball cold" (The wind is playing a huge part in the frozen eyeball trick). People in Hawaii probably won't get that. Those of us in the NorthEastern States know exactly what I mean... SO keep on surfin Hawaiianites, I'm gonna start my truck remotely and tack slowly back and forth untill I actually reach the beast on the other side of the parking lot. I feel bad for folks with small children in puffy blowing over in the wind must be are hard to catch.

Monday, March 5, 2007


I haven't had oatmeal for sometime...I mean like 26 or so years and decided to give it another go. What else is better in the midafternooner for breakfast right? I ended up grabbing the single serving packages, complete with the box that is adorned by the "pull tab here to open" little cardboard box dessimation device. The packages were small so I decided to forgoe reading the nutritional value and the serving size amounts because of famishedousness. For the relative amount of water used to moisten each individual package I was able to use 2 cups of boiling water and 6 packages of the Oatmeal. It was strawberries and cream...I know it sounds dainty but Gosh darn it I loved Frankenberry cereal when I was little and this stuff puts off the same disgustingly sweet odor. In my serving sized bowl of freshly watered gunk I found it hard not to play with my it cooled and congealed I caught myself creating sculptures....ok I made a 3D self portrait of my face in Oatmeal...sue me. After I had a liberal amount of cool and play time I decided to read the box while enjoying my breakfast. 5 bites in to my gianormous bowl of sculpture I realized why they say that one package of this stuff is healthy and good for a's filling, really filling. I bet one package would hold a Sumo wrestler over until the next meal. I'm no Sumo wrestler, but I'll be damned if a slight misjudgement in food quantity will win a battle of willpower over the likes of me. 56 sweating minutes later I had to take a powernap to regain all the energy I rolled into polishing off the left cheek of my 3D masterpiece which happened to be the last of the goop. Oatmeal....26yrs you've been away...and 26yrs it will be until I buy you again Farewell.

Have You Seen this man?

I canibalized this photo from a friends' Website without his permission and for that I apologize.

...I expect to see the court papers in the mail within the week and am ok with wearing the carrot suit and silver braclets for copywrite infringment. I have taken the time to conceal his identity as best I could to keep hoards of screaming oppressors from inundating me with requests for his exact location. Those of you who may know this gentleman are for the most part on the side of the righteous as well, and I'm sure that his absense from the east coast had gotten you in the dumps just as it did for myself. He's back now and living somewhere in New England. May his quest be unmarred by interference from the Gov't, and other doldrums keeping him down.

Poignant to the statement emblazened on his shirt I have no doubt that he will someday be able to save not only Leeroy...but all of those whom have fallen under the thumb of unrighteousness....

I fight for Freedom...I am a monkey....I am not alone..

If by chance you run into this individual I should like to request that you liberate for him a fine example of free and cold libation. I have no doubt that he'll enjoy even the nastiest of swill as long as it is accompanied by good conversation and monumentally excessive use of Sarcasm. "No really, I'm super Cereal"

Sunday, March 4, 2007


This is my 101st post. It's amazing that one person can randomly, incoherantly and unashamedly sling that much worthless filth out to the unknowing masses of the intarwebb to soak in. Keep reading my lil Drooges there will be better things coming.
Things like:

I forgot to boil the water from my recent water main break and brushed my teeth with water straight fromt the tap, they had said boil water to kill bacterii so you don't get sick. I brushed my teeth, you would think that the peroxide in the toothpaste "make'em white bullshit" would have ousted any left over germs in said water. Not so!....when you receive a warning to boil water until further notice I woud suggest that you heed said warning. There are certain rammifications that go along with unboiled water and the gastrointestinal act of correct/proper internal behavior.

Things like:

I'm finally getting sick of couch surfing, a 31yr old professional couch surfer needs to grow up a little bit. Visiting people is cool and all, but sleeping on a couch has its bad points. Namely it ain't yer bed and sleeping is next to impossible, evenings of tossing and turning get old.

Things like:

Time for a new job, being a vampire isn't all it's cracked up to be.

And so on and so forth.

Keep tuning in same bat-time same bat-channel for interesting and not so interesting updates in the life of the village idiot.