Monday, March 5, 2007


I haven't had oatmeal for sometime...I mean like 26 or so years and decided to give it another go. What else is better in the midafternooner for breakfast right? I ended up grabbing the single serving packages, complete with the box that is adorned by the "pull tab here to open" little cardboard box dessimation device. The packages were small so I decided to forgoe reading the nutritional value and the serving size amounts because of famishedousness. For the relative amount of water used to moisten each individual package I was able to use 2 cups of boiling water and 6 packages of the Oatmeal. It was strawberries and cream...I know it sounds dainty but Gosh darn it I loved Frankenberry cereal when I was little and this stuff puts off the same disgustingly sweet odor. In my serving sized bowl of freshly watered gunk I found it hard not to play with my it cooled and congealed I caught myself creating sculptures....ok I made a 3D self portrait of my face in Oatmeal...sue me. After I had a liberal amount of cool and play time I decided to read the box while enjoying my breakfast. 5 bites in to my gianormous bowl of sculpture I realized why they say that one package of this stuff is healthy and good for a's filling, really filling. I bet one package would hold a Sumo wrestler over until the next meal. I'm no Sumo wrestler, but I'll be damned if a slight misjudgement in food quantity will win a battle of willpower over the likes of me. 56 sweating minutes later I had to take a powernap to regain all the energy I rolled into polishing off the left cheek of my 3D masterpiece which happened to be the last of the goop. Oatmeal....26yrs you've been away...and 26yrs it will be until I buy you again Farewell.


Kate said...

Inquiring minds need to know:

Was the self-portrait rendered with the use of tools and hands, or with face-first spelunking into the tureen of oatmeal?

Shaggy Bob said...

I had thought about plunging my melon in the bowl of oatmealiness, but it wasn't quite large enough for my sputnik sized dome. I used a spoon to construct the major features, then had to drop the pitiful act of "chimp with tools" and dig in mano encima mano.