Thursday, March 8, 2007

Headed North

I decided today to head into the Great White North and take a brief respite from that which is my fantastical life of a super hero gone awry. All the wonderous and amazingly good things that I see here in the 'dirt have made me yearn for the cold wind swept fields of Sissonville Road.

I'll be taking flight after work this evening which; after a 4hr drive, will have me landing in Paradise ETA about 7:30AM. All that matters not to a superhero vampire such as myself. Night drivin' is empty road drivin'. I was again sculpting my face in oatmeal this afternoon [I guess it kinda grew on me..simple breakfast "check"] after rising from a less than helpful slumber (I think I slept from 8am-nooner), I faded into a lala-sleep-deprivation-land and had a premonition that I was going to dessimate a deer on my trip into nothing more than bloodmist. It was accompanied by thoughts of cancelling my trip and making due here in Ghettoburbia.

I fought those inklings and came up with a game plan for said animal destruction. I'll make the trip in 3hrs at top speed governed only by twisting and turning roads in the Adirondacks. If said deer should happen to cross my path I'll relish in the fact that even though the Tacoma isn't the most bad ass piece of machinery it'll no doubt hold up in the path of organics. I'm a firm believer that it'll stay together if I keep the roll over factor below 5 revolutions and there's plenty of snow padding to rest the upsidedown vehicle upon.

I've alluded to the fact that I've stocked truck provisions in the past. These are standards.
Here's the list (readily available 24/7 packed away in around under tossed into and laying on the floor): 2 icescrapers, Raod Atlas, ADK trail guide, sleeping bag rated to -40, Emergency space bag that reflects 80% of body heat, a 2 week Wilderness Medical Associates First Aid Trip kit (with SAM splint) med. supplies for 12people: i.e. the big dawg, WMA Field guide, SOAP notebook, 2 sets of extra layering and extra expedition gea( under, mid, and outerwear), 3 season tent, collapsable snow shovel, utility knife, Roadside emergency Kit, 2 Military Spec M.R.E's, 4 days of potable emergency water, one Magnesium farstarted, two true burn fire starters, Headlamp; numerous flash lights, 40ft of paracord, 4 15ft utility tiedowns, one 20ft tow strap, a 32 piece bungee cord set. 1 WAH-64 Apache AH1 flight helmet (YUP....It's in there), and all the redundant gear that I have in each of a 5day TNF expedition pack, TNF Wasatch day pack, and Mountainsmith hip, smokes, and a flask of Jack Daniels, a dozen golf balls/ tees / my old driver, hacky sack, and a picture book for tying upwards of 50 knots, slings, ascenders and other ropelike devices.

I'm ready to tattoo a deer, Dukes of Hazzard a Guard Rial (probably no freeze frame in flight) bury myself in 12ft of snow and relax for a week unseen or heard of from the road, and then climb out to TV cameras for being "That GUY", what was prepared for winter driving in the ADKs. Yeeeeeehaw. premonition of no?! I look forward to deer crossing and black ice.


Kate said...

Travel safely, Sir Bob.

And! When you return! I have a way for you to pass the time!

There is a website. If you're not featured on it, you probably should be. There's even a serial killer in there!

Yep. Y'all's have yer own website. Aren't you just oozing with pride?

....that IS pride, right?

Shaggy Bob said...

I didn't realize until I posted that, should a homeless man, thug, or ruffian be at the library searching the web, he may just happen upon the website and find a way to open the cornicopia that is my truck to live happily anywhere in the city......"under a bridge?"....."behind that dumpster on Erie Blvd?" Or be the talk of the shelter with his or her (don't want to discriminate) brand new duds. I'm saddened : (