Monday, February 4, 2008

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment

When faced with the two options of trimming a wayward hair on your cheek above you beard hair line, or removing it by tweezer and sheer brute strength... I suggest the first option. Here's my reasoning, when removing a hair my "pull" method it allows for the folicle to retart it's growth cycle under the skin and without the option to re-emerge from the original pore. Thursday I removed by the latter method, Saturday I had a painful face. Sunday I had an ingrown hair that turned into a minigolf ball on my mug. 15minutes after I realized the monstrocity I had a wound on my face. A dime sized spot of red is better than a quarter sized patch of white....I'm just sayin....trim yourself the pain and belittling feeling when you weep like a 4yr old little girl after powering the beast out. Sniffle sniffle......

On a totally unrelated Self-Help hint of the Moment, if faced with the prospect of wearing a quitter sock for the entire day/evening of work or turning around halfway through your commute to fix the quitter sockness... go home and get rid of the bastard sock. If you don't be prepared for a WTF day in the extreme. G-D,it! WTF. Work, pull up your sock, work, pull up your sock, think about working while pulling up your sock, think about pulling up your sock while working, get pissed that your sock migrated to the toe of your shoe, remove shoe and pull up your sock, work...get heated enough to be "that guy" wearing one sock at work. Debate with yourself the clear intentions you have about taking the infernal sock and burning it in the parking lot like a little camp fire of Sock Pire . Feel gratified that you don't have to pull up your sock anymore for the night and get giddy when you burn the sock to the bastard sock gods in the parking lot as fellow employees come and go staring at you like your a little tatched in the head. "They're coming to take me away...ha ha"

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