Thursday, November 13, 2008


.... I don't care if you have Soy Milk, and Organic veggies, nor do I pretend to understand the vehemance with which you preach. I stand behind you and your stinky dreaded hair waiting patiently for the divider to get to the cashier so that I can pay for my food. I shop within my budget and after a thorough washing the red bell pepper I have is no different that the one you have, other than the fact that my chemically coated vetetable looks 40times healthier than your wrinkled, shrivled, haggard, looking excuse for a pepper. Asking if "I'm really gonna eat that" whilst looking at my Nature Valley Granola bars will only prompt a return inquisition about the uber processed ho-ho's you have in your selected food stuffs for the day. Not only that but you might get a snide retort such as ""No not at all, I was planning on hot gluing them to a mirror, then mounting the mirror in a frame hanging it on my wall and calling it "WTF Do You Think" It's on the friggin conveyor belt and I consciously made the decision to EAT them in the aisle back there." (?why must price checks ache so long?) Oh nevermind it was the organic single quince that dreadhead beatch purchased to suppliment her Ho-ho intake. Thanks for the chat the cashier is giggling at your preaching, then making comments behind your back as you leave the store prompting a little giggle of my own.

Why is food so important for others to comment on in passing. (It rarely will initiate a coversation if that's what you're looking for). A Guy I work with has been commenting thusly everyday since I started at the Gaz. He is even bold enough to refer to a "full on, all the trimmings, turkey dinner" as snacks. "Oooooh nice snacks you have there" [It's a turkey dinner fool] Snacks you pop in the microwave to heat from their frozen goodness to edible. A turkey "dinner" takes no less than 3hrs to prepare. Even if said turkey dinner is in tupperware for transport, there's no need to label it with an inferior title. I don't comment on this guys perpensity to dress like a reject from the preppy days of 1982 with draped pink sweater and yellow socks. Leave my turkey alone.

If you eat solely organic good, if you stuff your face with processed foods good, if you balance the two good good for you. Just don't stand on your soap box in the check out lane. I'm pretty sure someone that you're yiping at won't completely change their mind and return all the food that they were just going to purchase due to your enlightenemnt. [Although, given the situation happen to me again, I'll sequester the smart/healthy eater to accompany me around the store for a few hours telling me about all the benefits of their particular lifestyle and purchase all the food they suggest + NuttyBars and Ring-Dings and a single quince]

"Nothin' says healthy livin' like Hostess Ho-hos"

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