Charity

Yesterday, while at a big box bargain outlet store I was asked if I would like to donate to make a less fortunate family's Holiday more holiday-ee, I was checking out, and thought.... Heck yeah I can do that. It'll brighten someone's day. SO I said sign me up for $5. Upon returning home I thought on a whim to check my account balance so I could plan for the lean Holiday shopping I was going to undertake for my own family and friends this week. It turns out that by budget was pretty tight, in fact, I had just over drawn my account by $4.95. OUCH. That means an overdraft fee isa comin. Unfortunately the family won't be seeing the entire $41.85 donation I'll really be making for the betterment of human kind.

A dollar and a dream is all it takes to win the NYS Lottery so they say, or I can hold onto three chances to win 145million dollars and buy a loaf of bread. I think a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at this point is worth 145 million dollars, or lack there of.

FaceySpace

I just don't know what the real draw is. Although I'm drawn. It started as a way to sling smaller messages, similar to what I was posting here, then it turned to posting pics of me doing stuff, it progressed to creep and stalk the lil lady. I don't need that any more, she's the best if not the most bestest thing that has ever happened to me. I still check... and in most cases still rant about it. I guess it's a useful tool, I've found 371 of my closest and not so closest friends. There are a handful of people whom I update, and (chat on the phone with, as well) then there are the other bunch of mutts. <=I say that in the most loving way though. People comment/I comment... it's faceyspace. There is something in our psyche that forces us to want to know about wanting to know what someone else is eating for lunch. If it's not there for you..... you're not on faceyspace (or perhaps not actually reading this. WHoa!?!?!?!?). What's suuuuuup?

Today's Randomness is brought to you by, worn out slippers, the word plangent \PLAN-junt\ DEFINITION adjective 1 : having a loud reverberating sound 2 : having an expressive and especially plaintive quality, and the number 2.

WHAh?

Employed until the end of the month, no idea where after.....

I'm standing outside the Gazzettte(sp, error intended) and a Black Hoodie approaches me. I'm having a smoke, "cuz" well, shit I can. Black Hoodie walks out of his way 50yds to ask me in his best (Imma thug enforcer voice) "Yo ya gotta a smoke frrr me?" I'm on the phone with my lil lady..... I can't be bothered. [dude is six 4 and change +300] (insert small talk) I ax "you gotz 50cents?" nah,... i aint got money. why walk all the way over here out of your original path? Shaggybob="keep walkin!" then when he was 20 steps away I said "hey, come back here..... here's a smoke." Say please and thank you... it'll get you some place in life.

I've been having an incredibly weird life lately, thanks for the froth on the crazy coffee.

I like toast! with my butter completely melted.... jelly and Peanut butter optional.

My shoes.... they're wearing out. If I wear a pair I haven't shod in a bit..... my knees hurt.

I still drink like a fish, but I drink tons.... minus the quality.

I sleep all day again for the rest of the month.

I look forward to seeing Miss Erin every second of the day.

I want to cook a steak dinner but eat mad rice.

I need new pillows cuz my pillows are completely flat... I like'm that way, in a way.

I haven't figured out after 35yrs how to use a semi-colon; I suck, which makes it difficult to write correctly.

I've lost my outlet to use mad design programs without slingin 5g's for a new set up. Picture that?!

I have friends whom have had kids and I haven't met them yet.... it makes me sad.

Some times I wonder....... where I was, and where I need to be, and If I did it right, or can do it right?

I'm a solid vampire again after 4weeks. I had 5yrs of practice so I guess I'm good at it. Blah Blah......Blah HHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssss (blah sun isth hurting me)

Nerrrr.

It's Willem in the morning... I should head to sleep.

Todays Randomness

Today's Randomness: is brought to you by the last lil piggy, that went wee wee wee all the way into the bottom corner of a book case, the word Frak (an Explicative used in the "re-imagined" version of the BattleStar Galactica series) and the number 14.(the number of times I hopped and screamed prior to landing supine on my couch with the piggy in the air.)

It's been awhile since my last post so I figured , hey I'm still unemployed after 14weeks why not shoot out something random and stubbing my friggin little toe was the perfect catalyst.

I think I'll start posting again as much as possible I have a bunch of pent up angst. more to come soon.

Good Idea Bad Idea

Moron, or just plain stupid?

Should you be in Schenecta'dirt, and be feeling a little frisky, it may behoove you.... BEHOOOOOOOooooove you to not solicit any prostitutes. Should you disregard that minor bit of advice please keep in mind that prostitution is an illegal activity. I'm not saying that prostitutes are all shady, or perhaps maybe they are (I don't know any personally). It is indeed illegal in the eyes of the Law. Ask Elliot Spitzer he'll tell you how much money a prostitute can take you for plus the extra added bonus of a marriage and the Governor's seat at a big ass breakfast table.

I'm fairly certain that the $20 street corner hooker could be a bit more shady than say a Bunny Ranch $5,000 an hour "classy" harlet. In the newspaper today there was some poor riled up guy that made a terrible business decision. Paper or plastic? a common question we all get while we're shopping. It shouldn't be applied to in the dark alley sex trade by any means. This guy, this grown man, decided to give a 'nice' middle aged veteran strumpet plastic. Platinum no less... and was astonished by the fact.....ASTONISHED, that she took the card and max out $10,000.

"Mark it zero! Smokey" with three more 0's and a 1 in front of it to boot.

Is it wrong to think that a WallyWorld gift card probably would have done the trick?(<-I'm leaving it...... 'trick').

On a different note, 2 whole winters have past since I saw the hooker on a bike. Mostly because I moved out of the 'Dirt. I'm sure she was workin it on Erie Boulevard in fishnets a short leather jacket and 10speed during the dead of night in 20 - 0 degree weather regardless of my seeing her or not. She was hardcore.

Z's new TAT design

I'm working on a new Tattoo design for my Big Timmy Z. I've pieced a few online images together and am in the beginning stages of fleshing out the missing parts, and altering the original images as well. What do ya think?

You may think Z is into dragons and such but I added the dragon so his secret of digging 1/2 naked dudes in gladitorial type armor doesn't get out.

Content

New adventures in life have me reeling in positiveness. I'm looking forward to where this new beginning takes me.

MacRonald

{totally going to order the Surf and Turf }

I don't eat at MacRonald's much. Not because I don't enjoy a Big Mac on occasion, or have issues with the healthy nature of their artery clogging sustenance; in a pinch I'm all about a double Quarter pounder w/cheese or 3, it's because of the deep frying smell. I've always had a distaste for the stank associated with deep fry oil/grease. That's saying a bunch I was the cook for a fraternity for a couple of years and I deep fried everything (bacon, sneakers, Lawrence T. Rat). The smell still throws me off a bit. The local Wallyworld has a MacRonnies located directly in the store. You walk through the automatic doors past the Fat Scooter charging station, the guy who smells like urine, the woman beating her hellspawn, the bottle return whoomp, and BAM....deep fried WTF. It's horrid. I bet the Photo hut people are accustomed to it 5 minutes after they get hired. Or maybe they have nightmares after taking pictures of Kleetus and his Wahhf for the 90th time standing in the funk of fry grease. My stomach is churning right now just thinking about it. (yup thinking about both the grease and Kleetus's Wife getting the family portrait in stained powder blue sweatpants size Shamu)

What gets me is that even though I dislike the deep fry smell, in the back of my head the smell is exponentially worse because it's actually in the Walmart. It's "just threw up in my mouth a little bit" disgusting. Is it Just me? Would you eat your own shoes rather than get a burger from a Wallyworld MacRonalds?

I'm willing to bet even the Super Size Me guy would skip the place if he made a sequel, in favor of scrapping with seagulls for french fries in the parking lot.

More WTF: Seagulls what are they doing in Schenecta'dirt, we're land locked in NY State.

I can't wait

Conscious effort

I've decided to make a conscious effort to get up prior to noon everyday. It's tough, in fact I think it's pretty close to impossible. The night time job and post work decompression time doesn't help much. It's not that my job is stressful, you'd have to imagine it like this: (you work a regular 9-5 job) you'd get up at 3am try to do everything you would think about doing after work prior to!? and then go to bed at 6pm after your short ass commute home. Nearly impossible..

I'll be starting the effort tomorrow, today my pillow was way too ccomfortable to let go of until 4pm.

Hypo-critical infusion

Here's little something from today's bank visit. Whilst waiting for the few the proud the legally slow insane people to get rid of their stacks of receipts and 2bil transations apiece, I had the opportunity to chat a bit with the girl standing next to me. It was really just nonsense banter and I'm not sure how the subject got changed but we ended up talking about food. Well; actually, animals considered as food. I'm really not too sure how many times this has happened to me in the past but it's a lot. We slowly moved toward and covered how vegetarians (she was a firm believer) are healthier, and that meat eaters(I'm a firm believer) are destined to die a horrible death at the hands of a viscious marmot and spend life eternal roasting on a spit in the rotisserie oven that is hell. So what, I can deal "I love animals because they taste good". Chuckle chuckle, kick a sideways glance shrug it off....(waiting for it. waiting for it...)

She mentioned PETA, and I knew the conversation was about to take a turn south. "I love animals I would never hurt them, you're a bad person for eating them... what'd the lil fuzzy bunny ever do to you,....." blah blah blah.

Again I don't know how many times this has happened to me in the past, but it's a lot. Oh look it's my turn to talk to the teller,

"Nice shoes by the way, Huh Leather.... What'd the poor wittle cow ever do to you?" I bet you had 2% milk on your cereal this morning"

There isn't a food product out there that isn't in some way related to the "mean" treatment of animals. Organic produce you say... I say Manure. Manure isn't a free range commodity.

Some people should really think before they take the exit to the south in a conversation.

Changes

I'm obviously remiss about posting here now that faceyspace is out there and mundane posts about what I ate for a snack in the afternoon is tops on my list of things I would like the intarwebb to know about me.

I'm going to make an effort to post at least twice a week here with thoughts of the bizarre and ridiculous that float around in my melon.

For the first post: I quit smoking. It had more to due with illness than it did with actually wanting to give it up. I enjoy my vices. But in the aftermath of a week long illness I haven't had a smoke for quite sometime. I can't say I'm done forever... but for the time being, I've quit.

I've also been a week without the devils brew as well. I was on the path to destruction for quite sometime and decided that it may be good to dial it down a bit. 18yrs of drinking like a college freshman is a bit much. So I'm going to try the moderation thing and see how it works.

Next on tap..... eating healthy and getting back in shape. I'm not weak, nor am I grossly out of touch with proper weight, but I'm off a bit. It may have something to do with the lack of sunlight I get. (I'm working on that fix...full spectrum desk lamp) not sure if I'll use it at home or at the office, but it's in the works. I'm also a bit lax when it comes to complete meals a bunch of times a day. I'm usually snacking when I wake, have a ginormous meal at diner time and have a tiny something when I get home from the work... balanced meals haven't happened in 5-6yrs.

This could constitute a New Year Resolution; but I'm not promising shit, and don't believe in the practice anyway.

Today's Randomness is Brought to You by: a warm leg, the term Fecal coliforms: n' facultatively-anaerobic, rod-shaped, gram-negative, non-sporulating bacteria. and the number 3mil (signifying the number of coliforms just deposited on my appendage by the dog)

If you're out there I'm still waiting

MoonGoddess?...... MoonGoddess?..... Beuller?

Set a man on fire

It's been some time so here's a little update. Not so long ago I tacoed my garage door in an attempt to move my Jeep for the purpose of yardwork.(retarded) I immediately called and purchased a replacement to be delivered and installed post haste. The ordeal that followed was by far one of the most assinine in my life. If you know me: that statement says alot. I DO NOT recommend any goods or services from the Home Depot from this point forth for the rest of my life.... not even in an emergency (like, say for instance, a busted garage door with winter looming.) I dealt with 4 different associates, a manager, a vendor, and a different install company. The 4 associates were confused, the manager clueless, the vendor apologetic, and the install company guy "the bomb" he's gonna be awesome.

Step 1 crush door Nov.5th
Step 2 order replacement Nov. 5th
Step 3 wait 2weeks for confirmation
Step 4 wait for site inspection
Step 5 get told the door won't be available until Jan 7th
Step 6 get offered a cheaper door on sale, with promotional discount available on Dec 7th
Step 7 get call from asshat, make that Dec 14th
Step 8 talk to manager, make that December 14th "sorry dude"<=the managers words
Step 9 new call make that Feb. 1st (curiously 1month after the original door order WTF me thinks)
Step 10 flip and go batshit crazy
Step 11 order the M2-2 WWII backpack mounted Flamethrower
Step 12 call to check on order, Feb 5th(seriously? +4days on top of 1 month?)
Step 13 Check online order status (January 11th, still 10days after original order.)
Step 14 call manager ask WTF politely, wait for coherant reply... nope!?
Step 15 inform the Depot their indoor lumber yard has Smores written all over it
Step 16 wait 20hrs
Step 17 Receive call from Installer "we're putting in your door tomorrow. at noon".

Total elapsed time 2 months.
Teach a man to make fire....yadda yadda, threaten his and 150 employee lives in addition to millions in merchandise with conflagration. Satisfactiory business transaction.

The laws of commerce seen through my eyes, a retailer sells goods and services, I pay for goods and services, when goods and services are in limbo after deductions from my account, flamethrowers get involved . Goods and services magically appear

I've decided

I'm going to make it a point, to post....when I can. With a purpose. Today's randomness is brought to you by: Right Now! the word Pittance• \PIT-unss\•noun: a small portion, amount, or allowance; also : a meager wage or remuneration, The number .46, and the number 527.

the best waste of resources.

Today?

I've seen the caustic ridiculosity, I've seen the redonkulous, I've watched uber dumb, how can you expect anything less. Be rigtht! or make it right! You have nothing on real

Today's Randomness

Todays randomness is brought to you by a trip to Walmart, the word peregrination \pair-uh-gruh-NAY-shun\noun: an excursion especially on foot or to a foreign country : journey, and the number 2874.

Everytime I venture into the uncharted aisles of "everyday item goodness" I find myself in a 3rd world country inhabited by people of unknown origin whom can only be classified by their manner of dress.

There's members of the High Court of Sweatpantopia
The Urchins from Baggypant Isle
The Cyborgs from the Planet FatScooter
The Mullet Warriors from Trailer 92
The Norms
The Hunter Gathers.... etc

And mixed throughout the masses are their demon spawn, I read not too long ago about an old man in a Walmart far far away that took it upon himself to liberally smack one of these creatures (which wasn't one of his own ilk). I never had the inkling myself. Until today....

Bartering in a checkout line should be outlawed, more so when you have 3 demons crawling in and about the shopping cart, on shelving, in and out of other peoples legs, demons that are throwing impulse items on the conveyor belt, opening and closing beverage coolers, dropping beverages on the floor from said coolers. Those that are whining for McDonalds food and screaming just loud enough to pierce an eardrum should you be within say; I don't know,4ft of them.

It takes a lot to rattle me into evil thoughts, I at one point imagined that my boot was clearly lodged in one of the demons asses. (I chuckled outloud). The caretaker for these devilish little monsters would have had a much easier time if she'd decided that the outing would have benefited from a cattle prod or two.

When I was a child, a backhand would have straightened me out, in fact the stink eye prior to a backhand would have squashed every and all thought of misbehaving in public. I guess a "TimeOut" doesn't have the same effect.

Landmine Croquet

If you've never heard of it before I'll fill you in with pics and a color commentary after the weekend. More specifically Monday because the Croquet Tournament in on Saturday and I already burned a vacation day for Sunday. It involves Beer and Croquet, a bunch of food and a few ridiculous College buddies with a healthy appetite for crazy.

At one point I was hosting between 12-18 people for the weekend of Beer,BBQ,and Games. Now it seems like 10 is the number. That doesn't include the people just stopping by for a burger though. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm alive

Still alive... I just got sucked into Faceyspace lately.

Update, the landmine croquet tourney is coming along nicely. 1 month away, and hopefully a few more people will be able to show up.

I've finally gotten the storage facilities, and the desired storage units forthe hardtop. I'm going to be rolling with the top down until I can't hold the steering wheel anymore due to shivering. I'm going to take the doors off this weekend just to see how bad-ass it'll feel.

wedding season is slowly rolling to a close with 2weeks until the double-header. er, well...back to back weekends.

I'll have to find an interesting life in order to type more.