Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I ripped my damn pants

If you've never been fortunate enough to tear a hole in your favorite pants; the most comfortable pair you have, the ones that look good, the pants that you've been wearing to perfection for the last 8yrs ( I know that sounds vain, you all know where I'm coming from), I suggest you try it half way in to your work day. It makes time stand still...and if you work in a professional environment, not a place such as mine "where I could probably get away with tighty whities and a mega-death shirt", you would probably get a lot of people staring at the gaping hole in yer crotch. Not a fan, just not a fan. After snagging my junk on a particularly sharp piece of metal [don't fret, I've always said that if I were hung like a porn star, and acted like a porn star I'd be in porn, that's not the case] after snaggin' on this hunk of pant ripping metal, I calmly entered my cubicle and checked for damage, the twig and berries are fine. Being angered by such an inanimate object, and eventually calming myself I decide to think half-full rather than half-empty. Divergent thinking is tough enough for little kids much less grown adults that don't particuarly care for it, but I gave it a shot and wouldn't you know it.....everytme I wear these pants " I have a build in cup holder now" In the summer I'll be able to cool the boys off with an ice cold can/bottle of beer, in the winter get a hot cup of coffee and warm'em up.
My point is, I have a gaping hole in my favorite fuckin' pants and that just sucks!

2 comments:

Monstu said...

Silver lining number two:
This is the perfect opportunity to start wearing that cod piece you have always wanted. It will both cover the hole and accentuate the junk. You can't lose!!!

By the way, nice pic. It looks just like you, who's the artist? I gotta get a portrait like that!

Kate said...

Awwww, see, now, if you'd brought 'em here tonight, I could have fixed them.

I probably even would have let you take them off before running them through the sewing machine. I'm nice that way.