Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Territoriality, Pop-tarts and Cadaver Dogs

Death drives a yellow convertable Miata, I know this because as I pulled in to the local supermarket on Sunday, the Ghetto-chopper, he was parked in my spot. It's not marked with my name, but everytime I venture out to the store I park in the same spot. It's by the out-door, some 20 ft away from the building. I call it my spot because I can see my truck from the checkout, and make sure that all is right in the world. This particular morning I decided that I wanted to get some pop-tarts to suppliment my caffeine intake. If I had been a cadaver dog I would have immediately recognized that it was death's car. After my puchase I felt scorn and contempt at the empty car for blocking my space, but humbly moved on with my life. If you don't believe in the basic territoriality of people, try sitting in Buffy McKnows-it'all's seat in a lecture hall, or in your spouse's favorite spot on the couch and watch the fireworks.
Death having abandoned his car, and me without a cadaver dog kinda helped me miss the corpse just a few feet from where I was walking in the lot, next to the shrubbery just over the curb. Death likes to park next to the out-door as well. I only recently learned that a 27yr old "supposed crack head" had silently died just a few hours earlier in the very spot. If you O.D. it's wise to have I.D. or else you get labeled a lost cause crack addict when death parks his car in front of you at the ghetto-chopper parking lot by the out-door. Tox reports aren't back yet...but lil miss dead with a crack pipe could have bad blood.
Tommorrow I'm going to have a pop-tart and coffee, wondering how difficult it is to train cadaver dogs.( Maybe it's time for a career change) Then I'm going to drive to work and steer clear of any yellow convertable Miatas. If you happen to see death screaming down the highway... pull over to the right an let him pass. A yellow Miata a badass machine and you wouldn't want to get deaded.

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