I made a Lt. Commander in the 107th Stratton Air National Guard Wing almost laugh himself out of his fatigues today.....
After a great weekend, visiting the bro and sis, an evening with DK Lil Mac, Waldo and P. Lunde and his fam I made the jaunt back to work this afternoon in just enough time to wash myself and then hit up the local Subway for some dinner. The sweaty dude that drips in the food is no longer on the payroll there so, I'm not at all skeeved by ordering.
I was second in line behind a college student that was pretty well in the bag, and behind me was the Lt. Commander.... The college dude was slurring a bit, couldn't stand still and was in the basic mumbling stuttering prick mode that I tend to get into when powering through the old Oatsodas with reckless abandon. The 20 something turned and looked at me, did a double take and then opened his pie hole. ( I had just gotten out of the shower and hadn't felt like fighting with the mop, it was out in force) "You gonna get the veggie sub hippy?" Normally I don't take offense to such things, rarely do I acknowledge the statement or who is saying it, much less care about the fact that they're blatently using up my oxygen. This particular day that wasn't the case. Before I could help it I spit out a retort to his uncanny observation of my person. "Why no I like animals because they taste good, oh and by the way, 1981 called.... popped collars are still ghey" The Air Force guy just about pissed himself and we had a great little chat at the college monkey's expense the entire time he was waiting for his sub. He thought about responding and then lowered his head like a dog that lost it's ball under a couch.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it.