Sunday, September 23, 2007

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment

It is not advisable to make mention of how slowly 3 HighSchool buddies; whom haven't seen eachother for the better part of a year, "this being the annual outing", play golf at a public course specially if it's only the front 9. It matters not that you have your Holy Coventry CT Lions Club Golf Tournament. It's only going to take 2hrs for the 3 guys to play...keep your trap shut. If you happen to be the moldy old fart that was vocal to the extreme and recieved the verbal threats of violence, and sarcastically brilliant barage of retorts... Good for you, now go pack sand in your ass or it will infact be the putter you get blade first sideways in the orafice of your choosing, relax and let one of the 3 guys "borrow" your cart. Or you could use the time you decided to yap away to "NOT" 4-putt the green you're on.

If you are playing with the owner of the course and he doesn't want to take responsibility for holding the organ grinder or your chain, chances are he's a bit embarrassed by your behavior and that which you solicited from the guys willing to let go of the minor green's fee and roll yer ass over in your own cart just for laughs. Don't worry, the 9th green won't move too far in the time it takes 3 able bodied men to walk all of the 500yds. (Unless of course you've forgotten that the world revolves, but not around you specifically.)

The PGA stipulates that proper attire should be worn during all events. Lucky for you, this was a public course and we only snarked about your white undershirt and jean shorts a little bit. "Way to pimp it out Golf-Style rock!?"

If it weren't for you Mr. Golfers Get A Bad Name When They're Crotchity Old Men Guy. The Afternoon hitting on the waitresses at Bidwell's Tavern may have had to be the focal point of the day. As it was we were suprised you didn't show up there and yipe about the beer "being cold" or "In a Pint Glass" or "There's too much of a selection" or "These 28 different flavors of wings make my dentures hurt" Boo Hooo Booo Hoooo

I'm laughing on the inside about the whole day, scratch that, I just laughed out loud too.

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