Curtains

Being the sort of man that tends to think his boys are large enough not to deal with the frilly things in life I have overlooked certain things that seem to be necessity. Although I love the fact that I'm lazy enough to hang sheets from my gloriously large brand new windows, I need to buy curtains. The new Whip is significantly less ghetto than the Fishbowl, and that in and of itself requires that I go out and purchase......(Oh MAn I'm going to actually write it) window treatments. Since I haven't decided what type of furniture I will be buying to fill the ginormous voids that the living room and bedroom are comprised of I have to rely on my innerself to make a decicion as to color and style without the benefits of other interior design aspects and influences. (<=Said with a raging lisp and a flip of the hair.) That being said I started my search yesturday at a few stores and to my amazement, I was dumbfounded.... who decided that there were to be invented and distributed no less than 3 brazillian different styles of harware, rods, reels, drapes, curtains, sashes, valances, and small garden gnomes, WTF am I lookin for? For the love of all that "isn't".....and other things not-so-holy.
You see, the flatscreen TV, new video stuff, Pub table, bar, kitchen fixin's, and down feather pillow top Bardo Thodol bed is already on tapto compliment the wall sized mirror a la American Psycho. I've invested in a Wustof Santuku that could shave a billygoat, a lobster pot, smoker/grill, poker table, workout bench and weights (hahahhahaaahahh), and deck furniture..... F'in Curtains?

I spent no less than 4hrs yesturday staring at curtains like a puppy that just got kicked into a pool of razorblades and vinegar with a little bit of EMO mixed in. I cut myself, I cry, I listen to melodic sappy bullshit rebellious pseudo punk cuz I'm a 31 year old teen with pent up anxst for societal values induced by curtain indecision. Testosterone level is at EF, Extreme Forfeiture.

Someone get me a loaded gun and a bag o' circus peanuts I'm going out in style.

Handwriting

If you're not a doctor, and you have to convey information to others that work to make your job possible, it's a safe bet that if you send them hyroglyphs and they can't decipher them....you're going to be in a world of hurt when your supervisor reams you a new one. Thanks for nothin Advertising representatives of the world...learn some penmanship skills and I'll make you an AD that facilitates sales for your clients. If not, "I had no Idea it would be so much....I won't pay it!"

Battle Of the Sexes Vid

Wiffle-It!

The Inaugural Farmer's Daughter Come-one-Come-all Wiffle Ball Homerun Derby Challenge was moderately entertaining....HaH I lied it was freakin sweet.
Due to time restaints and a badass narsty wind the contest ended in favor of Farmer's Daughter icecream. No doubt the beating sun had something to do with it as well. I myself had a medium swirl waffle cone with extra sprinkles. The nice little lass at the counter that waited on me was attractive---except for the shit in her face. (Not a fan of facial jewelry..expecially it it involves lips, eyebrows, and what appears to be a cheek protrusion.) I didn't take any pics.
Grilled foods, a few beers, and a no holds barred wiffle ball crushin' hit it past the garden to score slugfest.

Rules: 5 outs per batter, you swing and miss yer OUT, you hit a grounder yer OUT, you hit it like a wimp and can't clear the imaginary line at the back of the garden..You're OUT. Clear that imaginary line and you're on the board.

Standings:
Boone on top with a slugging average of somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse
Shaggy Smacked a bunch
D slugged a bundle
Jim broke a ball (I give him credit he entered the game late and smashed a bushel)
Joey opted after a few innings to sit, although he still made a good showing.
Lil Mac ran away with it

Longest hit goes to Boone, for clearing not only the garden, shed, and an apple tree (probably about 70ft) but for exposing his stark white ginormous belly and blinding the outfielders in the process. Allowing for extra airtime and no outfield interception.

And now.....I'm at work, which isn't exciting, so much as it's a place where I've relegated myself to be bitter that I'm not drinking beers and hitting a wiffle ball. I'm not a fan of hanging out then making myself leave to entertain the option of working. It was great to get out though and I'm thinking should it be an option to replay the event in the future I'll be able to make it out of the rack sooner than I did this morning. I feel akward that I just peaced out, but what are you going to do.

All Moved

More to follow when I get settled:

I'm finally getting everything situated in the place and will be sleeping like a rock tonight without the constant sirens. I just got another piece in the Game of Life.

cut and paste caught in your head goodness http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/flash/play/3858

Homebase : OASIS

I should be completely moved to the new homebase by this time tommorrow evening and enjoying a delicious Guinness Milkshake. Although I was able to find a Saranac variety pack that has a chocolate stout in it today in preparation of the successful completion of the move. Perhaps that would make for a tastier victory dance.

On a different note:
Check out Label 11 records for the updated listing of gigs for TriggerLust they'll be in the capital region for a number of shows in the up coming month.
~ Saratoga for the Rock Your Art Out Fest on Saturday June 16th. It's at Lee's Campground
~ June 29th playing at Valentine's in Albany. - Otto's Jacket - is opening.

For those of you who don't follow the Knoa two members of the my fav. feel good band, Bassist Dre Pilette plays with Triggerlust, and Josh Corrigan plays drums for Otto's Jacket. (these two guys were playing Knoa tunes in the front rooms of the TEPhi Mansion back in potsdam in 2000. Good times

Opinion Page

There's a writer for the paper who for the last year has been harping on the FBI's involvement in the conviction of two gentlemen who lived in Albany, (by their peers) for being a threat to the United States and terrorism. It's been in no less than 4 papers a week for 52 weeks since the trial. I think that's pretty much enough already. They were convicted of terrorism. Convicted. If you don't want to be labeled a terrorist, and don't want to be sent to prison for being a trhreat to the USA, I've included a little pseudo conversation (playlet) below that may or may not help you. I call it.....

The Not So Terrorist.
Characters:
A, (FBI Agent, willing to go undercover)
B, (A brick oven pizzaria owner, of Mideastern Decent living in Albany NY)

Scene one: (Set in the pizzaria , both players sitting over a table enjoying a slice of tasty brick oven pizza)
After some small talk and a few sodas....

A: "SO, B... wanna buy a Stinger Missle?"

(After thinking it over diligently... B answers while wiping pizza sauce from his beard)

B: "NO"

(Actual elapsed time used while thinking it over diligently < .00000000000000000000125 of a fuckin' nano second)

The End

If you should choose to answer such a simple question with anything even remotely positive.... Be prepared to get darted in the ass and wake up with a US Issue GPS tracking chip screwed into your skull. "Wake up Kent....this is GOD Kent" Even if it was under the premise that in trade for said "stinger missile" you would get a free carwash at the place down the street. Sometimes even Darwin has influence with the Government.

On the ball

I spent another 10minutes today arranging my stuff. Everything is presently lined up single file a la kindergarten firedrill ready to get out of dodge. That pretty much means the whole-shot for the new whip is getting me pretty damned amped up. Since I'm giving my couch the heave-ho off to the furniture gods...I'll be taking a few weeks and a few drop cloths to use my entire livingroom as a studio space.
Here's the creative plan..I currently have 4 hollowcore doors that are hinged together and being used as a divider/screen in the Fishbowl separating the bedding from the couching spaces. I'm going to unhinge, prime, gesso and then slash a watered down acrylic paint in one swift brush motion at high velocity (top right to bottom left) onto the four panels butted side by side. Quickly stand them up, and spritz with more water to allow for a certain minor bit of running and drippage. I say top right to bottom left to counterbalance the primary visual patterns that the eye is accustomed to follow when looking at a painting. That being a start in the lower right and circle clockwise around to the upper left. When the drips have dried...I'm going to separate the four doors (now officially gessoed mixed media panels) and place them on the longest wall in the apartment equi-distant allowing just a bit more empty space from the outer walls so as not to crowd the composition of the wall sized installation. The separation will spread the composition, but I'm hoping the pigment will hold it together even with the distance between panels. Since the doors are 7ft tall and the ceilings in the new place are 8ft...I'll only have to hang them 6inches off the floor. That should be a good start back in to the creative realm of artist that I have been neglecting since my exodus from college in 2001. Positively unequivocally awesome....and of course it'll also immediately get red paint all over the rug in the new place [even with drop cloths] and set the tone for artistic messedness. BoooYAH! Controlled abstraction.
That's the plan...of course it's subject to change at the whim of a lunatic mind. "They're coming to take me away, hee hee"
I'm also planning on going furniture shopping for the first time ever with a specific plan in mind...not necessity...just good old fashion want. "Hee hee....ha ha....they're coming to take me away" I bet a claw footed bathtub would make a spiffy recliner in the livingroom given the correct cushion selection, or maybe a nice indoor spice garden......mmmmm Basil.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time....just following my 7yrs of college goodness I aligned myself with being able to pack everything I owned into my car ready to hit the road for any destination in the lower 48, I could be there ready to set up shop and make a life for myself within 5days.( Ex. Bozeman/Big Sky Montana and the failed attempt at working for Montana State University's Art dept. Thank you Osama Bin Laden) Today I decided that my impending move deserved a little pre-move preparation. Although I'm only moving 3 or so miles...I figured that crating and boxing some of my things would make it more enjoyable and allow for more unpacking and set up time at the new place without the hassle of a hundred trips back and forth. I had everything I own packed and ready to go within 1hr. Barring the couch that will make its way into the river/or dumpster, and the ginormous matress...I'm saddened by my lack of material posessions. You would think that accumulating stuff wouldn't be that hard..I've been on the professional boat for 7yrs now....where is all my junk? I cook everyday..... I cook decent food everyday, and I had my kitchen packed in 10minutes. No wayward pots and pans...everything in one box. SAD.
If it takes as much time to move as it did to prepare...I'll be living large in the new place by 10am Friday morning. That ladies and gentlemen means one thing and one thing alone. Celebration time for moving out of the heart of Ghetto. Happy hour and and late dinner.
Your mission should you choose to accept it is to meet me at Katie O'brynes, across the street to the Grogg Shoppe, follow to Clinton's Ditch, up to the Union Inn, over to the Backstage Tavern...and ending for a late meal at the Water's Edge Lighthouse restaurant. Ok, ok...I lied, I'll be enjoying a Guinness or two on my balcony and using one of my meager selections of pot and pan to do some home cooking, first meal type gig at the new whip. What is on the menu? I only know that the blender is in tow and a Guinness milkshake will be a desserty good thing. [Never had a guinness milk shake before? I think you should.....Mmmmm mmmmm Yummers => I just punched myself in the gonadski's for that]

I can also say that I'm not in the slightest bit emotionally distraught over the prospect of never setting eyes on the hooker riding a bike again. I guess that really isn't a truism either, I'm searching in earnest for her so I can snap a camera-phone image and post...for hilarity's sake. (I hope I get a good shot...becuase it made milk come out my nose gut laughing when I 1st saw it... and I hadn't had a glass of milk for a week)

Only in the 'Dirt

Today as you are reading this...there is a headline in our glorious publication outlining the events that lead to an individual being charged for Gang Assault. "An Individual being charged for gang assault"......."An indiidual being charged for Gang assault". By pure definition alone....

~individual ~Function: noun Date:1605
1 a: a particular being or thing as distinguished from a class, species, or collection: as (1): a single human being as contrasted with a social group or institution (a teacher who works with individuals) (2): a single organism as distinguished from a group b: a particular person (are you the individual I spoke with on the telephone?)2: an indivisible entity3: the reference of a name or variable of the lowest logical type in a calculus.

~gang ~Function: noun Etymology:Middle English, walking, journey, from Old English; akin to Old English gangan Date:15th century
1 a (1): a set of articles : outfit (a gang of oars) (2): a combination of similar implements or devices arranged for convenience to act together (a gang of saws) b: group : as (1): a group of persons working together (2): a group of persons working to unlawful or antisocial ends; especially : a band of antisocial adolescents2: a group of persons having informal and usually close social relations (watching TV with the gang0

Todays randomness is brought to you by a one man gang: the word schizo·phre·nia Pronunciation: \ˌskit-sə-ˈfrē-nē-ə\
Function :noun Etymology:New Latin Date:1912
1 : a psychotic disorder characterized by loss of contact with the environment, by noticeable deterioration in the level of functioning in everyday life, and by disintegration of personality expressed as disorder of feeling, thought (as delusions), perception (as hallucinations), and behavior —called also dementia praecox — compare paranoid schizophrenia 2 : contradictory or antagonistic qualities or attitudes both parties…have exhibited schizophrenia over the desired outcome — Elizabeth Dre, and the number 1 equaling the number of people that are going to beat conviction by pleaing insanity.

The guy whom they arrested was a knife weilding participant in a one vs. one battle with a gun toting scrub. The guy with the knife goes to jail? He should be freed just because his testicles need a wheelbarrow. Knife to a gun battle....wicked SMRT

And for your viewing pleassure circa 1986.....

The One man Gang...wrestlemania 7

The Oasis revisited

It's official, I'll be taking my leave of the Fishbowl in 4days and not looking back. I'll be moving across the river to a secluded complex within stomping distance from work, a diner, and a resturaunt. Next to a beverage center, near some batting cages and a liquor store...just down the way from a market. Basically I'll be living it up in a 700 sq ft apt. with deck overlooking a fetid duck pond. I say fetid, cuz I know there is a colony of leaches that I should be happy to remove from my junk once I have a few too many and decide to take a dip. Nerrrr.
I'm hopping on the cable train again...and using the already located, picked out, and fallen in love with Projection TV. Big white walls equal 4ft tall movie actors in my living room. Done and done. The place allows for a certain amount of freedom when it comes to painting and I can set up a relatively decent sized space. Bonus. I just hope a year from now should I choose to move that they aren't all that upset about the random paint I'm throwing around in the place. The only draw back I see with the new place is the kitchen. I'm not too sure the size of the kitchen will allow for extravigant meals and the stove is a smaller 4 burner, the size that allows you to bend a cookie sheet in half when you slam the oven door shut after blistering yourself up to the elbow.
I'll be posting before and after pictures once I get the pad outfitted.I guess you can say that I'm pretty psyched, yup....wicked psyched.
I've posted a couple pics from my vacation last week below, if you can name the two mutts in the pic hanging out in Gritty McDuff's Brew Pub in Portland ME...you win the prize or the day. If you can name all 4 monkeys at the Ice House in Saratoga... you get a free smack on the ass and lick on the cheek.

Golf Outing

I haven't been able to pull out the clubs yet this year and for that I'm really kicking myself. It's been a long time since I held the omnipotent power of Mr. Shanky in my hands. Nothing screams fun louder than smashing a driver into a dimpled white ball and watching it rise 100yards straight out, then playfully hook 300yards to the right into the woods... or is that a slice? I bought a rescue wedge for such occasions and have named I the buzz saw. Golf is .... one shot in a hundred feeling good and looking even better. It's the reason I golf.
I'll have to get out once I move into the new whip. Windy Hill Country Club is the home course this year. Of course, as the name implies,....."it's inexpensive" and there is the occasional breeze.

Rachel Rayisms

I've been festering all day with a thought. It's not caught in my head like the Scooby Doo theme song has been for the last 5yrs, but it's annoying just the same. Next time I'm having a few beers with buddies and grillin' up a storm....the first sally pants to say anything even remotely like "Yummers" is going to get bitchslapped. I've mentioned my distaste for that gremlin Ray. Stoup, yummers and a fake Mmmm Mmmmmm, delish? my ass. There's no place for that around a hibachi, smoker, or fire. When the smoke from my marinated chicken wafts 3miles down the road, shuts down an airport and whites out the closest street..... there's no reason to be making baby talk to the food. If you do, the food has bigger stones than you do. Chicken balls! If you do slip up it's Your choice, either your hand goes on the coals or your face get's a grilled.

This book will be present to stoke up my next adventure in outdoor cooking. Borrowed book, CHECK.... Zippo, CHECK. Fire pit to hold said book, while warming my hands for the real deal Bob's Cookin' Show, CHECK. (It's strategically located no less than 25ft from the actual grill and I'm not putting it any closer, I don't want any of the funk to get on my food.)

The OASIS

It may be just a few days until I get the official nod to vacate the Fishbowl and work my way over to the "OASIS". Paperwork pending I may be moving to a "luxury" apartment complex in Scotia NY. Just a stones throw from the Mohawk, down the way from the http://www.thewatersedgelighthouse.com/aboutus.html (Can you say sweet odin's raven in a pile of sheepshit it's happy hour time boys and girls?). Heck even pajama girl from C's Ditch might be your server. Of course with any dish from the dinner menu, even if I were to be eating alone...I'd "owe" me and would require that I get myself drunk and take me home to molest me slimy bastard that I am, I'd have it coming to me.... the prices are a bit much.
The particular apartment that I should most likely, probably, maybe, be moving into has a balcony over looking a duck pond and if I choose to use the social activities calendar to my advantage I could get myself into a bridge league...or rip apart the moldies playing shuffle board. Eat IT! Gramps....go change your diaper! (ok...I'm not that much of a sociopath) Eat IT! Gramma now go bake me some cookies! An air rifle would guarantee a Peking meal or two.<=insert diabolical laughter and a little chew spit dribble, uh yuP. In any event it'll be twice the size of the Fishbowl so entertaining won't be like going to a club minus the music and all the hotness, including only the bumping into and splashing drinks on everyone.
This may also turn out to be a life's ruse on the part of the man upstairs and not come to flurition. It's a shot..and gosh dern it...I'm onboard. It's only a scant 3miles from my Fishbowl, but it's a difference, not like light and day, more like Third World and Vacation resort that you pay for monthly. Bev Center and batting cages two minutes away. I'm sure that some of the riff raff and hooligandry make it out that way periodically, but the Mohawk has stiff currents and swimming across from the Dirt would plum tucker out a gold medalist. There is Freeman's Bridge but the walk to there is a big'un.
I'm looking forward to the yay or nay so that I can finish packing up the shiz from the fishbowl that I haven't already discarded.

Cross yer InterWebbed fingers.

Gas

As gas prices skyrocket, I find myself not really too bothered by it. I guess deep down subconsciously their (The OIL Barons) psychological onslaught has pacified me. Here's where it winds down the road in my melon. [Take notes, there'll be a quiz]

~I pass a gas station that has the cheap shit gas for $3.10 9/10....
~I then pull into the next station that has the cheap shit for $3.08 9/10.....
~My truck isn't in the best shape and the premium would explode it's heart like a whale snorting 3 tons of cocaine.

My rationale for traveling the 1/10 of a cent of gas further...it's 2 cents cheaper...and that may be so; or is it really at that point only 1 cent cheaper?
I would still venture a guess that had I pulled into the first station I would still have the subconscious satisfaction that the Barons intended as they raised the gas prices to $3.10 9/10.

~It's not that I'm getting my money's worth in fact they're swindling me out of .9 cents.
~No one pays attention to the fraction behind the price curtain.

We look at the number and think "Sweet jumpin' Jesus on a pogostick I sure am glad that the gas isn't 3 f*ckin' dollars and .11 cents." And we are happy for a time.
When it goes up to $3.11 we'll bitch about it.... but at that point remember that it's actually $3.11 9/10

...."Christ on a Bike I sure as hell am glad it isn't $3.12 cents"

Thank you Oil Barons for saving me from ultimate gas depression/aggression.

And if you're out yonder on the West Coast....it's cheaper to buy an UZi and liberate the gas. (Prestidigitation= $$$ spent on weaponry and ammunition : preparation time away from work / loss of wages < $$$ saved on gas directly correlated to the amount of money also + saved while not driving and car maintenance, in lieu of serving creamed corn in a Federal Penitentiary $0.24hr x 8[per shift in the mess hall] along with the comforts of a few new friends)

The Quiz? .....are you going to round up or...passively enjoy the $?.?? 9/10.

That's IT

I've had it with packing, three time soon to be four in a 1 1/2yr. I believe that at this particular juncture of my existance...it's time for new stuff. Not steel and glass stuff, nor rustic antique crap...just new stuff. Including online purchases of marvel super hero boxer briefs for adults. (not too sure if I'm more of a Superman guy or a Flash guy!?, Hulk or Batman? do i need a utility belt.....definitely no Robin!)

Couch...........booted
End tables.....booted
Bookcases.....booted
Coffee mkr....booted
Frch Press.....keeper
Dishes..........booted
1/2clothing..booted
1/2shoes......booted
Lamps..........booted
Coffee table......keeper
Bed-n-fixin's....keeper
Computer.....toss up, until I get a new one

It be time to move on, grow up, and buy a couch. Where to put said couch I'm still (98 : 2) on that one. Down by the river.

Back to the grind

I'm back at work, and after checking the 200+ emails I missed in the last 10 days, getting back into the swing of things work wise, I can only say that being here is like screaming down the highway, only to blow the left rear tire and continue said screaming to a dead stop on a median guardrail at 76.4mph. High octaine roadtrip straight to mundane work an orangutan could accomplish if given enough bananas as compensation. I love bananas...especially if they live on the roof of my truck for at least one evening and are perfectly just past over ripe.

Chatting with folks for the last week, and more specifically old college and high school buddies that seem to have life by the gonads (i.e. doing what they want to do in life, making a decent wage, and gearing up for/already elbows deep in having families) makes me feel a bit odd about sticking with a low paying easy job that makes no sense with regard to 2 of my 4 majors, at night, and in the middle of social degredation. "The Dirt".

I love the adventure of hunting or a new gig, but haven't quite found the right combination of Shaggy Saavy intellectual/rudimentary skill set type stuff. At least according to the last 30 some odd places that allowed me to raise myself all the way to the second best choice. Maybe they got the memo from eachother that mentioned that I only own one suit, two sport coats and enough ties to make it through a handful of interviews. That last luncheon or dinner with the handshake that said "the job is yours" would have included a second wearing of one at least one article of clothing.

But then again, this evening the paper required 180 plates. Rote rehearsal and repetition allowed me to daydream about my past adventure and complete my daily chores here at the Gazette with little or no effort. If they only made the paper during the day..and had all the late breaking news available prior to nooner, life would be grand.

Tomorrow I pack up some more of the fishbowl and continue my search for a place to live. T-minus 16days to homelessness. It's not reallt that bad...I'm storing my belongings and probably couch surfing. So technically it'll be mailing addresslessness, and even that can be circumvented if I feel like checking mail at the 'Rent's place a couple of hours north of where ever my ass lands.

Shaggy Bob prediction for tommorrow...estimated time of wake up 2pm

THE RETURN.....Best week Ever

After the vacation I can only sum up the trip in a few words: those being "Best Week Ever". In the coming days a full epic tale will be released highlighting the trip starting with it's send off from the Albany Int'l Airport at 11:30 pm Thursday MAy 3rd and ending at the Albany Int'l Airport 11:00 AM Saturday MAY 13th. (Mileage lapse during that time was 1275.85) Prior to the epic...I would like to send thanks out to those whom made the trip an overwhelming success. If I happen to leave out a name, feel free to come visit "me" this time around and liberally kick me in the junk.

I huge thank you to our:
Lodging friends:
Grove Street Crew
The FishBowl
D.B. and Sheri
Timmy Z
The Community Court

Beverage stops:
Ton's
Maxfield's
Cantina
The Lounge
Backstreets
The Elks Club
Grove Street
Market Street Sunoco
The Puke and Choke
CJ's Kegs Cases and more
The Garrison
The Courcelles
The Funny Farm
Gritty McDuffs
Ri'-Ra
The Dock Side
The Great Lost Bear
The Original Duck
The Golden Dragon
J. Courcelle
The Stone ??? and Mr. Scott
Gaffneys
The Tin
DA's
The Ice House
The Bull Pen
The Carrara compound
......and the greater portion of every beer distributor known to man including yet not limited to forgeign and domestic brews. (there may have been an alien beer or two mixed in there somewhere, I'm a little fuzzy on the exact amount of fundage spent on libation.)

I would also like to thank:
Slim Jims
Tiajuana Mamas
Caribou coffee
Green Mountain Coffee
Poland Spring Water
Map Quest
Mobil Gas corp
Every damn toll booth between here and Maine and all points above and below
Sergie's
The Norwood Diner
Dunkin Donuts
Hannafords
and the various other stops along the way that have slipped my mind.

It was great to see everyone, the initial party was a blast..and the road trip was nothing short of stellar.
I couldn't have wished for a better traveling Monstu, I'm glad that you made it home safely and I look forward to the epic that shall be forth coming.

I would as like to offer my congradulations to all those whom let us know they were expecting! Congrats Guys!!!

Once I learn how to work the new phone, photos will be forth coming. They're aweful and can't do the vacation justice...but I'll add them at somepoint anyway.

Todays Randomness

Todays Randomness is brought to you by, roadtrips.... the word grog • \GRAHG\ • noun : alcoholic liquor; especially : liquor (as rum) cut with water and now often served hot with lemon juice and sugar sometimes added, and the number 10. (which equals the number of days I'll be off the grid vacationing).

Some days it's good to be me, sometimes it better to be me on vacation. "Suck it Trebek!"

The gravity of his theory?

F-U Newton!!!!

On the air

The autistic monkey riding the Vespa with the bowl of pudding has been done away with. I'm street legal for phone conversation again.... But I still don't/won't Text.

In less than 29hrs I'll be traveling to the Great White North with the Monstu. Friday May 4th, 0400 hours...troops are here by ordered to report for duty. The rondesvous point is: Codename CANTINA. [Cactus Grill & Cantina, 11 Raymond St, Potsdam, NY 13676. (315) 265-0240] The weapons depot is cached with Fried Icecream, the Flag Meal (burrito,enchilada,taco, refried beaners and rices) buckets of Corona...and frozen Margueritas. Cinco de Mayo minus one. Jessica will be the sequestered server, unlike Mr. Pink I do tip....because I deemed it socially acceptable. Bust out the Mariachi and lace up yer boots it's time for a South of the Northern Border showdown.

If only I had the ability to download photos from my phone you could see the flight suit, Cobra Attack helicopter flight helmet and the MRE's that have been stockpiled for the mission. Maps are charted and I await the NPG arrival from San Jose. (<=insert Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries").

T-minus 29hrs and counting...........

Switching

I switched phone service to Verizon over the weekend owing to the fact that the coverage area is better than my last plan. Check out the service coverage maps at Verizon.com...it works everywhere. I haven't recieved any calls yet (ringer currently set....Timmy and Lords of the Underworld..TimmmmAH!!!! BRLhhh, Blplrrrrtha TinnmmmAH!), and I was wondering why until I scrolled through every damn pull down menu "techno-logie isn't my friend". I called out once and the sound was a bit garbled, so I called the provider and upgraded, which rendered my phone serviceless at work, in the area around my apartment, and while inbetween work and home. That's a F-in Bonus I think. Upgrade to Less, seems like paying more should have had a different outcome if you ask me. But you haven't asked cuz I ain't got no service. (<=insert loud, vile, socially incorrect outburst of Profanity involving a bowl of pudding an autistic monkey, and a Vespa scooter). The phone costs too much to throw against a wall. In the words of the immortal NPG. "That's Super Bull-shit!!".
I hope to have the issue resolved before Thursday, although I'm not sure how much gas it will take driving around to find service to upgrade my service to a service that serves me. WTF is that all about.

Since I started this blog thing, I don't think I've posted any feel good excerpts. I'm always yiping about stuff that's gone awry and doesn't fit into the realm of normal everyday good. Someday I swear I'll do just that....but not until I can use my expensive ass serviceless phone for something other than a paperweight that isn't heavy enough to hold paper down.

I just took a picture of myself with my phone...I'll send it to you. OH WAIT!