SHAGGY BOB's New England TOUR

The next stop on the US Tour will be Waltham Mass: Labor Day Weekend for some Grillin', gettin my ass handed to me playing poker, and some beers with good ole fraternity boys. Should you be in the area Friday following 8am (I'll be hitting the red eye in the Frankensteiner to arrive in the AM after work.) the Funtruck is rollin'.

If you:.....
Have nothing to do and want to enjoy frosty beverage.
Feel Like relaxing with less than stellar conversation.
Need a healthy dropkick in the sternum.
Think you have stones enough for a game of F*CK'ed UP.
Like animals becuase the taste good.
Want to sit in the sun and dehydrate by hydration.
.........: Hit my Cel No.#

Nothing really fun has happened this week other than diner food on Monday so....., I'm hoping for a little horrification for the next few days.

FIRE IT UP!!!

Malaise

I haven't really had anything exciting in the last few day to expound on here in blogville. I've fallen into a lazy funk, made a few dinners, and generally just lost myself in crossword puzzles. I did laundry today, another adventure to yet another dirt hole of a laundr-o-mat and decided when I arrived home with my fresh clean duds that I would file them away. On the floor of my bedroom. I could easily put them in bureaus, drawers, baskets and on hangers...but it is swelteringly hot and the thought of extra effort in my current malaise was just a bit overbearing. I don't do hot lately, I think it stemmed from the round of Golf with the D.

This weekend barring a flight to some bar-b-que and beerfest I'll be cranking the AC to get down and dirty cleaning the pad, and straightening up the piles of funktapuss.

Todays Randomness is brought to you by: Glaceau Vitaminwater (Charge lemon-lime(b+electrolytes) , the word Walter Mitty • \wawl-ter-MITT-ee\ • noun : a commonplace unadventurous person who seeks escape from reality through daydreaming and the number 32.

Paycheck to paycheck we keep rollin on.

Today is a good day

Thanks to all of you that showed up at the Parting Glass,(individually I'd like to thank Me, Myself and I) for keeping ShaggyBob company, I was the only one there, but I understand that you all have lives and couldn't make it for the free pints. I didn't get around to singing any of the tunes on the ballot only because horrification wasn't my main goal for sitting at the bar. Pub Grub and pints are the way to relax on a Friday Happy Hour prior to headin out ot see a little lady.

My date with Lil MAc was awesome, we dined at the Casa deCarrarra and hit up the swing set for a little post meal fun. Saturday I ripped a round of golf with Darren on what could quite possibly be the hottest day ever. He broke a hundred, I shot a bit over but par for Shagz Von Golf'in-heim. I think my clothes were in rough shape seing as how they magically gained 15lbs of water weight in the 4hours we were getting opressed by the sun. I ventured back to the Oasis and decided that hot and hotter are a good reason for a 30rack and movies. Relaxation is the key to speed and the night flew by. I sat a hour or so inside just off my balcony and watched one hell of a thunder boomer and lighting storm the mist slightly entering my place and cooling it off a wee bit.

I had trouble sleeping Sunday after work and didn't get anymore than a hour or so this morning so I decided that It would be a great time - dirt ass early in the AM, to head to a local diner. If you aren't a fan of Pub Grub or diner foods you're unAmerican to the utmost of the statement.

I opened my copy of Schott's Miscellany and indexed the American Diner slang entry (www.miscellanies.info)....rehearsed for an hour or so and headed out on my adventure. When I got to the diner just down the road I realized I should have walked it was that close, and I was saddened by the fact that the waitresses albeit old weren't dressed like Flo from Mel's Diner the old TV Show. I sat down and was ready to order, the cleintele were mostly moldies and people reading the paper I had output the night previous. When the waitress approached I saw her little hard plastic name tag "Martha" it had a little sticker that was faded and non-recognizable... her version of Office Space flare from days gone by. She called me Sugar, plus (+1) one for the breakfast of champions already... "What'll ya have Sugar" were her exact words. I let it rip and watched for her reaction to see if she was catching what I was throwing. She was 50-60yrs old.... I was positive she would be able to handle the Jargon, but I waited in anticipation just the same.

"A Bridge of Baby Birds- Wreck'em on a Raft, Murphy and Adam's Ale, A Crowd of Bacon In the Alley, Shingles with a Shimmey, a cup of Joe with a Life Preserver, and a Lil Squeeze should do me just fine" To which she replied "4eggs, scrambled on toast, hash browns, a glass of water, two orders of bacon on the side, toast and jelly, coffee and a donut, and a small OJ....will that be all Sugar?" She smiled. "You bet darlin" was my response. She practically sauntered to the ticket window and whispered something to the greasy short order guy behind the stainless steel hearth. I couldn't help looking at her butt, I'm a guy sometimes you just look, it's ingrained in our psyche.... it was sunken and square held in by some pretty tight black waitress scrubs the loops of her apron swishing to and fro as me moved. I felt bad for a split second and questioned why I had looked in the first place and then shrugged it off. Not even 15minutes later she returned with both arms full, balancing plates like a ninja...."I threw in crowd of Zepplins for ya Honey, they're on me enjoy your meal" She had, in fact, tossed in a side order of Sausage for me. My day began sans sleep and totally in heaven. She refilled my coffes twice, I left a 50% tip.

So that was my day so far.

It's the start of a good week. maybe I'll head back to the diner tommorrow, and the next day...and so on to establish a territorial breakfast nook and be a regular.

ShaggyBob's cookin show

Lazy day today with an AM wake up left me strung out for something to do. No cable...no new good reads, whats that leave other than clenaing the Apt? You guessed it, ShaggyBob's cookin show. I'd rather cook than shave the toilet anyway. I decided on a little ditty from a Thai cookbook I snatched not too long ago. The only problem (which was easily solved con paycheck) was ingredients. The shelves in the Oasis are relatively bare seeing as how a single guy doesn't ever think to stockpile the goods for a plethera of different dishes from a multitude of nations. If it's frozen and in a box, I may have it, if not...I never get my hopes up. Box it, bag it, or freeze it, if it nukes bonerific.



This particular culinary treat is a garlic sesame ginger chicken hodge podge that smelled quite delectable. I added vidalia, some basil and some, and then some, and then a pinch more crushed red, and white peppers. It's not strictly adherant to the recipe because Shaggy doesn't play that game or buy into the fact that a few Cookin Show staples can't be added to any and everything. It's kinda like the Monstu's SCHMBashed Botatoes, there needs to be a little something something added to the mix.( Salivating and hating the fact that the Monstu is 3k miles away when I crave Smashed F'in potatoes...he makes the best trumping both my Moms and my Grams hands down<=insert drool to boot.) So I cooked the hell out of this Thai dish, fresh killed chicken tender little beasty at the farm (er, grocery), and just for good measure...even though I've only seen such a thing at Indian resturaunts whipped up a thermos of Mango Shake.




Tonight I dine in Heaven

Toga happyhour on Friday

10minutes and an idea is all it takes to be creative. The asthetics are weak and the leading, spacing, overall composition, color scheme, art, and type face need to be re-worked: what do you want from me, it was seriously 10minutes. I'll be in Toga on Friday.

The above image has nothing to do with the establishment, sorry I'm not even Almost Famous. They do have a fine selection of draft beer and Scotch, and their menu have some tasty treats. You can view their site here=>
http://www.partingglasspub.com/

I'll be relaxing for an hour or so prior to an important social engagement I have planned for the evening. I've got a date with Lil Mac. Stop on in and say hello. I'll be the tree-hugger sitting at the bar being less than Green.

SweatHogs

I'd never think that an overly obese Sweathog could make my day, but she has. I'm not being mean here, this woman may have had a lymph problem, she wasn't block out the sun large, only Orca fat, again I haven't a clue to here personal life...so I shouldn't judge her size [she had a wedding ring cutting off her circulation so bully for her, she's one up on me in that respect]. She did however wreak, an odor from not bathing for days on end, without the happy campfire smell of a long sojourn in the woods. I was at local a Stewarts shop ready to get a cup of coffee...I had run out of the good stuff and was running a bit late for work. The samoan hopped in front of me at the coffee pots obscuring my view, I tried to peer around her to no avail, it took her so long to make And drop the first cup of coffee for herself that I decided that Dunkin Donuts was a safe bet and left. I stood behind another less bohemuth mass of woman flesh at dunkin sans the stench only to have her turn and unload a hot large french vanilla w/ cream and sugar on the front to of my pants...no scaulding of course I'm a ninja. I did have to go home and change though. Today is a coffee droppin' day! The dunkin folks offered me a free coffee after the incident ...score. I left dunkin and made the pilgramage to Subway (Wednesday being the lazy day) and ordered a sub....the monkey behind the counter pulled the freshly toasted sub out of the oven and promptly dropped it on the floor, due to the long wait and the subsequent remaking of the sub he gave the new one to me at 1/2 price and threw in a free cookie..... score. Free coffee, semifree dinner and all thanks to a Sweathog for being inordinately slow and clumsy. Today started out just fine...we'll see what the shift brings....T-minus 10hrs and counting until I head back to the homestead, open the GRE materials and start getting on, getting on with my future planned adventures.

Todays Randomness

Todays Randomness is brought to you by, the Landscape Architecture Masters program @ Clemson University, the word caducity • \kuh-DOO-suh-tee\ • noun 1 : senility *2 : the quality of being transitory or perishable, and the number 2008.

I had the oppotunity to chat with a wise man this past Saturday evening over a few beers and a raging fire that opened my eyes to the fact that I'm a transient person> It's not a bad thing, I've traveled cross country a number of times, Highlighting the trips by whizzing in to the Grand Canyon, and learning to two-step in a backwoods Texas Bar. I've lived in 3different states, and had 14 different apartments, I travel extensively keeping in touch with old friends. But and haven't a clue as to whether my goals in life (which are basically touch and go at this point) are ready to set into motion. In the past 6yrs I worked at a total of 4 different jobs. A University, a museum, a Depot, and now at a newspaper. Working as a preparator/registrar, exhibition coordinator, contractor sales rep. and a graphic designer respectfully. I still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up, I already took the first step by not making smiley faces on my burgers with ketchup and mustard. I can see myself building the resume by staying put for another year or so, although I'm feeling the itch again, the itch that spurred me to move to Montana, the itch that prompted my move back the old stomping grounds, and the itch that eventually landed me working where I'm currently situated. If it was only socially exceptable to scratch with steel wool, I'd be a homebody, and litter my place with exotic plants. what's the deal with this guy and his wandering ways? Damned if I know.

I've always wanted to settle down with a little lady, and make some wee Shaggies (I enjoy the concept as well as the pre-production activities...come on who doesn't!?), but the last number of years haven't afforded me the option. Now I'm working evenings and to tell you the truth I haven't met a single person outside of my co-workers since I've been 3rd shifting it. It feels like an abysmal situation that I can't escape from. I've toyed with the idea of Grad school in the past, toyed with it, played with it, and eventually lost it under the couch or under the bed and haven't seen it in too long. The option of grad school is a good one, although my GPA puts a damper on the actual school. To get into the programs I've focused my attention on requires an overall GPA of 3.2.... I'm a bit below that standard (2.89). I'm hoping that the GPA from my majors could outweigh that seeing that it's a 3.7 along with the fact that I'm not a college meathead anymore and am ready to buckle down to reign in a new start. I've recently started looking for programs that combine all the life skills and right brained-ness that I'm under the spell of. By combining the best of all worlds I think that an Architecture degree may be right up my alley. Landscape architecture would allow me to work in numerous environments. I'm an outdoorsy kinda fellow so a berth doing planning for the DEC or a Parks and Rec group, would get me out of the office as well as allow me to get some artists figiting out of the way.

Money isn't so much a setback as it it an option, I'm hovering on the poverty level as it is, and have been since my exedus from SUNY Potsdam. In fact the only real money I've made as a professional was back when I worked for SUNY Potsdam a year removed from my graduation. Since then, I've just been living paycheck to paycheck (Overall savings account balance "I'm not ashamed to admit" is a lump sum total of $11.45) If I should be accepted into a grad program, I don't see tacking another 30 or 40 grand on top of the already gargantuan student loan shite pile I've been slowly shoveling, as problematic.

The mind set of a college student is such that, school is school, college is for partying being social, eventual degrees will open doors (at least that's what I was thinking the 7yrs I stayed in the trenches). Hindsight is 20 X 20. I'm pretty confident in applying myself should the opportunity arise to look at the education process in a different light, that of a business or job. Albeit a job that you pay for instead of receiving reimbursement. Different mindset + itch to move = wonder as to whether I can successfully make another change and be happy with it.

I'll have to continue to do the do and keep my eyes open.

Todays Randomness

Shaggy Bob's Home style Asian fusion cookin show goodness. General Zoro's Chicken and Sticky Rice, Tso's is weak by comparison.... Zoro is gauranteed to fire in the belly. And what you may ask makes General Zoro's Chicken that much better that General Tso's?
Vidallia onions, pomegranite, and a sweet red bell, HOTTtttt RODdddddd!

Today's randomness is brought to you by, Chuck and Sharla's b-day gifts cookin' show, the word contradictanym, contradictanyms are words that have opposing meanings depending on the context in which they are used, and the number of moons revolving around mercury ( 0 ).

You must BOLT the door or he will BOLT for the door.
FLOG a horse in order to FLOG the horse-meat.
GARNISH that dish or I will GARNISH your earnings.
Secure it with a BUCKLE or it will BUCKLE under the weight.
Please SCREEN us from the film they are about to SCREEN.
Though CRITICAL in his comments he was CRITICAL to our success.
You can see the stars are OUT once the lights are OUT.
It is everyday CUSTOM to have suits CUSTOM made.
It was an OVERSIGHT to give him OVERSIGHT of the project.
I will FIX the gate in order to FIX the race.
Bind him FAST to prevent a FAST getaway.
He was only a QUALIFIED success although he is fully QUALIFIED

UHhhhhhhhhhh

WON THE LOTTERY!!! I won big time. So much for the next round of paychecks at the Gazette, it's already spent. I'm ok with that though. The next project will be a new starter if any indication can be gleaned from the number of times I restarted the already running mouse quiet Frankensteiner (3-since it was finished, 1hrs ago). Looks like a "home entertainment center of the huge testies" has to wait.

I'm getting pretty psyched for the weekend. Traveling again, this time to 'Cuse, for some backyard reindeer games with Miss Karlie and Miss Julie. I'd cancel due to the enormous hit I took from the muff-deal, but that just isn't an option.

Bets anyone?

THIS IS NOT MY TRUCK, there aren't enough dings, dents, scratches, keymarks, carcases, and bird droppings... but one can always imagine they way it used to be, back in the day when a new vehicle was the T*Ts, and you puffed out your chest at the mere mention of your battle chariot.

I'm playing the lottery tommorrow and it doesn't involve a vending machine...er, well in a way I guess it does. Tommorrow at 3pm I'll be playing the Muffler Lottery. Since the old muffle-dirt is somewhere on the Northway causing havoc I'll be getting a new one. Now I'm not too sure what exactly has to be replaced. I've never actually looked at the exhaust system under the Frankensteiner (while it was intact) So....I'm playing the lottery, with hopes that the grease monkey doesn't have elephantitis of his gorilla sized mitts to ball up and thunder into any of my orafices.

It will have only been 5days of driving around sounding like a tricked out Harley with extra attitude. I don't know if I'll miss the badass rumble. It'll definitely cut down on the "are they staring at me and my busted ass truck" syndrome I've been copping as of late. After the monkeys tinker around under the truck, touching it all over, and eventually screwing a new muffler into it...I'm going to a full service car wash to make it feel less dirty, and give it a full tank of premium gas. I bet even inanimate objects feel a bit violated when they have a procedure done that rivals a colonoscopy, and trucks don't eat icecream.

Golfing

I finally got to enjoy my first golf outing of the year. I shot an 66, not bad for the first time out. I wasn't jumping out of my spikes at all, it was a par 3 course, and we only played the front 9. I can honestly say that I'm an atrocious golfer. I did have that single moment of greatness that will keep me heading back out to do it all over again. Par3, 145yd downhill to the green, and I stuck my tee shot 6ft from the pin. That was the extent of happiness all day. The snack bar didn' take plastic so I was beer and greasy burgerless as well. I think the lack of beverage put us over the edge and pushed the decision to not let me make any more of a fool of myself swinging the sticks.

I was driving home from the 'rents place Saturday to head out golfing and I lost something pretty important from my truck. 70mph, and my truck is distinctively louder...I lost a portion of my muffler. Not sure how much that'll run to get fixed, or where the parts are, but I have to do it quickly or the neighbors will be up in arms. If I don't get it repaired I may as well just pay on the horn when I get to my parking space in the am. I think the decible range is similar.

Todays Randomness

Today's Randomness is brought to you the by Art and Architecture of Florence, the word erudite • \AIR-uh-dyte\ • adjective
: possessing or displaying extensive knowledge acquired chiefly from books : learned, and the number 1276.

What do........

What do ALzheimers grocery shopping, sushi, and clue number 117 down from the August 5th Sunday L.A. Times crossword puzzle have in common? ...........I did them all today.

I started my day; sans sleeps again, doing some cleaning and starting the LA times crossword. I eventually decided that cashing my paycheck would be a good thing and headed to the local supermarket that has a bank branch conveniently located within. While I was cashing my check a foot shuffler approached the counter and was a bit off center. She was chatting with the little lady behind the counter as if she knew her and was babbling about anything and something at the same time. The girl looked at me and did an obvious eye roll signifying that she had no idea in the world who this lady was. The elderly woman used her name (her own name) in the conversation. The girl behind the bank counter was at a loss, so after I received my receipt I turned to the elderly woman [kicked a wink at the teller] and used her name in passing conversation about how her morning was treating her. From there we bantered back and forth, me gleaning anything and everything from the conversation I could to try and help her with chivalric intentions. She was shopping and lost her cart...saw her "friend" at the bank counter and was in need of assistance. ( I doubt Alzheimers had anything to do with it, but I listed it previously). Martha and I then meandered through the store and located her cart, and I was obliged to accompany her around the food aisles helping her locate all the items she had on her list. She was doing quite well, and half the list was already taken care of, she just needed help finding a few items. I pushed the cart and kept up the conversation. Her son was on vacation in Belize, or Florida or some ofther country, so she said, she missed him and her grandchildren. On our way to the checkout we were approached by a frantic 40 something, who had been to the customer service center and was paging Martha in an effort to locate her. I hadn't noticed the paging...it wasn't my name. Apparently Martha was a resident at an assisted living home on an outing, doing some shopping to help her stay in tune with her regular life and on top of her game as it were. Her chaperone thanked me for taking the time....I felt generally good. Selfishness with regard to a random situation accomplished. I think random acts of kindness are the way to go. When I'm a dirty little old man (cause I will be a DIRTY Old man someday) I will no doubt receive some help at one point or another, and think back to the time I helped Martha in a "Pay if Forward" sort of way. Martha gave me a hug and we parted ways.

I then went shopping for myslef (yup myslef) and purchased some sushi rice, rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, some tuna, powdered Wasabi, Nori, and some other things to roll up for din din. Upon retuning to my place I set to work and made some of the ugliest sushi rolls known to man. I know they'll taste good, but they look pretty sad. The tuna wasn't sushi grade... I didn't want to spend that much money for raw fish although I should have. (If you know me I'm no seafood person, but the Monstu turned me onto Tuna prepared correctly and I enjoy it immensely) I definitely had time during the day to head over to Avon Meatland and get the good stuff. Anyway the sushi was rolled poorly I mixed the wasabi, failed to remember washing my hands post wasabi mixin' and had to whiz (NSFW) Dick Burn. Not cool, but a pretty serious endorphin rush I can tell you...didn't bother with a shower and basically [if you're not a single guy you'll find this remotely disturbing] washed the wang in the bathroom sink. Much better.

Good deed for the day accomplished, non burningwang and dinner prepared I sat down for a few hours and hit up the afore mentioned ccrossword. Usually it takes me a week, and more often than not longer to finish one of these, that includes random calls to Timmy Z and the Monstu for a bit of asssitance. I finished the entire puzzle all by my lonesome. Barring the few clues in the morning it only took me 2 hours. I felt SMRT.

This evening I'm working on car ads for the paper, they're the bain of my existance but I'm not that phased right now. The bonus of the evening will be the dinner break which I should be able to wrench out an extra half hour for.

Overall today was a 8 on the worth scale and is a significant jump from the last week of hovering around 4 or 5.

Todays Randomness

Today's randomness is brought to you by, sleep ,the word extirpate • \EK-ster-payt\ • verb *1 a : to destroy completely : wipe out b : to pull up by the root 2 : to cut out by surgery, and the number 0

US, lazy?

Think of anyone in the world being lazy? I bet it was a person in the good old U.S. of A. I caught myself in that boat today while in the supermarket. I was in the frozen food section thinking about what I was going to cook for dinner when I passed it. A large purple box of goodness that I couldn't stop looking at as I was walking. Uber Lazy trumps lazy in this case for sure. I was thinking of some light fare, nothing too hot, I wasn't in the mood to sweat. So I snagged the hometown food goodness of my childhood, only it was prepackaged, frozen and already to be consumed with a 1hr thawing time left out on the counter. I'm talking about none-other than a Smuckers brand product. The epitomy of lazy, and quite possibly the best damn invention since sliced bread with peanut butter and jelly.

"Uncrustables" Sweet Jumpin Jesus on a Purple Pogostick. 10 to a box, slightly less than my average meal...but the friggin crust has already been nixed in the dealy. I can't say I have any disdain for myself or my purchase, they're good. Nothing tastes better than a PB&J that someone else makes for you. I can't remember if I've mentioned it in the past, but that's the way things work. Try it sometime.... get out PB&J mixin's and a friend. Each of you make 2 sandwiches exactly the same, same ingredients, same knife, same amounts (measure if you wish or just eyeball it) Gauranteed the trade off of one of your pals sandwiches will taste better than the one you made for yourself. And visa versa. Sad that lazy is a factor in our society, lazy to the pinnacle of laz when you can't be forced to get the ingredients and make peanut butter and jelly sandwich opting for a frozen round crustless pocket of the Gods.

I'm lazy. There's no helping me.. but at east I'll enjoy my slothily glutonous uncrustable sandwiches for the next 15minutes. They're practically bitesized. Snowman says they're definitely bitesized although I think they're bigger than a standard Zebra Cake.

Poor sleeping habits

I'm back to a super ridiculous sleeping schedule befitting the graveyard shift. All it takes is good book, the AC, and a decent reading lamp for a great reason to once again get into the habit of falling asleep when most of the civilized world is just emerging to start their day. If you happen to sleep in and start your day at 10am. I crashed out at 10am, and got up for work at 4pm, what was I thinkin. Nothing that's just it, I ignored the new born baby 15ft away in the adjacent apt building(both our windows were open and I wasn't the one screaming bloody murder). The baby birds newly hatched next to the Air Conditioner were boisterous, I wasn't making a peep. Even the weed whackers and mowing that sounded like they were on my pillow didn't really matter. From 3:30am tp 9am it was uninterrupted reading time for me.

I started a compilation of Stephen King Short stories. Even he has admitted that his writing style is poor, and he isn't the best prose generator in the world, very far from it. I do find that his musings are heavy and weighted with everyday substance. Thee(s) and thou(s) aren't given a chance. Cursing is used where appropriate. He's suspenseful, but you can feel the human character exhibited from his pro/antagonists. I'm a horror fan yes, but the collection I'm reading now isn't full of thrillers, it doesn't make me sleep with the covers over my head. The stories are familiar ones with most of us. The Breathing Method, The Body (Stand By Me), Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (The Shawshank Redemption), The Apt Pupil (Apt Pupil). I've also finished The Eyes of the Dragon. Not that I want to blow his HORN but his writing keeps me locked in and I can't put it down. It's also in large print for the most part and I don't like reading at night with my glasses. [If you wear glasses you know that the worst thing in the world is to fall asleep with them on and then wake to find a new discombobulated warped monstrocity that you have to untangle and can't refit to your melon. mentally you know that all day you're wearing crooked glasses, even if unpreceptable to the masses, you know they're F@cked up, man that's annoying]

So I'm reading Stephen King, after A Tale of Two Cities...it's light reading. "I'm trying to explain my reading habits to people that don't care aren't I?" well, I'm almost finished with it anyway and I think I'm going to be the bookworm this Saturday and spend all day at Barnes and Noble looking for a fresh batch of classics. If you make it to the Barnes and Noble in Toga-town on Saturday say hello, I'll be the hippy thinking about looking for reading material.... hopelessly stuck in front of the art/history section drooling on my fleece vest. I'll walk away for a few minutes at a time then mindlessly gravitate back to open an arthistory book that eclipses my truck payments in price and weighs 35lbs. I'll be doing that all day until I'm stuck and can't focus on purchasing anything.... relegated to walking out of the joint empty handed.

I'm now glad I festered this weekend

After delivering the Police blotter for print in tommorrow's paper. I'm glad that I didn't go out this past weekend. It was Hot in the city, hot to the tune of 6 full page columns of Police blotter criminals. That's not really a good thing......

(hushed).... When I was little we find a man --(she struggles for the words) -- like a butcher. The old ones in the village cross themselves and whisper crazy things. 'Demonio, cazador de trofoes...Only the hottest times of the hottest years...' Crazy things...This year is grows hot. And we begin finding our men. We find them sometimes without their skin. Sometimes...much, much worse. Cazador de trofoes...means the demon who takes trophies.

I was seeing things on my way to dinner this evening, everywhere I looked there were red dots emenating from random places around town. Maybe it was just my imagination. Put the guns down and walk away.....it's not worth it.





I doubt we could get Jesse "the body" Ventura and Arnold in the same place right now. To whip things into shape.

I'm not carrying the knife in my truck anymore, just the "buzzsaw" rescue wedge for skull splitting, stroke saving in the rough fun. Maybe I'll actually put it back in my golf bag at somepoint.

A relaxing weekend?

I was fortunate enough this past weekend to stay at home and not travel for the first time in about 2months to some shindig or other. I was exhausted from the previous 8weekends of rockstar and thought that being at my place; in addition to being a convenient place to sleep, would make for a pretty good bit of down time. It turns out that I'm a social creature, I detest being my lone soul company. I get angry with me for no reason, I'm boring and I really don't have an ounce of ability to function when not gathered with a group of people with which to joke, imbibe and be merry. At least someone to sit around and not speak to.... I need peeps. I had the only personal interaction of the weekend when I visited the laundr-o-mat. I'm not very nice to people when they're eyeballing my underoos. It was hot, expensive, and took forEvaaar. They had PEZ in one of the candy machines so I popped Pez candy and watched as the dryers mesmorized me into tears of boredom.
I bought some movies to occupy my time and that didn't do it. I started working on the new painting mapping out the composition of random bars and colors, that wasn't cool. I made a tasty feast without someone to share it with. I was overwhelmed with it not being the best damn thing ever And picked it apart noting the changes that needed to be made....then cooked it again... it sucked the second time too. I had a few beers, watched some more movies...finished another book, I may as well have just been staring at a wall in a catatonic stupor, nothing felt satisfying and or accomplished.

I decided to come to work early today just to be able to speak to my co-workers. I've decided that my life can be pretty lame at times. It's tough to be a pack animal and spend a few days as the lonewolf. But I have clean underwear so I guess the weekend on the whole wasn't a total wash.

My name is Shaggy and I'm a social creature. I would drag on and elaborate my mindset of the weekend more, digging into the whole thing in a pseudo-psychological way but that would be more depressing.

Homer,Homer, Homer

You know the drill,

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See you at the rondezvous point.

ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment

A word to all whom have difficulties controling themselves in public. I'm not saying being an @sshole; or behaving badly, but rather with regard to bodily functions.

When in line at the supermarket, if you are not younger than 3, nor 90 years young you have no excuse. It makes it very uncomfortable to be standing in line with food stuffs when there is the wreaking stench of someones rectal air wafting into others' chest cavities. (the air directly from your ass doesn't have a place in my lungs) I can understand a slip, but not the over powering full blast drop of flatulence that stays in the air as if you've liberally dumped a steamer in your pants and have the audacity to fester in it. I have lived in a fraternity house and I can understand the humor in a well timed volumous fart, not so much when holding peppers and lettuce. I was in checkout line number 4 today at the Glenville Hannafords. Someone stunk. The line was moving slowly, and I stood patiently behind numerous other patrons that were under the spell of funk. I wondered the entire time who could have possibly dropped the bomb. If you have a pensity to eat 8cans of baked beans at a time, or anyother gaseous food...excuse yourself and leave the ass somewhere else. I was in line for what seemed like an eternity. I would only feel bad about this post if it were not the actual cashier, but it was. The stench stayed and got more intense as I approached the credit card swipe. Most places of business have policies allowing workers a couple of 15min breaks throughout the day. Use them and evacuate the flatulate in a timely manner. I don't want your stink on my asparagus, I don't want to have to hear you tee hee and smile that cute little smile at me, chatting me up when you know damn well that you're tiny little 18yr old ass is making me gag. You're cute....yes, but you have the power of the devil and it's leaking profusely out of you. Call the manager, take a break, chomp down some beano or something. I will wait in line if that be the case...your register won't suffer. Nothing turns a normal guy off more than a blatent show of irritable bowel syndrome. That my dear young lass is socially unacceptable. It's unfortunate because the thought popped into my head as soon as all the other patrons had floated through your stink patch. "You will forever be known to me and the Green Goblin"

Note to everyone "J**** the girl at Hannafords is now to be addressed as the Green Goblin" please use said name when standing in the cesspool that is checkout lane #4