Thanks to all of you that showed up at the Parting Glass,(individually I'd like to thank Me, Myself and I) for keeping ShaggyBob company, I was the only one there, but I understand that you all have lives and couldn't make it for the free pints. I didn't get around to singing any of the tunes on the ballot only because horrification wasn't my main goal for sitting at the bar. Pub Grub and pints are the way to relax on a Friday Happy Hour prior to headin out ot see a little lady.
My date with Lil MAc was awesome, we dined at the Casa deCarrarra and hit up the swing set for a little post meal fun. Saturday I ripped a round of golf with Darren on what could quite possibly be the hottest day ever. He broke a hundred, I shot a bit over but par for Shagz Von Golf'in-heim. I think my clothes were in rough shape seing as how they magically gained 15lbs of water weight in the 4hours we were getting opressed by the sun. I ventured back to the Oasis and decided that hot and hotter are a good reason for a 30rack and movies. Relaxation is the key to speed and the night flew by. I sat a hour or so inside just off my balcony and watched one hell of a thunder boomer and lighting storm the mist slightly entering my place and cooling it off a wee bit.
I had trouble sleeping Sunday after work and didn't get anymore than a hour or so this morning so I decided that It would be a great time - dirt ass early in the AM, to head to a local diner. If you aren't a fan of Pub Grub or diner foods you're unAmerican to the utmost of the statement.
I opened my copy of Schott's Miscellany and indexed the American Diner slang entry (www.miscellanies.info)....rehearsed for an hour or so and headed out on my adventure. When I got to the diner just down the road I realized I should have walked it was that close, and I was saddened by the fact that the waitresses albeit old weren't dressed like Flo from Mel's Diner the old TV Show. I sat down and was ready to order, the cleintele were mostly moldies and people reading the paper I had output the night previous. When the waitress approached I saw her little hard plastic name tag "Martha" it had a little sticker that was faded and non-recognizable... her version of Office Space flare from days gone by. She called me Sugar, plus (+1) one for the breakfast of champions already... "What'll ya have Sugar" were her exact words. I let it rip and watched for her reaction to see if she was catching what I was throwing. She was 50-60yrs old.... I was positive she would be able to handle the Jargon, but I waited in anticipation just the same.
"A Bridge of Baby Birds- Wreck'em on a Raft, Murphy and Adam's Ale, A Crowd of Bacon In the Alley, Shingles with a Shimmey, a cup of Joe with a Life Preserver, and a Lil Squeeze should do me just fine" To which she replied "4eggs, scrambled on toast, hash browns, a glass of water, two orders of bacon on the side, toast and jelly, coffee and a donut, and a small OJ....will that be all Sugar?" She smiled. "You bet darlin" was my response. She practically sauntered to the ticket window and whispered something to the greasy short order guy behind the stainless steel hearth. I couldn't help looking at her butt, I'm a guy sometimes you just look, it's ingrained in our psyche.... it was sunken and square held in by some pretty tight black waitress scrubs the loops of her apron swishing to and fro as me moved. I felt bad for a split second and questioned why I had looked in the first place and then shrugged it off. Not even 15minutes later she returned with both arms full, balancing plates like a ninja...."I threw in crowd of Zepplins for ya Honey, they're on me enjoy your meal" She had, in fact, tossed in a side order of Sausage for me. My day began sans sleep and totally in heaven. She refilled my coffes twice, I left a 50% tip.
So that was my day so far.
It's the start of a good week. maybe I'll head back to the diner tommorrow, and the next day...and so on to establish a territorial breakfast nook and be a regular.