Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Type A is for "........."

4 dealers, 3 bank twits and a good many offers later I'm ready to get all Cheese & Crackers Postal on the next yahoo that acts like a conniving drill sargent with need for new hottub. I'm bringing my 3wood to the next round of ridiculosity.

I've dealt with Lee, (although it wasn't his fault I looked like I couldn't afford to buy a used Ford Festiva, I dressed down for and looked the part of hobo, complete with a half pony tail disheveled beyond bedhead, and a stain on my shirt). He was Type A+. Here's the break down in terms of Car Salesmen. "Notice prospect eyeing a vehicle: Approach, Greet, Qualify, Qualify, Qualify, Qualify, Test Drive, Qualify, Qualify, Recieve offer, Trial Close, Trial Close, Counter close, Counter Offer, Credit Check, Trial Close, back to manager make him sweat, Stay just out of the realm of reasonable, Trial Close...... Get called an Ass-clown Prospect walks out. NO Hottub, Eat a Dick Lee!

I've dealt with Kenneth, (more respectable now, I brought a clean change of clothes) "Notice prospect eyeing a vehicle: Approach, Greet, Qualify ->Repeat, Offer Test Drive, Qualify, Recieve Offer, Trial Close, Trial Close, Trial Close, Credit Check, Make him sweat, Counter Close, Trial Close, mention something that really gets on someones nerves like "You have shitty credit" verbatim, Get told "peace out". NO Hottub, Sucka Fart Kenneth!

I've dealt with George, (we're in Upstate NY, not NYC) "Step outta line ya get whacked", Notice prospect eyeing a vehicle: Thunder out into the lot and be a close talker, Qualify ->Repeat, Qualify ->Repeat, Get closer you may be hard of hearing or he may just not speak that loud, Recieve Offer, Counter offer with coffee, Get on his good side, Again "ya step out outta line ya get whacked" Trial Close, Credit Check, "Yoos ain't gots de bets credit" See what you can do for Prospect to move the vehicle off the lot, Counter Close, Trial Close, say you'll find a better lender, Get Hand Shake from Prospect and have a smoke with him. KIDDIE Pool, Rock-on Big George, you get the first call back and perhaps some leeway on my end.


I've dealt with Dennis, (Mousy, Veteran, unconventional) Notice prospect eyeing a vehicle: Wait for Prospect to Approach Showroom, Ask how shaggymutt's day is going, Request more info as to why Prospect is looking into a particular vehicle, Qualify, Offer Coffee, Mention Lake St. Catherine Vacation Home 10mi from prospects Hometown (how the fuck did he know I was from Granville NY? This guy's good) Qualify, Get Offer, Counter Offer with incentives, Check Credit [huh, wouldn't you F-in know it, Prospect has great credit] Look at Offer and Requested Extras, "new tires, extended warranty and whatnot", Bring in Manager, Tag-Team Prospect with options to make the purchase work with financial background and history, Offer free stuff to keep Prospect interested, Trial Close, Prospect needs better APR-> work for Prospect & call 24hrs later (tommorrow) with lower APR/monthly payment schedule. HOTTUB, Dennis you sly dog you, I'm ready to throw fuckin money your way for that damn vehicle. MF'in P.I.M.P

And there it is.... I sit and wait, with a Cashiers check by my phone. Dennis and Big George are the two big winners.

I'll be out of the office after this evening until SAT night when hopefully I'll be driving to work in my new whip. Then another 3days off. I'll post the contest flyer Wednesday evening when/if I drive off the lot with the new wheels in the next few days.

1st Choice, Steel Blue
2nd Choice, Maroon /Burg

"I don't have to take this kind of abuse from YOU, I have thosands of people witing to abuse ME"

No comments: