Sunday, January 7, 2007


I've finally gotten the cobwebs out out of my brain, it's amazing that the human body can right itself so quickly after any sort of trauma. All the stiffness is practically gone, and I can think clearly. On a scale of 1-10 ten being the worst ever, I give my last bundy a rating of 8. I've never been higher than 8, and it's been a number of years since I had thought to use the chart. I've been careful, safe and not broken anything for quite soemtime. I guess it stands to reason that a person that once made a daily routine out of getting wrecked in some way, after taking a few years off, is bound to crash at somepoint.

Now that I can work with out my eyes glazed over, and read without shaking my head in time with my eyes twitching, things should be just dandy.

I didn't have to opportunity to try out any sales people this weekend, but I'll be on the path to a new car in the following few days. I've been contacted by some really intense internet sales people ready to make a deal which will undoubtedly make them feel better about purching their 14th Rolex. OR not?! that's where I'm leaning. I think the best strategy for me at this point is to treat them like a telemarketer...I love keeping those slugs on the phone until they've exhausted their last breathe in the eternal plug for money until I politely inform them I'm really not interested in the slightest bit to purchase a time share condo with a nice group of doctors. so that I can spend 3weeks a year in hurricane alley on some mosquito infested atoll in the Gulf of Mexico. At least when they're talking to me they're not pestering you right?

I have a number of business cards from the people I contacted, I think they teleported them to me. I spoke with a nice young lady on Thursday afternoon, and when I got to work an hour later I already had her card in my pocket. "when you get to the lot, ask for Susan" (I'll do that, yup I'll do exactly that...but only after I talk to the vultures wandering around the lot, giving them the option to waste their own time). Uh no I was hoping to talk to Susan, Chester...but thanks for telling me all the super awesome features of the Ford Focus wagon...I'm seriously considering purchasing a sub compact car at this point in my life...and nothing says mid-life crisis more than piss yellow Ford Focus screaming down the Northway. In fact I want to compensate for the relatively small wang in my pants, my lack of a girlfriend, and my thin frame....could I look at some scooters?


Leather jacket, ripped jeans, Marlboro man type shit. F'YEAH

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