Monday, January 8, 2007

First Shot




Just like every other dude on the planet, ones' first thought after waking up is to empty the bladder. If it's not your immediate thought as well, you're not a dude. ( Brusing teeth and washing yourself can come in a distant runner-up) After rousing yourself from the bed, moving over cracking toes on a cold ceramic floor to the can, you get to take aim and whizz. This is the point where you can significantly judge how your day will go from that point hence and prepare yourself for a day of destruction or a day free from relative aggravation.

Here's how you judge. If you stand in front of the porcelain take aim and power bubble a nice healthy whizz into the center of the bowl...you're in good shape....everything should be fine for the rest of the day. If alternatively you stand fast in front of the porcelain bowl unleash the power whiz and hit the shower curtain, floor, or the tank pissing sideways....and then have to torque yourself to make the stream eventually land in toilet water, it's a safe bet that the rest of your day will be devestatingly uneven.

From my observation it's harder to cook breakfast and not burn the toast if the latter happens to be the case.. It may be that I'm the only one flusterdd by such an occurance, but then again I'm not a fan of wiping up my own urine from around the bathroom with a make shift mop of wadded toilet paper. You may or not get disgruntled by the same experience, hell, maybe you delight in the fact that outdoor plumbing indoors means that you can hose anything down when and if you feel the urge.

5 comments:

Willem said...

That's why I use the sink. It eliminates the possibility of missing and guarantees that I will have a great day.

Shaggy Bob said...

Kitchen sink or Bathroom sink? I can see the point in either direction.

Willem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Willem said...

No, I reserve the kitchen sink solely for the mornings after Full Moon Madness at Margarita's. Three cheese burrito with beans and a gallon of tequila. Good times.

Kate said...

Boys are gross. I am never sleeping with my husband again.