Thursday, January 4, 2007

TRuck repairs

After spending a great amount of time with all the R's refitting, refurbishing, replacing, realigning, refiltering, rebuilding, I've decided that I'm still going to look for a new vehicle. I've also decided that I'm not going to look for a new ussed vehicle...I'm ready to purchase a mode of transportation that I can beat into the ground, rather than buy transport that has already had the proverbial shite pounded out of it by a previous owner only to inherit the problems.

I sent out a feeler and wouldn't you know it...all the local dealers are ready to play ball. I've been contacted by sales people from every area dealership and I'm ready to get rolling. All of these Sales people have already struck me as Type A personlaities and I'm not prone to working well with that particular brand of individual especially if I'm going to be spending 5years giving them money. I will say that I've done my research and that I'm ready for all their games. If I happen to hear "This car was made for you" or "You're taking food out of my baby's mouth" I'm ready with witty rebuttal. If in fact the cliches happen to come up in conversation I doubt that I alone would be taking food out a baby's mouth if the sales person in question is making 25k a month. That equals bad parenting and a frivolous life style, something that is another topic altogether. I'll just politely tell the person "a rolex would feed his/her child all damn year....send in another drone I'm finished with this one". "If the car was made for me....why didn't they drop it off at my place, that's a wicked re-gift"

In my research I found a web address that was quite helpful I recommend checking it out.

In any event now that the Frankensteiner now has a new heater, heating fan, starter and transmission I'm sure it'll be around until summer. So my new plan is to spend Fridays lazily moseying to dealerships in a quest to beat the sysytem. Since car selling is a game of wills, dominance, and being able to push your opponent into a situation that he or she feels comfortable in and also thinks is getting the better of you. I'm game. In fact I'm going to take three months to just play the game itself, and see if I can get their hopes up only to smash them down into little pieces. The Type A's will look at me as a no-buyer, and pawn me off on someone who actually gives a rats-ass.

The waiting game is one way for sales people to show their dominance, "I'll go talk to the manager" twenty minutes later you've already exhausted your supply of boogers, had your thumb in your butt not once but twice, an you could recite the names in the plaque on the wall from memory. After returning and leaving the 4th time it gets abit annoying. I'm going to break that mold and here's how,

I'm going to bring one of each of the following:
A YoYo
An Application to the 2007 Air Guitar World Championships
A walkman circa 1982 w/o batteries. Laugh go ahead, I have one and I'm bringing it and practicin' in the showroom
A calculator
(those of you who know me, know I'll need this Shaggy can't Add) if you type 58008 it spells BOOBS upside down
A drawing pad and brush tipped marker
Two apples ( Or them if you prefer)
A copy of How To Master The Art Of Selling, I'll read it upside down while waiting
And a list of demands which need to be met

The vehicle must sit higher than a normal sized car ( I'm night blind and get anxious in oncoming traffic)
I own two CD's I want a two disc changer or the manual equivalent.
It has to have built in cup holders
I have to be able to sleep in it.
It must be able to stow my golf clubs while I sleep in it.
It must have a bed, box, or roof rack.
I have to look good in it, not for anyone else for pure narcissistic vanity.
The driver side windshield wiper fluid dispenser must shoot the fluid over the cab missing the windshield entirely
(I'm so used to it already why change it) get it done
The payments must be at or below my current buttfisting rates.

I look forward to my first forray into the Dealership Woods.

If by chance you have any advice, clog up the comments, I'll do anything short of creating jail time for myself.

How can I consciously do such a thing with the car sales people and their valuable time you ask?? I have the social skills of a beaten fighting pitbull and I'm evil or if you prefer I have a secret. (My secret, I have good credit and two banks ready to give me a blank check with 4.9% APR: that's 4.9% locked until June). Scary, Bob's gots credit. whoa take a breath!


Sara said...

When we bought our Honda we had Harry with us...not fun, but it made the salesguy work slightly faster, I think. When the salesguy came back from talking with 'the managers' about our trade-in (which we did not want to trade in) and presented their best offer, he asked what we thought. For the first time in my life I was witty on the spot, and said "Gee, I don't know. I guess we'll have to go talk to our people". Have fun with the vultures.

Shaggy Bob said...

I can't wait, I'd ask to borrow Harry...but that's just a bit off the wall. Although it would be funny if I could have his advice when the Sales Peeps returned and interupted our crayola crayon coloring composition extravaganza. I'd make them wait until Harry was comfortable with the aesthetic beauty of the creation prior to acknowledging their return. : )