Tuesday, February 13, 2007

AXE

I tried out an experiment this morning, and I've either disproven the commercial renditions, or set a new precedence. I decided before showering that I would test the Axe smell test in town. The difference is only that I have 6different kinds of axe and they haven't as of late afforded me with a very attractive lady tackling me, knocking me down, jumping me, and or showing the least bit interest. I figured the more you use the better the reactions right?
SO...I used all six profusely...and went to the minimart to get gas for my truck. Immediately upon entering the store to pay for said gas...the girl behind the counter reacted. Her nose scruntched up, and she almost gagged. This can be viewed one of two ways. 1.) She was so enraptured by my scent that she couldn't help but twist her face into a grotesque grimace to keep from launching over the counter with lustful thoughts, or 2.) She was going to vomit from the intense yearning for me as a sexy beast wearing the plethora of intoxicating smells and could only hope to contain herself but thinking of eating some revolting Survivor-esque bug based meal. In any event I was finally able to illicit a response by wearing Axe body spray...
Next step...finding the right person with which to share the stank.

In order not to attract the women I work with thus confusing the work relationship I have and camaraderie at the Gazette, after my experiment I washed my bad filthy self, and used only one stench. In the elevator a random dayside worker; I believe a photographer, commented that I smelled "nice". I pushed the "close door" button.....

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