Thursday, February 22, 2007

Weekend Wit the Fam

I'm looking forward to the weekend hanging out with the Bro and Sis, having a bite to eat and poking fun of at my Mom's Dick.

There may be something inherantly wrong with that statement..but I don't give a damn, you'd have to see the Dick to understand. I'll elabrate so that you all don't think of me as the spawn on a hermaphroditey She/he King of Queens. My step father, my Dad named Richard {i.e. Dick}...he's gruff, hard tempered, and set in his ways...when I was little I always thought of him as being a DICK. What a dick that guys is. SO..he's my Mom's dick. The older I get the more I think of him as Dad...he may be a gruff grumpy old man, but he always was a good provider for the moms and our family, both financially and humorously.

Funny example of dickness, maybe not for you but I get a kick out of it. {scene: slowly blur to dream like memory......}

How many of you can remember raking leaves in the backyard? How many of you never did it right? How many of you had an overly tempestous hard ass telling you how to correctly rake fuckin leaves? Here's the kicker, he was always a fan of using the statement "do it right or don't do it at all"... bad call pop-dukes. On numerous occasions my bro and I would be raking leaves in an incorrect manner of course...cuz only the rake HE had was working correctly. He'd get flustered at the inability of two teenage brothers to correclty move leaves from scattered disarray to a comglomerate pile and out came the statement "Do it right or don't do it at all"...the first three times it was said we (my brother and I) looked at each other quizingly(sp), the fourth through the I can't remember how many times later.....[Gut laugh] envisioning an tempestous hard ass with a gawking blank stare. Camera Pan left to right, midthigh to ground slo motion: As two leaf rakes float to the ground in infront of two sets of bluejeans and hightops walking off camera <=insert favorite pulp fiction overtune).
I CHOOSE DON"T DO IT AT ALL....AHAHAhahhahahhahahahhahaha DICK!

I'd attach a picture...but that would invade my Mom's privacy with her Dick.

1 comment:

Kate said...

I believe that my mother has balls of steel, but I don't think she actually has a Dick. Maybe someday... we all need goals.