Monday, February 26, 2007

Water Main Break 2007

Three days without water.....You would think that a city of 60+ thousand people would have a repair crew jumping at the chance to fix a busted pipe. It's a big deal...but nothing that can't be overcome with a little ingenuity and a carefree attitude. I've melted snow to wash myself, and went out and purchased umpteen gallons of bottled natural spring water that no doubt came from the Mohawk river and a local distribution center. It reminds me of the time I spent in Montana living on the outer rim at the Ponderossa. The Ponderossa was a great little house made of red clap board located just off the Gallatin River. There was some large beasty living under the floor boards, but we had an unwritten rule..beasty wouldn't come in and i woudn't have to bust out opposable thumbs and kill it. For $500 dollars a month I was able to live a frontiersman's life, collecting water from the river to continue with daily cleaning and food preparation, chop wood, and light gaslamps/candles. For a mere 500bones a month I lived without running water and electricity for a time. Rimbaud the Husky made evenings when I had forgotten to stoke the central wood stove enough, more than bearable. I'm 2000 miles from the Ponderossa, there is a strikingly similar aspect of both places that makes me yearn for a return trip back to the west. The main outhouse may smell bad...but it's an "out"house and you don't have to melt snow to shit in a the city they frown upon defecating in the great outdoors. For some reason people in the city don't like watching a grown man pop a squat and grunt a gargoyle. I never realized A toilet tank takes about 4hrs to fill with melted snow all told after the melting and the pouring. When I first discovered the waterlessness I had just dropped the kids off at the pool and had to condense the melting time for said tank into 15minutes of poo smell. Ever schedule your day around a healthy dump? I never thought I would. I've mentioned in the past that I'm not a very ponticficating defacatorian when it comes to public restrooms. I'm not a sit on the seat that's seen more action that a porn star kinda guy....not a germ-a-phobe, just the thought makes me cringe a little bit. I'm sure I'll make due.
A note was left in my mailbox from the Property Manager today that appologized for the inconvenience, and it noted that once the water is returned to normal I'll have to boil all my water until further notice. Lord knows I don't need to catch beaver fever from city pipes. I'll live. It does make me think that my eventual move to a different municipality in 2months will be that much sweeter. Water Main.....3 days, did they decide to take the weeknd off?
I can't help but think of Sara, Joe, and Irving...they're elderly in the utmost sense of the word. Not one of them is under 70 and Joe lives on the 3rd floor above me and is pushing 90. I can't imagine the way they must be feeling put out by the situation. I've offered to make runs to the supermarket for anything they need, although they haven't taken me up on the offer. It stands to reason that since I'm working nights the times that they would actually need the help are when I'm not inhouse.
I decided that since I was living off the land that I would go out and try my luck with the real lottery. 216mil....If I win the money, I'll be buying my way into Schenectady Gov't. and making it a point to shut down some affluent part of the city and chalk it up to a watermain break....then I can watch the chihuahuas and poodles outside with their owners in fur coats wondering where the shit that doesn't stink will end up.
I wasn't totally truthful there, I don't need to be in gov't. I'll be spending the money on friends and family until I make crash to 0 balance and have to enter a homeless shelter without running water. Then deucing on the street won't mater in the slightest, nor would just dropping it in my pants.

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