Sunday, February 18, 2007

Cookie Monster

I'm a little saddened, and a lot enraged by some information I have recently discovered with regard to one of my two fravorite Sesame Street Characters.

It's a long drawn out tale that basically presented itself due to the inability of my generation to suck up and deal, take responsibility and afford generous, well intentioned providing for children. I'm not sure when it happened, nor do I care for that matter it's the prinicple of the thing that irritates the shiite out of me.
I had the opportunity to hang out with Karlie, Julie and their folks this weekend, and if you're into sesame street as baby've seen where I'm coming from.

Apparently!!! They've gotten so caught up in PC crap that Sesame Street's very own Cookie Monster is now a fan of vegatables as a most of the time snack and cookies are a sometimes snack. Cookies that are eventually eaten by our childhood blue furry friend are loaded with Monster chips, a pseudo-lack luster excuse for raisons, instead of chocolate chips.

Who the F was is in the group of concerned parents that had Sesame Street exec's up in arms cuz COOKIE MONSTER WAS Eating COOKIES? It was no doubt as I alluded to earlier somepeople from my generation that have the inability to win a debate with thier three year old at snack time because of a fictitional character. My kids are learning from Cookie Monster that cookies are a snack "Boo Frickin' Hoo" My child is gaining weight and isn't as healthy as other children that don't watch Sesame Street. ( Take some responsibilty in the matter there's no McDonalds Monster, and no Doritos Monster on Sesame Street...They even have basic execise programs on the Childrens Television WorkShop...for you naive monkeys out there it's the old name for SesameStreet workshop) Because the TV Show isn't portraying a Blue Fake Monster eating vegatables my kids are going to grow up to be disadvantaged. Cookies are not the best snack for a blue monster cuz they're not the best snack for kids?!. For 30 some odd years Cookie Monster has been eating cookies...."C" is for Fuckin' Cookie not for carrot you lazy pieces of twisted responsibilitiless shit.

Back to the debate... If your three years old wins the argumentative confrontation and you break down and give your child a cookie when you know completely well that a veggie or fruit is lose a battle of the minds with a child and instead of going to the crisper you grab for the cookiejar. KILL YOURSELF NOW or call the Department of Social Services and turn yourself in as a bad Parent. A three year old that says cookie, and you buy into the fact that because a Monster on TV said cookie, you have to give said child a're in need of a Frontal Labotomy. Here's a thought, let cookie monster EAT COOKIES, and then you as a parent can be the responsible one and put the cookies on top of the refridgerator in the cookie jar where a child of less cognitive ability will not be able to deduce that a ladder, a small safety net, a climbing harness and a short length of rope can be fashioned into a cookie retrieving device. A child that can't make a cartoon character from a toilet paper tube and cut paper yet, shouldn't be able to win a battle of the minds with an adult when it comes to a snack. Cookie Monsters name ....COOKIE MONSTER. implies that he eats cookies. if you're the parent that made a stink cuz he wasn't healthy...Turn the F-in TV OFF. What are you going to complain about next? If I sit down with my neices and the Count...Starts spitting out the Alphabet, I'm running over the first person I see with a stroller the next visit to a supermarket to get myself Chip A freakin' Hoy cookies and I'll smile with chocolate chips stuck in my cheshire cat grin.

"C IS FOR COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That is Super BULLSHIT

Oh, By clicking on the Cookie Monster Link above you can officially Toss A Salad with Cookie Monster. No Joke it's a little game with Sesame Street....Go ahead I dare ya...GO TOSS A SALAD, while you're at it, Tickle that Elmo.

Here's a thought that's entirely PC for you. Cookie Monster the inevitably influential Sesame Street Muppet has no throat hole and if you watch closely as I'm sure your children do, he never swallows a crumb of food be it cookie or anything else. I Hope and trust that your children don't develop eating disorders from this Icon of Childhood goodness. F-U Stupid parents!!!

That's "H'...."H" number of sarcastically levied put-downs for retarda-parents out there...."H" Ah... ah... ah.....

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