Today I was sitting on my balcony...just passing the time with a good book in the sun (can you believe it?). I was deep into the rammifications of Homer's contributions to modern poetry when out of the sun a bird of prey came screaming down a la Japanese Zero toward a US Aircraft carrier circa 1943. After the initial startledness wore away, I began to think there had to be a reason that a talon bearing bird decided to buzz my balcony. It wasn't due to the Odyssey I was certain. I looked around my outdoor digs and found a visitor trying to break into my apt by way of Air conditioning vent. He was almost in when I caught the little guy. He must have been frightened exponentially more than myself after the dive bombing hawk made its appearance. That and being on my balcony, where height and size are completely relative..would have been like me holding on for dear life 70 stories up as an Apache decided to do a dance with me. I'm not afraid of heights where I know that I'll die should I fall (like an airplane crash) I am however frightened to death of falling say off the top of a ladder where I know that I'll just bust shit up and have to talk out of the side of my mouth after the paralyzing rapid stop at the bottom.
I made my way back into the kitchen to get the little guy a bite to eat...he enjoyed the better part of a cracker while sitting on my deck table...after which he and I had a chat about the prospect of his ever living should he decide to get into my apartment. I basically told him that if I should find him enjoying any tasty treats directly from my kitchen that he would inevitably collect for himself a free flight on AIR SHAGGY. Departure: My balcony....Arrival: The duck pond 70ft away after a brief hangtime. While enroute he would have to fend for himself with regard to any bogies with talons that may be in that airspace.
After our chat I picked him up, brought him through the apartment (Showing him the Shangri la he would be missing)downstairs to the front door and let him go on his merry way under the camoflage of a pine tree.
Good luck my little friend I hope for your sake that we never meet again.