Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Quick Turn

It stands to reason that a person of my age would know better when it comes to food stuffs. But alas sometimes we intelligent people go against all that is in our better judgement.

Hence the Quick Turn:

I had the option of mailing and or dropping off; by hand, the final estimate for truck repairs to the Screwheads. I chose the latter. After my triumphant last rant session I decided that I wanted to celebrate with a couple of burritos. I enjoy hot spicy foodstuffs (While in college, our fraternity house was under the impression that redhot and other capt'n insano hotsauces were a distinct food group) I made the burritos slathered with Endorphin Rush (it's just hot enough to be on the cusp of a fight or flight response) straight out of my personal stash of gut rot goodness and enjoyed my meal. Mastication and Esophagial (sp) aspects aside I "thoroughly enjoyed the lunch."

As with most people when they eat their gastrointestinal processes get triggered and the food slowly makes its rounds. Along with my burritos I had a few cups of coffee, a regular addition to lunchtime meals considering my sleeping habits. Prior to heading to work I had to whiz. Mid-stream I experienced a gutteral thunderboomer. I'm going out on a limb and focusing on the male aspect here "it's happened to us all". If you're a woman the experience should be different. If it's not you're doing it all wrong by all guesstimation. I almost immediately had to "Quick Turn". Had I not..... there would have been a serious clean up in aisle #2. Wheeling around like ninja I planted firmly and held on. This is why I can infer that if a woman experiences a Quick Turn they're doing it all wrong. [that's the short version]

I have yet to completely define Quick Turn for Merriam-Webster but I do believe it should be available for the entire population to read up on. SO there you have it: Quick Turn: (kwik-tern) n. 1. The inevitable whiz-to-sit, due to explosive lower gastrointestinal exedus following ingestion of nuclear hot food stuffs.



Kate said...

I'm sure that both Merriam and Webster are grateful for your assistance.

Timmy Z said...

Ha!! Been there, done that... Always the worst feeling, that there's not enough time to make that turn. Glad you made it, tho!

Kristi said...

Bob. Your crazy!!