T-minus 10hrs until I take the Frankensteiner to get inspected and possibly to its grave. Although sad, 5yrs has been long enough and it's time to move on. I'll be taking my time on the way to the dealer just to savor the last 37minutes and reflect on just what it was that made the Funtruck such a Goddamn awesome machine. I've spent the better part of the last 5yrs doing weekend trips, one week long bender had the Monstu and I rollin around the New England States to the tune of 1400mi. It's made of spare parts new and old, rusted and stinky, it twitches in right hand turns, the blinker doesn't wink anymore and the AC unit is shot, The tape (yes tape) player never worked and a speaker has been blown since I bought it. I've fixed, replaced, and/or duct taped 67% of the moveable parts at one point or another. 3 mufflers, brake lines, an axle, numerous tires and 6 brake jobs, oxygen sensors, electrical fires, windshield wipers that only work for the passenger. Stained seat covers and a tool box that only carried golfclubs. Tinted windows and a rear view mirror that fell off no less than 10 times. Ok, I'm sad now... it has truly been a fun ride.
Yet.... I still got to where I wanted to be and home again... even if it meant I had to first park the driver-side front wheel in a lake and return home using the E-brake due to pedal malfunction. Drive in a NorEaster for 12hrs, back the 3hr trip from whence I came. I've hit a guard rail at 50mph perpendicular to the road. I've carried 6 kegs and a loaded swamprat of a Boone in the back. It's towed me down a snow covered road at 45 on a sno-tube. The wheel fell off on the highway at speed and the only thing damaged was it's pride and a mudflap (and the wheel of course). I've slept in the cab, in the bed, under it, I've pitched a tent in the back. And now the undercoat is full of rust, it flakes like confetti at a B-day party when hit with a pressure washer. It blasted through a snow drift just like the commercials not on purpose but it was still flat out awesome. It towed more than a few people out of a snowy ditch in the ADK's at prime travelin times like 3 or 4am.
The Frankensteiner, the first truck I've owned that had a remote starter but you had to roll down the windows by hand. I liked it that way, a mish mash of whatever.... it's my truck.
....and then again maybe they'll tell me that the rust isn't a problem. But, I doubt that.......
**UPDATE**
I made it to the inspection, they checked out Frank and there are a bunch of holes rotted through the frame. It's safe to drive according to Nick the Douchiest Douche of the world. (I seriously think he may go to work just to escape his horrendous personal life, but he carries his baggage with a dumptruck to the office) I took that news with a grain of salt (pun?) and have decided to drive Ye Olde Frankensteiner until the corporate headquarters for Toyota contacts me with the paperwork for the recall value. Until that point I'll be searching for a suitable replacement for my boy Frankie. So i get to drive the best damn truck evar for at least a couple more weeks. And the bonus: The guy that inspected the truck found a loose connection wire dangling somewhere in the undercarriage and reconnected my AC. Freebie. Now the music can be played loud enough to suppliment the dashboard fans and drown out the ticks,rattles, dumps, thumps and other crazy noises that I hear when sitting in the cockpit.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Military Laugh
I made a Lt. Commander in the 107th Stratton Air National Guard Wing almost laugh himself out of his fatigues today.....
After a great weekend, visiting the bro and sis, an evening with DK Lil Mac, Waldo and P. Lunde and his fam I made the jaunt back to work this afternoon in just enough time to wash myself and then hit up the local Subway for some dinner. The sweaty dude that drips in the food is no longer on the payroll there so, I'm not at all skeeved by ordering.
I was second in line behind a college student that was pretty well in the bag, and behind me was the Lt. Commander.... The college dude was slurring a bit, couldn't stand still and was in the basic mumbling stuttering prick mode that I tend to get into when powering through the old Oatsodas with reckless abandon. The 20 something turned and looked at me, did a double take and then opened his pie hole. ( I had just gotten out of the shower and hadn't felt like fighting with the mop, it was out in force) "You gonna get the veggie sub hippy?" Normally I don't take offense to such things, rarely do I acknowledge the statement or who is saying it, much less care about the fact that they're blatently using up my oxygen. This particular day that wasn't the case. Before I could help it I spit out a retort to his uncanny observation of my person. "Why no I like animals because they taste good, oh and by the way, 1981 called.... popped collars are still ghey" The Air Force guy just about pissed himself and we had a great little chat at the college monkey's expense the entire time he was waiting for his sub. He thought about responding and then lowered his head like a dog that lost it's ball under a couch.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it.
After a great weekend, visiting the bro and sis, an evening with DK Lil Mac, Waldo and P. Lunde and his fam I made the jaunt back to work this afternoon in just enough time to wash myself and then hit up the local Subway for some dinner. The sweaty dude that drips in the food is no longer on the payroll there so, I'm not at all skeeved by ordering.
I was second in line behind a college student that was pretty well in the bag, and behind me was the Lt. Commander.... The college dude was slurring a bit, couldn't stand still and was in the basic mumbling stuttering prick mode that I tend to get into when powering through the old Oatsodas with reckless abandon. The 20 something turned and looked at me, did a double take and then opened his pie hole. ( I had just gotten out of the shower and hadn't felt like fighting with the mop, it was out in force) "You gonna get the veggie sub hippy?" Normally I don't take offense to such things, rarely do I acknowledge the statement or who is saying it, much less care about the fact that they're blatently using up my oxygen. This particular day that wasn't the case. Before I could help it I spit out a retort to his uncanny observation of my person. "Why no I like animals because they taste good, oh and by the way, 1981 called.... popped collars are still ghey" The Air Force guy just about pissed himself and we had a great little chat at the college monkey's expense the entire time he was waiting for his sub. He thought about responding and then lowered his head like a dog that lost it's ball under a couch.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thoughts in my head for you this weekend
Looks to me that a few things can be gleaned from this image.
A.) The Cathlo-Aboriginal coalition could take over the world despite Ayers Rock and Jesus Christ having little in common other than the fact that they are both inanimate objects at this point.
2.) The Pope rockin a mop is pretty damn cool, it makes him look less like the Emperor.
Lastly.) If you look at the headline accompaniment, Perhaps that isn't a normal Papal Vestage he's got wrapped around his neck. And there by we can deduce: we may have finally found the super secret identity of Captain Obvious.
I'm just sayin.....
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Survey: How did this Toad Meet it's maker?
A.
B.
C.
D.
The choices are:
A.) A handgun
B.) A Pong Table
C.) A Driver
or
D.) A Hockey Ass
As easy as 1,2,3
When it's hot enough to:
........fry an egg?
And you're hanging out with:
.........Vinni Bag O' Donuts, TandyMan and the Crew
You're bound to end up:
..........Tossing a Barrel during the First Annual Twilight Keg Toss Competition.
........fry an egg?
And you're hanging out with:
.........Vinni Bag O' Donuts, TandyMan and the Crew
You're bound to end up:
..........Tossing a Barrel during the First Annual Twilight Keg Toss Competition.
Long day..long night, as it is periodically in the hurry up and wait realm of Newspaper work. If there happens to be breaking news about, we hurry up and wait for it. Right now and for the next 3hrs I'll be waiting for a baseball score. Not the score persay, but more along the lines of what I have to do after the score so that you all can read about in the paper, or online if you subscribe to the pay portion of our little rag. Don't worry, you can read the story in its entirety on the free site too. I just get to section stuff out so that you can click a mouse and make it look like you're flipping through the pages of a real life virtual newspaper (if that makes any sense). separating and linking stories, labeling things and whatnot. It would be easier to just watch sports center.
I guess when you look at it, burning a Vacation day, and a sick day will get you a few good things. Needed rest, a paycheck sooner in the work week than normal and a shortened work week to boot. And now, owing to the fact that I do at sometimes work 14 or so days without a break. After the burn of two days I have to find time to waste just under 3 more weeks before January. The wedding season is coming up a bit later this year than for the past few. Peeps are getting hitched in late September and October. SO now I have to think about using the rest of the sick/personal/vacation/comp days after the subtraction of 3, of course. 3 will be the number of counting, not 5 nor 2 the number shall be 3. once that 3 have been subtracted I will no longer be able to use those 3. 3.
If you've ever worked in a deadline specific environment you know what I'm saying/inferring when "the pressmen are being vultures" They have deadlines as well, and so do the rural/commercial delivery people. There's one sports guy busting a nut in the adjoining cubicle factory, three of us here in the pre-press, and 20 press guys that already have the presses up and running. Would it be correct to assume that whomever were interested in such a barnburner of a baseball game would be up watching it? And if so, why not make that shit happen and replate it for the morning papers as the updates come in. SO, 20,000 people get the un-updated version of the sports news. Because the sport's monkey is rubbing one out, the print version of mr. home subscriber's paper won't be there on time in the morning and he'll watch sports center then call the Gaz bitching that his morning paper didn't arrive on time. It all starts a slide in the chain of who gets what and who gets it after. Ah F-it, I could use a few more comp hours. What else would I be doing at 4am anyway?
If you dig the sports that's cool, if you don't give a rats ass, you want the rest of the news in a timely fashion. I'm just saying... "I guess I should get a different job, it's nights like these that I remember the really really funny parts in Office Space, things about red Schtaplers"
I guess when you look at it, burning a Vacation day, and a sick day will get you a few good things. Needed rest, a paycheck sooner in the work week than normal and a shortened work week to boot. And now, owing to the fact that I do at sometimes work 14 or so days without a break. After the burn of two days I have to find time to waste just under 3 more weeks before January. The wedding season is coming up a bit later this year than for the past few. Peeps are getting hitched in late September and October. SO now I have to think about using the rest of the sick/personal/vacation/comp days after the subtraction of 3, of course. 3 will be the number of counting, not 5 nor 2 the number shall be 3. once that 3 have been subtracted I will no longer be able to use those 3. 3.
If you've ever worked in a deadline specific environment you know what I'm saying/inferring when "the pressmen are being vultures" They have deadlines as well, and so do the rural/commercial delivery people. There's one sports guy busting a nut in the adjoining cubicle factory, three of us here in the pre-press, and 20 press guys that already have the presses up and running. Would it be correct to assume that whomever were interested in such a barnburner of a baseball game would be up watching it? And if so, why not make that shit happen and replate it for the morning papers as the updates come in. SO, 20,000 people get the un-updated version of the sports news. Because the sport's monkey is rubbing one out, the print version of mr. home subscriber's paper won't be there on time in the morning and he'll watch sports center then call the Gaz bitching that his morning paper didn't arrive on time. It all starts a slide in the chain of who gets what and who gets it after. Ah F-it, I could use a few more comp hours. What else would I be doing at 4am anyway?
If you dig the sports that's cool, if you don't give a rats ass, you want the rest of the news in a timely fashion. I'm just saying... "I guess I should get a different job, it's nights like these that I remember the really really funny parts in Office Space, things about red Schtaplers"
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
After a weekend away and a sickness that lasted a good 24hrs of death, I'm back at work. I've never been one to promote sleep, but if you can manage to sleep for 24hrs straight... I recommend it. It's just what the body needs to get back in the green. It's not the few libations I had, nor is it the lack of sleep...it could have been the minial food intake, more my fault than the buffets that were available. Or perhaps it the was the perfect storm of them in totality. I'll post some pics of what Miss Kate would deem Idiocy (it's a proper term) tommorrow or Thursday.
I'm traveling this weekend to the North to hopefully meet up with the Bro and Sis inlaw. They gots a baby on the way and I gots a nice little functional suprise that should be just what the doctor ordered to make life a little easier. Then on to Togatown for a little meet up with my B-day Partners in crime. Miss Kristi joins the ranks of the officially not old but moving that way in a slow and positive manner 3.0. Nothing like sitting in the sun hanging out with good company to make the world go 'round.
Congrats to B.Ricks and Mary...they're tying the knot in late October
I'm traveling this weekend to the North to hopefully meet up with the Bro and Sis inlaw. They gots a baby on the way and I gots a nice little functional suprise that should be just what the doctor ordered to make life a little easier. Then on to Togatown for a little meet up with my B-day Partners in crime. Miss Kristi joins the ranks of the officially not old but moving that way in a slow and positive manner 3.0. Nothing like sitting in the sun hanging out with good company to make the world go 'round.
Congrats to B.Ricks and Mary...they're tying the knot in late October
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Iraq, IRAN, Afganistan
The other day Iran announced that they had test fired missiles during an exercise that could deter aggression from The Isreal and The Americans. They also mentioned in the past few weeks that they are digging up to 320,000 graves so that agressors can be layed to rest according to religious belief should they "invade" their country. The US has moved another Carrier Group into the Persian Gulf... Something tells me that the Iranian Navy better not paddle up to these ships and shoot off AK warning shots. Not only that, but... images released have filtered out to the media showing Iran's Might. Step off Georgie Bush, these guys can photoshop the Navy right out from under the Americans. Dun Dun Duh!!!!
I could have done better disguising that shiite, and also could have added myself in the image. I'm not promoting a war on three fronts even if it would connect the three X's and win the game of tic-tac-toe in the Mideast. What actually scares me is that Iran's main military force, is an aging bit of inferior goodness. I'm willing to bet a few bombing runs and a volley from US armour would vaporize them. It's sad. The main battle tank in the US inventory out fires the Iranian counter part by 4 miles. Have you ever played the game Beirut/Beer-Pong? Imagine playing on a table that is shorter in your favor allowing you to lean over and drop the quarter/ ping pong ball into the cup. The Opposing team in the skewed match would have to throw the ball/quarter toward your cups which conveniently move just out of reach prior to each throw falling way short.
I hope our country focuses more on homeland problems than getting into a fist fight with a migit. We don't need it, I don't want not me.
I'm guessing that we probably have until Halloween, or the 1st of November to find out what the current Gov't is really thinking. The the Monkey wipes his hands and retires to Former Pres Bush
I could have done better disguising that shiite, and also could have added myself in the image. I'm not promoting a war on three fronts even if it would connect the three X's and win the game of tic-tac-toe in the Mideast. What actually scares me is that Iran's main military force, is an aging bit of inferior goodness. I'm willing to bet a few bombing runs and a volley from US armour would vaporize them. It's sad. The main battle tank in the US inventory out fires the Iranian counter part by 4 miles. Have you ever played the game Beirut/Beer-Pong? Imagine playing on a table that is shorter in your favor allowing you to lean over and drop the quarter/ ping pong ball into the cup. The Opposing team in the skewed match would have to throw the ball/quarter toward your cups which conveniently move just out of reach prior to each throw falling way short.
I hope our country focuses more on homeland problems than getting into a fist fight with a migit. We don't need it, I don't want not me.
I'm guessing that we probably have until Halloween, or the 1st of November to find out what the current Gov't is really thinking. The the Monkey wipes his hands and retires to Former Pres Bush
pillow talk
Yeah, so after three days of being miserable and restless, I got hit in the face by my pillow last night and it didn't want to let go. It hit me hard enough to register a TKO and my glass jaw spent the last 16hrs in a Coma. I'm willing to bet it had something to do with the weather. Last night was balmy and cool and didn't top the 90's it was 68 degrees in my place and I'm thinking that that could be the ideal Shaggybob resting temp. The triple shades staved off the sun for the duration of my day and the crypt was good.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Sleeplessness
I had yet another night of sleeplessness last night. Muggy hot intensity in my apt. even the AC didn't help. It was so hot and stagnant that I had trouble forcing myself to breathe, felt like a cinder block was resting on my chest. I'm now two days into a tossing and turning restlessness that I can get out of. I don't know why, but it's not all that great. I actually closed my eyes to concentrate on getting some sleep at 11am this morning, 15hrs later... no sleep yet. I'm going to try to hit the hay in about 30min. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Kevlar Underoos
Once again the fine upstanding young citizens of our glorious city have shined through in all their glory. Thanks to a wonderfully rich and diverse bit of culture, a bit of booze and someone who thought they heard some fireworks being discharged inside an adjoining apartment (Not mine, just over the river) we reached our 5th death by homicidal shotgun blast of the year. Please join me in celebrating (yaaaaaaay, and there was much rejoicing). Last night around 9pm, while I sat here in the funk that is work on any average Sunday evening, just across town a couple of thugs decided that an arguement at a backyard BarB-Que wasn't quite kosher so they escalated into "pushing and shoving" and "name calling" which leads...obviously to pulling out a shotgun and blasting your guest, pseudo-guest, some random dude that you allowed to have food with you, in dah face. KaBLAMMmmm!!! And the neighbors thought illegal fireworks were going off. Until, of course, they saw neighboring party goers scattering like cockroaches into the street and beyond.
The assailant is at large, and by the looks of the previous mug shots you may want to drive your "car" to the other side of the road while driving past him., should he be on the same side of the road you are traveling on. It's easily one of the scariest looking human beings I have ever seen. (<=inserts IT for HE with reason).
SO, today the cops were of course profiling and any and all motorists that even came close to matching the description were hampered on their daily commute by Police, Sheriff, and NSA agents. The opinion page will be crawling with scathing opression stories, and unhappy city-folk that can't understand why, that, if they look like a dreaded 6'8" 400lb black man with an angry disposition and a bit of a bulldog-ish underbite they got pulled over for no good reason other than police harrassment. "I hope Dr. Chim Richalds weighs in on this one." He hears the pulse of the city. I myself didn't get pulled over, I think it may be that I have a bit of an overbite. It's Hot in the Schenecta'Dirt, jungle hot.
==>Anna: When I was little, we found a man. He looked like - like, butchered. The old woman in the village crossed themselves... and whispered crazy things, strange things. "El Diablo cazador de hombres." Only in the hottest years this happens. And this year, it grows hot. We begin finding our men. We found them sometimes without their skins... and sometimes much, much worse. "El cazador trofeo de los hombres" means the demon who makes trophies of men.<==
Then again, luckily for me such crime never crosses running water, the Oasis is located across the abyss from the 'Dirt, and the last person that got pulled over...over here, recieved a DWI, on his lawn tractor. We dun got John Deeres on dis side o' da ssippi, uz cen keep that thar riff raff ova yondah.
The assailant is at large, and by the looks of the previous mug shots you may want to drive your "car" to the other side of the road while driving past him., should he be on the same side of the road you are traveling on. It's easily one of the scariest looking human beings I have ever seen. (<=inserts IT for HE with reason).
SO, today the cops were of course profiling and any and all motorists that even came close to matching the description were hampered on their daily commute by Police, Sheriff, and NSA agents. The opinion page will be crawling with scathing opression stories, and unhappy city-folk that can't understand why, that, if they look like a dreaded 6'8" 400lb black man with an angry disposition and a bit of a bulldog-ish underbite they got pulled over for no good reason other than police harrassment. "I hope Dr. Chim Richalds weighs in on this one." He hears the pulse of the city. I myself didn't get pulled over, I think it may be that I have a bit of an overbite. It's Hot in the Schenecta'Dirt, jungle hot.
==>Anna: When I was little, we found a man. He looked like - like, butchered. The old woman in the village crossed themselves... and whispered crazy things, strange things. "El Diablo cazador de hombres." Only in the hottest years this happens. And this year, it grows hot. We begin finding our men. We found them sometimes without their skins... and sometimes much, much worse. "El cazador trofeo de los hombres" means the demon who makes trophies of men.<==
Then again, luckily for me such crime never crosses running water, the Oasis is located across the abyss from the 'Dirt, and the last person that got pulled over...over here, recieved a DWI, on his lawn tractor. We dun got John Deeres on dis side o' da ssippi, uz cen keep that thar riff raff ova yondah.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Spanky's lounge
The Independence Day celebration at Spanky's Lounge was once again a huge extravaganza. Although I did forget a small portion of my evening, hoping that I wasn't too out of control. When partaking in cocktails that are fruity and come from a blender it would behoove you to drink slowly, and infrequently. They had a delicious concoction called Bongwater that had a strange sedimentary gray look to it. It tasted like nothing I've ever had before with a slight after taste that made you want more immediately. That's where the problem came in, I have no kill switch for teeth hurting sugary fruity cocktails. I was fine imbibing coronas for the better part of the 8hrs at the lounge. After the marvelous jaw rattling fireworks display I had that one last drink before slurring my way to a car for the ride home. What time did I go home? I don't know, who drove the car? I don't know. I do know that once back at my place I dessimated an entire pizza and shot some random text messages and made a few phone calls. It happened to be around 1am, so I must have gotten back just prior to that, me thinks. (My powers of deductive reasoning are amazing, I know. Try not to fault me on that one).
So here I am back at work, doing the mundane GAz work, trying to figure out exactly when or where my 1 lost hour last night went. NO harm no foul I guess, as long as I didn't do something completely idiotic. It'll take a few days for the real story to emerge I'm sure. It always does.
So here I am back at work, doing the mundane GAz work, trying to figure out exactly when or where my 1 lost hour last night went. NO harm no foul I guess, as long as I didn't do something completely idiotic. It'll take a few days for the real story to emerge I'm sure. It always does.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Just in time for the holidays (click Me)
Exclusively not through "...and other things not-so-holy", frankly just a tad odd, although completely alluring....Clothing for sale online. Get your very own lemming suit. They're itchy, sin-less, non-revealing, and tested to make the best of your shot at heaven. Buy a single article and or get 10 depending on your marital status.
*** I kid, I joke, I'm not out to defame religion here at "....and other things not-so-holy" I'm a lemming that dresses in cargo shorts and moosejaw tees- I wear my designer spectacles and drink from the bottled rivers in hell. I shall not be smited... or something even worse....SIN.
You dig the life style, good for you go with it! Share and share alike.
Part of me, just part of me thinks that the fundamental outer clothing is nothing but a tarp, covering for the slinky thigh high black vinyl stelettos, the chokers, feathers, and riding crops. It's a fundamentalist disco party under there. Yoooooooo shakka shakka khan!
*** I kid, I joke, I'm not out to defame religion here at "....and other things not-so-holy" I'm a lemming that dresses in cargo shorts and moosejaw tees- I wear my designer spectacles and drink from the bottled rivers in hell. I shall not be smited... or something even worse....SIN.
You dig the life style, good for you go with it! Share and share alike.
Part of me, just part of me thinks that the fundamental outer clothing is nothing but a tarp, covering for the slinky thigh high black vinyl stelettos, the chokers, feathers, and riding crops. It's a fundamentalist disco party under there. Yoooooooo shakka shakka khan!
Your AP moment of the day
Apparently the Chinese Terror Police are practicing the art of mobile death dealing for any and all people that step outta line at the Olympics.
Whoa there crouching TIGER, step back behind the ropes and wait like everyone else to get into the venue. That sound you hear is the practically silent electric hum of a heavy fisted ass kickin. Pure Gut laugh stopping power. Pray that the hooligans don't get loose. Check it out, Lieutenant Wu doesn't even need his F-in goggles and he's rocking a handgun. respect
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Beer bottles and beer cans
Recycling, it's fun, it's healthy, it's something everyone should do. I have a large collection of empty beer containers at my apartment. They were hidden away in my living room walk-in closet. They've been piling up since the first triumphant celebratory beer after my successful move into the Oasis. There have been a few larger gatherings, and a number of evenings that a few people joined me for a couple beverages, and or, the occasional beverage with a nice dinner... every nice dinner I cook to celebrate a fine dining experience. I collected them and moved them to a place that will be easier to get them out and down the stairs to my truck and on their way to the Bev. Center to pick-up the return. They've now been sittng there for about three weeks, my closest non-mathematically influenced head count will be bringing a supplimentary 30bones to my wallet. A rough guesstimate, owing to the fact that I know I've cut way back since the college days of rifling through a case of beer and then walking downtown, is that I consume one tasty dark beer a day.
Since I haven't been regularly returning them, my problem is that I have to take a stack of cans and bottles back that equal my height as well as the length of one of my living room walls. I'm apprehensive to be doing this only because the moldies in my building will be home for the day and undoubtedly peering out their windows for the Uber Drunk Mutt filling the bed of his truck (twice) taking back alcoholic beverage containers. I'd hate to be selfconscous whilst chatting with them when I project the thought into their melon that they're thinking what a slob he is. ( I am a slob yes, but a conscious one that isn't loud and raucous, that doesn't thunder stomp on their heads in drunken dance of William Golding proportions)
I keep putting it off, tommorrow is the day.
Since I haven't been regularly returning them, my problem is that I have to take a stack of cans and bottles back that equal my height as well as the length of one of my living room walls. I'm apprehensive to be doing this only because the moldies in my building will be home for the day and undoubtedly peering out their windows for the Uber Drunk Mutt filling the bed of his truck (twice) taking back alcoholic beverage containers. I'd hate to be selfconscous whilst chatting with them when I project the thought into their melon that they're thinking what a slob he is. ( I am a slob yes, but a conscious one that isn't loud and raucous, that doesn't thunder stomp on their heads in drunken dance of William Golding proportions)
I keep putting it off, tommorrow is the day.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Halloween Costume
It's the time of year once again to brainstorm and come up with a workable Halloween Costume. This year, for the 4th Annual Spanky's Lounge Halloween Party. I have a few ideas, all of which should keep me in the running for the best/funniest costume prize. Last year I won a scented candle (I was more than ecstatic at the thought of having another candle to add to my huUUGE collection.)
At this time I have thoughts of reworking a blast from the past costume Willy Wonka, not the Depp version the Wilder version Snozzzberry.
And then a more indepth costume that would involve wigs, a bunch of robes, comfortable fightin clothes and a new found appreciation for Kung-Fu mastery or at least a bit of ninja type fakery. Hhhhmmmm Drunken Master? yeah.... Uuuun Gah Doo HAh.
Lastly there is the costume that I've been trying to piece together for the better part of 5yrs to no avail. Something that would be fun to wear any random night to a saloon, bar, tavern, alehouse, or pub.
At least I have some time to make the decision. Heck, If I've decided to grow up and stop making smiley faces on my hamburgers with ketchup and mustard, at least I'll be be a kid and dress up for Halloween.
At this time I have thoughts of reworking a blast from the past costume Willy Wonka, not the Depp version the Wilder version Snozzzberry.
And then a more indepth costume that would involve wigs, a bunch of robes, comfortable fightin clothes and a new found appreciation for Kung-Fu mastery or at least a bit of ninja type fakery. Hhhhmmmm Drunken Master? yeah.... Uuuun Gah Doo HAh.
Lastly there is the costume that I've been trying to piece together for the better part of 5yrs to no avail. Something that would be fun to wear any random night to a saloon, bar, tavern, alehouse, or pub.
At least I have some time to make the decision. Heck, If I've decided to grow up and stop making smiley faces on my hamburgers with ketchup and mustard, at least I'll be be a kid and dress up for Halloween.
Monday, June 30, 2008
De'la Shane
Mr. Conner is going to be in the area. That's right.... he stopped in at the Oasis, he's going to move to the 'Dirt in a couple of weeks. The Stockade Bower/Conner faction is soon to be in the mix. Happy Hour at the Oasis will be @ 3pm on July 4th, in preparation for the Independence Day extravaganza that is Spanky's Lounge (60's era theme party, BYOBongwater) on Saturday July 5th. 5G's of Fireworks and mixed drinks are suitable extra added goodness... KaPow..oooooo aaaaahhhh! Bring your drankin sandals and tye died best. Free love starts at the line forming to my zipper. (just kidding, I'm still medically induced to Midlife crisis car, the Vette is 4 weeks away.) I may have to get a Members Only Jacket to suppliment the Awesome.
That's NO JOKE chief....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Quirky
Had a sign in problem that I hope has ironed itself out. If not...I'm bringing a hammer to work tommorrow. I'm thinking about a change for the face of "....and other things not-so-holy." Procrastination is, well, ........I'll tell you later.
Crazy couple of days this weekend. Good times. Chatted it up with DK LilMac w/rasberries, Steve and Rachel, Got a message from the Monstu, pissed away a fair chunk of cash on new kicks and a titanium spork ( yup you read correctly, titanium spork... it's all mine suckas) now I need to find some more.
Congrats to the McG's and their new house purchase.
Crazy couple of days this weekend. Good times. Chatted it up with DK LilMac w/rasberries, Steve and Rachel, Got a message from the Monstu, pissed away a fair chunk of cash on new kicks and a titanium spork ( yup you read correctly, titanium spork... it's all mine suckas) now I need to find some more.
Congrats to the McG's and their new house purchase.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The Little Blue Book of Sales
When I worked selling art at the Arts Center in Manchester, I quickly learned how to make an effective sales pitch. I also used a number of formulas to get the ball rolling. After a few months I noticed that it was easier if you followed the rules of the book that is titled above. It's a great read and gives insight into the way people look at you when they are trying to reel you in. It breaks down the basic principles of snake-oil salesman into human terms. To my knowledge there aren't any Car Sales persons that are anything but Type-A personalities, whom view you as anything but commission $$$. If they would step out of that mold I bet by refferals alone it would have them buying a huge house in a failing market. (depending on the Snake-oil sales person on that end).
Art is a tricky thing to sell, it's so Objective that there really isn't a pitch that works without first getting to know the person. They'll love it or hate it....won't be able to explain their reactions and will obviously haggle for a lower price. Car people are different in that they seem to not care, but god damn it...they're going to be your best freind whether you like it or not. example
Write to an email to a dealer, you'll get an automated response within I'd say 15.4seconds.
A follow up email will include a quasi-personal hello from a Sales Person with the disclaimer "please disregard if you have spoken or contacted another sales representative" (They don't want to step on eachothers toes you see, just yours until you say uncle)
I responded to the second email: Formally using Mr. so-and-so, ending with respectfully, letting him know very little about myself other than the fact that I have an old truck and that it has been recalled (inspection on the 24th). I added that I like to golf and wanted to get up and rolling again asap.
"Mike" and I are now playing in an imaginary round of golf, he's chatting away about the best clubs out there. I'm standing at the tee box thinking this guy must be able to crush a drive 4,000yds his balls are so big. No fewer that 6 Times in his short email response to my response, he reffered to me as Rob. (If you know me, that ain't the case...I don't go by ShaggyROB, it doesn't sound right and I dislike it) SO Mike and I are in the bantering stage of sales where he already ascerted the Type A bullshit "Get to know your victim" Stockholm him. He's goign to be more willing to buy from a buddy than a business professional.
I'm getting amped...really amped to meet this guy, my plan of attack with my new buddy is this. Type A doesn't work with me, get the cute little hot chick that introduced us... the one with the clipboard just pointing people in the right direction. She isn't Type A, or she fakes the hell out of it.
The Sales Person will get 5minutes alotted for runs to his Manager.
It's another ploy, "let me talk to my manager" they go into the back and let you fester, maybe they're cupping eachothers 4,000yd balls. Then he returns with the standard not quite higher than WTF offer to have you counter offer, back to manager for teabagging, return with ridiculous offer and so on and so forth until you get sick of the shit and say ok, I'm in for that inflated price because I just had 6 cups of coffee waiting here for the last 1 1/2hrs and I have to whizz.
Sales monkeys get 5minutes Total with me. if he's gone for 2min... he has 3 left for the rest of his song and dance. At 5minutes I get up and walk out, or request that they get someone that can make a decision on their own. MAnagers will give them a bottomline to negotiate around. They have that on a clip board before you even get there. "Sell that free toaster oven as well" Cuz every new vehicle should have a new toaster oven in it. Keep the unnecessary extra over the top $3,000 but give them a $15 toaster oven. mmmmmm I like Toast.
I'm looking forward to the process and will be taking a copy of the blue book with me. When they start using their 5minutes I'll scan a chapter or two. Then give them the highlights when they get back. A+ fucktard you're times up."No sale for U" "Sorry you wasted your time on me wasting your time on others...less money in the pocket today eh? chief"
Addendum: Just recieved another email from Mike, his time frame for a "super sale" is within the next two weeks. MY friend Mike, who calls me Rob is a Sales Pitching GOD. although he forgot one little thing (the inspection is 4 weeks away) Type A $$$Rob would not have his cash recall money until at least the 24th.
Art is a tricky thing to sell, it's so Objective that there really isn't a pitch that works without first getting to know the person. They'll love it or hate it....won't be able to explain their reactions and will obviously haggle for a lower price. Car people are different in that they seem to not care, but god damn it...they're going to be your best freind whether you like it or not. example
Write to an email to a dealer, you'll get an automated response within I'd say 15.4seconds.
A follow up email will include a quasi-personal hello from a Sales Person with the disclaimer "please disregard if you have spoken or contacted another sales representative" (They don't want to step on eachothers toes you see, just yours until you say uncle)
I responded to the second email: Formally using Mr. so-and-so, ending with respectfully, letting him know very little about myself other than the fact that I have an old truck and that it has been recalled (inspection on the 24th). I added that I like to golf and wanted to get up and rolling again asap.
"Mike" and I are now playing in an imaginary round of golf, he's chatting away about the best clubs out there. I'm standing at the tee box thinking this guy must be able to crush a drive 4,000yds his balls are so big. No fewer that 6 Times in his short email response to my response, he reffered to me as Rob. (If you know me, that ain't the case...I don't go by ShaggyROB, it doesn't sound right and I dislike it) SO Mike and I are in the bantering stage of sales where he already ascerted the Type A bullshit "Get to know your victim" Stockholm him. He's goign to be more willing to buy from a buddy than a business professional.
I'm getting amped...really amped to meet this guy, my plan of attack with my new buddy is this. Type A doesn't work with me, get the cute little hot chick that introduced us... the one with the clipboard just pointing people in the right direction. She isn't Type A, or she fakes the hell out of it.
The Sales Person will get 5minutes alotted for runs to his Manager.
It's another ploy, "let me talk to my manager" they go into the back and let you fester, maybe they're cupping eachothers 4,000yd balls. Then he returns with the standard not quite higher than WTF offer to have you counter offer, back to manager for teabagging, return with ridiculous offer and so on and so forth until you get sick of the shit and say ok, I'm in for that inflated price because I just had 6 cups of coffee waiting here for the last 1 1/2hrs and I have to whizz.
Sales monkeys get 5minutes Total with me. if he's gone for 2min... he has 3 left for the rest of his song and dance. At 5minutes I get up and walk out, or request that they get someone that can make a decision on their own. MAnagers will give them a bottomline to negotiate around. They have that on a clip board before you even get there. "Sell that free toaster oven as well" Cuz every new vehicle should have a new toaster oven in it. Keep the unnecessary extra over the top $3,000 but give them a $15 toaster oven. mmmmmm I like Toast.
I'm looking forward to the process and will be taking a copy of the blue book with me. When they start using their 5minutes I'll scan a chapter or two. Then give them the highlights when they get back. A+ fucktard you're times up."No sale for U" "Sorry you wasted your time on me wasting your time on others...less money in the pocket today eh? chief"
Addendum: Just recieved another email from Mike, his time frame for a "super sale" is within the next two weeks. MY friend Mike, who calls me Rob is a Sales Pitching GOD. although he forgot one little thing (the inspection is 4 weeks away) Type A $$$Rob would not have his cash recall money until at least the 24th.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Turning the corner
I was driving behind an SUV today, not really all that fast... when the SUV took a pretty sharp turn and looked as if it was going to tip over. Strange.... we weren't going all that fast I thought to myself. It was a smaller SUV, borderline crossover, it wasn't jacked up at all so I didn't see why it would do such a thing. (this is where I get completely shallow) I followed it trying to ass-ertain why it was leaning still, could the shocks given out? I stopped a few miles down the road at a stop light; something I customarily do when they are red of course. I was in the turning lane next to the SUV. There had to be some lymph / thyroid? problem going on with the dude behind the wheel. He was utterly monsterous, gargantuan, flippin huge. To the point that I couldn't stop staring big. I'm willing to bet that a flatbed low-boy would have buckled under the gravity this guy was producing. He was listening to the same radio station I was listening to and this guy started headbanging....I thought the brakes were going to melt and his SUV would roll out into the oncoming T-bone zone. Instead it held firm and the guy entertained himself in a comfortable in my own skin way. I felt sorry for the wee SUV, but wish I knew the man pancaking it. "My name is mudd....."
A trainwreck waiting to happen?
From a recent email that officially got my gut churning and wanting for the good ole colon bomb.
~Monstu~
Here is the official recipe, followed exactly every time. Make sure
to measure accurately (recipe can be, and often was, doubled or
tripled although it is not suggested to attempt making less than one
full recipe).
1 log frozen Grade F- ground animal flesh (beef if you're lucky)
1/2 K-C?** Sh**** (rhymes with Carp) boob sized bag of elbow macaroni
1 #10 can generic tomato sauce (important that it is be low quality so
it contains lots of seeds)
2 cups FRANK'S(R) RedHot(R)
4ish tbsp Pocahontas brand chili powder (this is a mixed spice
containing chilies, cumin, garlic, onion, etc)
3ish tbsp red pepper flake
2ish tbsp garlic powder (not salt)
2ish tbsp black pepper
1-6 tbsp random spices and/or termite droppings
1 quart sour cream
1 sleeve saltine crackers
27 cans cheap beer
2 pints whiskey
1 1/2 cup Pepto
7 Camel light filtered cigarettes
Instructions:
The night before:
Consume beer and whiskey. Put frozen ground flesh log in sink of
cold water to defrost. Hint: do not sleep if possible.
Morning of:
Vomit, smoke three of the cigarettes and begin browning the ground
flesh log. The log will still be frozen in the middle because you put
out to defrost after drinking the beer and whiskey. Put on pot of
water to boil and salt liberally.
As the log is browning, smash and chop it with a metal spatula to
squeeze out the grease and juices. When all meet is gray (it won't
actually turn brown if you have the right stuff), drain off some of
the fat (yes believe it or not I actually drained off the fat even
when I was making this at the house), then sprinkle the spices over
the ground meat and cook a few more minutes.
If you are lucky, the water is boiling by now so stir in your
macaroni and cook it to near mush (al dente is for wine sipping, vespa
riding, soccer loving, gold chain wearing Italian douche bags).
Vomit again and smoke two more cigarettes. If possible yell at
someone to get out of the TV room and go clean something, possibly the
deep fryer or the grease trap.
Mix the seasoned meat, tomato sauce and redhot into the noodles and
allow to simmer for approximately 20 min. Stir occasionally but not
all the way to the bottom so that there will be some burnt areas which
add a smoky flavor to the dish.
To serve:
Leave the pot on the burner set to its lowest setting and leave
stirring spoon in wreck. Place sour cream and crackers on table for
diners to add at their digression along with extra redhot. Serve with
milk or more beer (having both is not recommended).
Consume one plate or bowl of wreck, smoke one of the remaining
cigarettes using uneaten portion to extinguish the butt. Consume the
Pepto, nap and repeat this last step, or attend house meeting.
~Monstu~"written for Ogar, after a recent inquiry"
My suggested additions follow (Ain't nostalgia grand) :
> Ok, the only additions I have to the marvelous rendition from the Trainwreck specialist, are that you have to prepare the meal in either boxer shorts of fat cords with out shoes on. (If you're wearing shoes it won't cook properly, make sure that you scratch your ass at least 5times throughout the process) I also recommend that after the pre-meat spatula log shaving vomit that you open a bottle of Clan MacGregor and liberally dose yourself so that A.) you wreak of cheap shitty booze rather than the Great North American Technicolor Vomitorium, and B.) you deaden the taste buds/ nostrils so that you put just a tad too much spice in it for the normal human being to consume. At that point apply one or two Beast Ice to your ulcer to quell the hurt. If you choose to put out the cigarette in the bowl of remaining wreck remember to leave it sitting on the coffee table through but not limited to the entire 29 f*ckin repeats of sports center, if you Wookie yourself on the couch with the bowl of extinguished butt and sport center, renew your love for wreck when you groggily wake up and mistakenly take a fork full of the ashes.......... Mmmmmm Good. Save the remainder of the wreck in the cooking pot cover the top of said pot 3/4 with tin foil complete with the serving spoon dug in really deep and put in the refrigerator. The bigger the refrigerator the better it'll add random moldy unsuspecting flavors to the leftovers, every subsiquent trip to the fridge for a bite with give you a yummy suprise.
> After a late night drunken dip into the wreck leftovers, and a quick snooze when you wake up the next morning it is customary to call either Monstu or Myself and say "Bloody Buddy" which will cause both of us to make a Bloody Mary and enjoy the gut rot that your experiencing vicariously through you.
If you've never experienced a Trainwreck, this is the one for you.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Cleaning
I cleaned out the Frankensteiner today in preperation for the jaunt to a dealership tommorrow. The recall stated whatever condition the vehicle is in given that the rust problem is prevalent enough to warrant the money. I took it to the spray and wash for one last intimate moment. I was caring and thorough. Unfortunately I was a little over zealous for just a second when it came to the undercarriage. (lord knows that cleaning the undercarriage is an important thing, be you male or female) but not so much a good thing when you're prepping to have the truck inspected for rust damage, a good portion of the problem was immediately washed away in a hail storm of oxidized shrapnel. I never imagined that I could drop/throw a pressure washer stick faster and or harder away from my hand and lament the mistake in such a heavyhearted way. It wasn't the frame in totality and I think the rest of the stalagtite-ish rust is still hanging around.
I was a bit saddened by the thought of getting rid of Frank. I purchased it 5yrs ago on Halloween, and for all the trouble and all the headache it's been a Fun ride. I'm still pre-emptively searching for a replacement to carry on ShaggyBob's Funtruck Booze Cruz. (If you haven't been following along, the Booze Cruz doesn't necessarily involve the Booze and it's more of the Cruz to different places across the NorthEast.) I'll be posting a contest flyer with two slots for entries. I'm asking that you submit names for the new vehicle once it's purchased, and a place for a new name for the Cruz. I doubt I'll have another Funtruck to drive around. Basic rules and stipulations will be provided on the flyer and the winner will receive a gift of my choosing that includes but is not limited to, a visitation, a personal showing of Bob's Cookin show, and perhaps the complimentary beverages that go well with the theme of dinner. (Any and all entries that involve the word Jubilee will be considered null and void and tossed on their ass out of the running for the prizes)
I will say that looking for a vehicle on the cusp of Independence Day Sales where 0% financing and getting a shot at snagging a gas incentive card that flat rates $2.99 a gallon for the first 12,000mi. a year for 3yrs isn't unheard of...is pretty F*ck'in awesome.
The search begins in earnest....
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
ShaggyBob's Self-Help hints of the Moment
Never pass up a free meal.
Never waste a boner.
Never trust a fart.
Never waste a boner.
Never trust a fart.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Good News / Bad News
Bad News: the AC in the Frankensteiner isn't fixed.
Good news: The mechanic that was going to fix the Frankensteiners AC, put a screw driver through the frame of my truck, thus leading him to not bother with the AC and then telling me that my particular vehicle along with all other Toyota Tacomas '95-'00 have a perpensity to rust out from the frame up due to some sort of defective metalergy. They've been recalled and the Toyota Gods are paying out 1 1/2 times the retail blue book value to people that really don't want their asses to drag on the pavement because of catastrohpic failure. My ass is one of them.
SO, basically I'm now driving an AC-less POS, a $12,000 magic carpet, until I can get to a dealer and turn in my Toyota Badge. Kinda sucks to think that after all the problems, and the head aches, and the spitting and swearing, and the "no brakes" and the "guard rail", and the "WTF my tire fell off", and the 40mph sno-tube ride down Sissonville rd. and the 8 kegs bottoming it out, and the muffler those oh so few 4 times, the baja snow bank explosions, the 375 degree turns on teh black ice in the middle of the adirondacks, parking the front tires in a lake, and the 80,000mi. I put into making it the junker that it is; religiously following the mantra of Shaggybobs Funtruck Booze Cruz, the worlds largest ashtray will soon be defunct....I'm going to miss it. I haven't gotten rid of it yet...but still. That being said, I'm leaving the office and taking my sweet ass time to drive home. At least that will get me another 4:17minutes of time in the Funtruck.
Bob's Cookin Show at the Oasis if you're in the area, shoot me a call if you'll be around.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Pursuant
A VIVID thought.
Pursuant to the ever changing and always amendable life plans that I have for myself I'm going to go out on a limb and apply for acceptance into the Porn Boom Microphone Operators Guild. Granted it'll be a tough move to So. Cal. and the apprenticeship may be a bit difficult, standing there holding my pole..... yeah, I may have to amend it abit but gosh darn it it ain't a bad goal.
Cameras (check) Sound (check) Boom ready (check).....and...... ACTION. (cue the funky whah whah bass)
To paraphrase Bruce Campbell playing Ash, the role that made him an Icon.... "This... is my boom"pole"!
Say boom pole 10 times fast and try not to gut laugh... (triple time it) it's likened to a double kick pedal death polka band.
And there she was, Fatima....
12 years ago today I had the misfortune of finding a single can of beer in a little alcove, well it was a crawl space to be exact, called the Hall of Bongs on the third floor of the Fraternity Mansion. It wasn't a beer that I had had before, nor did I want to try it. I remember the can, not the contents "we left it hidden in a wall while doing some renovations for the next sap that comes along". 12 Years ago today on a sweltering summer afternoon covered in fiberglass insulation, surrounded by dead flies, and sweat dripping in my eyes I found....
Olde Frothingslosh....... I thought I was seeing things, it must have been the sweat, nope...there she was, the first moon goddess in my life; Fatima Yechburgh, in all her (grlp, just a little in my mouth) glory.
I don't know how long it had been there, but add 12 to the tally. (somewhere in the neighborhood of 55yrs as of today) I should have opened it and tried it....just for the sake of doing so. Perhaps some things are better left for the next guy with a crowbar, and a little initiative. God Bless ya if you take a swig.
Now... on to ebay to find me a case of this shite, to horrify my friends and family. "I bet it tastes like heaven, or the footbed liner in the running shoes I still have from highschool melting under the tool box in the back of my truck"
".......mmmmmmm, footbed liner in the running shoes I still have from highschool melting under the tool box in the back of my truck."
Olde Frothingslosh....... I thought I was seeing things, it must have been the sweat, nope...there she was, the first moon goddess in my life; Fatima Yechburgh, in all her (grlp, just a little in my mouth) glory.I don't know how long it had been there, but add 12 to the tally. (somewhere in the neighborhood of 55yrs as of today) I should have opened it and tried it....just for the sake of doing so. Perhaps some things are better left for the next guy with a crowbar, and a little initiative. God Bless ya if you take a swig.
Now... on to ebay to find me a case of this shite, to horrify my friends and family. "I bet it tastes like heaven, or the footbed liner in the running shoes I still have from highschool melting under the tool box in the back of my truck"
".......mmmmmmm, footbed liner in the running shoes I still have from highschool melting under the tool box in the back of my truck."
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Why consult the deck> you say?
I just want a Freak'in Chili-Cheese dog, Is that too much to ask?
Oblique Strategy: "Instead of changing the thing, change the world around it."
Ok, ...where do I get a Freak'in giant Chili-Cheese dog costume?
Oblique Strategy: "Instead of changing the thing, change the world around it."
Ok, ...where do I get a Freak'in giant Chili-Cheese dog costume?
Monday, June 16, 2008
Bored
Monday, the only day of the week that I get to practice the skills of a graphic designer here at the Gaz now that I'm Ultimo-utility player. The reason I took the job, the reason I resigned myself to a life without the sun. The resume building stock and proof that I can be just a little artistic even though it's in a contrived 1-6 column space.
And wouldn't you know it, apparently the sales representatives haven't been having much luck lately (print news is a dinosaur). There are no ads to be designed, no pick-up ads to alter to taste, no spec ads for Independence Day, nothing...not a damn one. So here I sit.
I'm dangerously close to the end of the internet and to tell you the truth, it's like getting kicked in the dick. For the rest of the week I have to be responsible, take charge of the output and upload of the entire kit and kaboodle. I have to make sure the product is flawless before printing, fix the mistakes if there are any (editorial and advertising), take PDF's of each page and use OLIVE to separate stories, jumps, headlines, bylines, images, captions, ads, charts, graphics, leads, subheads, supplimentals, link them to their respective partners in crime and label each to make sure that all you webfolks can get a specific story from the internets in its entirety with one click of the mouse. Triple check the 3 editions and spice to taste.
And with a bit more prodding I can make coffee.
And wouldn't you know it, apparently the sales representatives haven't been having much luck lately (print news is a dinosaur). There are no ads to be designed, no pick-up ads to alter to taste, no spec ads for Independence Day, nothing...not a damn one. So here I sit.
I'm dangerously close to the end of the internet and to tell you the truth, it's like getting kicked in the dick. For the rest of the week I have to be responsible, take charge of the output and upload of the entire kit and kaboodle. I have to make sure the product is flawless before printing, fix the mistakes if there are any (editorial and advertising), take PDF's of each page and use OLIVE to separate stories, jumps, headlines, bylines, images, captions, ads, charts, graphics, leads, subheads, supplimentals, link them to their respective partners in crime and label each to make sure that all you webfolks can get a specific story from the internets in its entirety with one click of the mouse. Triple check the 3 editions and spice to taste.
And with a bit more prodding I can make coffee.
Tom Waits
There are a few reasons why I enjoy the being that is Tom Waits. This man is an amazing performer and I enjoy his melodic voice, it's kinda like a can coffee can loaded with pebbles full of cigarette smoke. Here is a prime example. It's a press conference detailing his upcoming US tour.( http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrG1r3S6ZA ). It's not that hard you can cut and paste. Don't skip out early you have to watch all of it. It's not even 4 minutes long.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Dad Day
The D from the DK Lil Mac connection takes a rip on Windy Hills 6th Tee Box effectively vaporizing a tee and gutting a squirrel. It was a beautiful day for a little small ball.
All proper form aside this is my attempt to knock the dimples out of a golf ball on the 3rd Tee. I did just that playing to my weakness of monster slice to drop the ball on the fairway. (I'm seriously diggin my vampiric pasty white goodness). Tommorrow I blister, a then begin the healing process for 6 evenings at the place of biz.
We both shot some pars, and a bunch of bogeys..with the obligatory snowman & niners. And there was some dueling putters. My pitching wedge is broken and my chips were lacking. But it was definitely goodtimes.
I was traveling back to the office today and was sitting at a red light in Clifton Park next to a 2008 Vette, rumble, hum, rev, rev.....reevvvvvvvv. Vroooooooom, 1st, 2nd, 3rd gear. It took only a split second for this pipe to smoke the frankensteiner off the line. Although I do have to say in a tortoise / hare sorta way that no matter how poorly you're buckling your transmission and wasting rubber. A guy in a slow ass truck will be laughing at you when you go 0 - 35 in 1.0 seconds only to slam on your brakes and wait at the next light. The light that never will be green, ever if traviling in the particular direction we were headed. The third light that the monkey decided to hurry up and wait at was too much. I pulled up next to him...gunned it in neutral a few times and waited for the green. He squawked his tires and did the whole thing again until he slammed on his brakes missing his sidestreet turn. Nothing says my car is badass more than having to turn around in a church bake sale parking lot. The balloons made him look like James Dean. Or is it Jimmy Dean.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Miss Kate posted this and a few other shots from the weekend in Maine
It's officially one of my favorite photos.
what? I'm just sayin they had it comin' to them, the mullets. Zorbo, Zorbo.....
(If you put enough car bomb, jameson and gin in someone they get, well...the chance to ruthlessly beat me down apparently )
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
1 yr ago today
1 year ago today they laid off 12 employees from the dying breed of news publication that is the Gaz. Holding true to the now what seems to be yearly schedule. They laid off CB, my co-worker on nightside. The man is awesome, and has 3 sons...his eldest turned 5 today. It happened 15minutes ago. He walked to his desk and started pulling photos of his boys off the cubicle. I had been summoned by the super-super-super pre-press production Supervisor for an office chat. CB said "C-ya" in a customary way...the way it's said when one takes a dinner break or has a few minutes to head outside for a smoke. It didn't dawn on me.... I meandered out into the hall, turned and was awestruck/dumbfounded. what does one say at the happening of such an event "out of the blue". I couldn't think of consoling words, only offered my help if it was needed. WTF?! I'm still stupid with WTF was that alll about.
I'm not secure enough in my life to make rash decisions, and had I a little more testicular fortitude. I should have marched to the office meeting and quit on the spot, thus making it possible for him to stay on, and I to find another job. I couldn't pull the trigger. And right now I feel as though I've let myself down.
It seems a waste to remove a person that's been here 8yrs and is raising a family when I'm here still. I don't know why they made that decision. Probably never will. As for me, I know now that I'm not a chivalrous/stand up righteous person, I failed to give unselfishly that which I have to offer. I dropped the ball when it came to a moral decision that would have benefitted another. As a person....I suck at life.
Apparently the first order of business in this cost saving measure by the company was to hydroseed a new lawn surrounding the parking lot.... [<=jaw drops]
I'm not secure enough in my life to make rash decisions, and had I a little more testicular fortitude. I should have marched to the office meeting and quit on the spot, thus making it possible for him to stay on, and I to find another job. I couldn't pull the trigger. And right now I feel as though I've let myself down.
It seems a waste to remove a person that's been here 8yrs and is raising a family when I'm here still. I don't know why they made that decision. Probably never will. As for me, I know now that I'm not a chivalrous/stand up righteous person, I failed to give unselfishly that which I have to offer. I dropped the ball when it came to a moral decision that would have benefitted another. As a person....I suck at life.
Apparently the first order of business in this cost saving measure by the company was to hydroseed a new lawn surrounding the parking lot.... [<=jaw drops]
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
They're gone
The wee little morsels of baby robin escaped the eventual death that I was going to smote upon their little melons in preparation for a bit of fine dining. They flew the nest today and only one had an issue with a second try. It eventually busted its way out of the jailhouse that is my porch railing and made it to a tree just across the pond. I'm pretty psyched that it made it across the small expanse of water because I wasn't going to force myself to wade through the muck to ferry it to the other side. (It would have been darwinian)
The Frankensteiner is still w/o A/C and the ventilation fan repairs have to wait for another week and a half. Weird thing; it is, prepping to drive just down the road like you were prepping for a hike by hydrating and bringing along an extra set of clothes. I don't sweat like a gym going body builder but I definitely can dribble some salty liquids when sitting in an oven. It looks like the cost of repair for the A/C and the other minor fix-it's will take the funtruck off the roadtrip schedule for a month or so. It's just as well I guess, I've only spent 1 weekend at my place in the last 6 weeks. There's no reason to pay rent if you don't spend time in the place. I should go to a campsite with in a reasonable distance and set up a tent, drop my lease and then find a suitable replacement domicile in Toga-town after the racing season when the inflated prices drop back down to normal. (thoughts flowing around my dome that will never happen I know, but they're there).
Wilby, Tool, and Z, thanks for a crazy weekend. Miss Kate it was great to chill with you and the wee ones for the little time we had a chance.
The Frankensteiner is still w/o A/C and the ventilation fan repairs have to wait for another week and a half. Weird thing; it is, prepping to drive just down the road like you were prepping for a hike by hydrating and bringing along an extra set of clothes. I don't sweat like a gym going body builder but I definitely can dribble some salty liquids when sitting in an oven. It looks like the cost of repair for the A/C and the other minor fix-it's will take the funtruck off the roadtrip schedule for a month or so. It's just as well I guess, I've only spent 1 weekend at my place in the last 6 weeks. There's no reason to pay rent if you don't spend time in the place. I should go to a campsite with in a reasonable distance and set up a tent, drop my lease and then find a suitable replacement domicile in Toga-town after the racing season when the inflated prices drop back down to normal. (thoughts flowing around my dome that will never happen I know, but they're there).
Wilby, Tool, and Z, thanks for a crazy weekend. Miss Kate it was great to chill with you and the wee ones for the little time we had a chance.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sunday River Pic
I was able to find a pic of the course at Sunday River, it's a view looking back at the 9th Tee boxes over a very intrusive expanse of thunderchunk (a huge gully 45yds, full of debris, boulders, rattle snakes, moose teeth, and the skeletal remains of a small child).
My tee shot landed far to the left of this vantage off a couple trees and in rough that had to be at least 3inches lush and thick, like a shag rug. Lucky for me the Buzzsaw (PW w/ a couple of balancing lead strips) and Mr. Shanky (10.5 TaylorMade boomstick) play well in tandem and I was able to bushwhack a decent approach shot. [that; of course, mysteriously went missing when I know for damn sure it at least clipped the front of the green]
I think Mr. Willem may have a few pics and when he has the opportunity I'll slap them in a post as well.
Yeah....that was a real decision
It's a great day in the life of any individual when they make the executive decision to place their Garage's phone number as one of the speed-dial options in their mobile phone. I've just made the call, W's autobody is now speed dial #3 for me. It's fitting, because that is exactly the number of payments left before I own the truck outright. The decision now facing me is whether to suck it up and get a new vehicle or bury Frank in the ground after another couple years of abuse. If he can take the abuse... I'm anticipating that this month Frank will end up dessimating the greater part of three paychecks. 3 paychecks left, three payments left, #3 on speed dial. Done, done & done.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Sunday River
I'm going to give the golf trip to Sunday River an 8 on a scale of 1-10: 10 being the highest. The schedule broke down quite differently than I had anticipated in the previous post. Breakfast, 18 holes on the most awe inspiring course I've played on. Just being on the mountain was good enough, being up there golfing was a bonus. The course was challenging, and I guess it was a bit dry..no rain or something like that. So there were patches of funk, and a couple of greens were under repair, over all it was great. I started out the day playing bogey golf, that didn't last too long and my game fell apart like it was supposed to. Every outing tends to have those 2-3 shots that make you feel like a pro, that keep you returning to the course to give it another whack, my day was loaded with them Saturday. (After a long day out in the sun nothing is better than a piss warm pool and a boiling hottub.)
If you happen to make it to Sunday River, Stoo's Brews are darn tastey. I would stay away from the 420 I.P.A. though, it kinda tasted like feet smell. No joke. (his Porter is good). Stoo is the brewmaster for the pub we migrated to for evening refreshments. Resort towns are nice if you catch them inseason, or off season if you want to be alone. I think the 4 of us were the only people in one wing of the Hotel. 5floors, at least 500 rooms, 4 dudes.
I wanted to pick a few details from the trip to highlight the adventure, but couldn't narrow the field. It was just a flat out awesome trip.
And now,.,..........ANNNNND NOW, I'm back in the office, thinking that I should move to Maine, or get a better job that allows for weekends like this one more frequently.
My phone died Friday evening so no pics from this guy.
If you happen to make it to Sunday River, Stoo's Brews are darn tastey. I would stay away from the 420 I.P.A. though, it kinda tasted like feet smell. No joke. (his Porter is good). Stoo is the brewmaster for the pub we migrated to for evening refreshments. Resort towns are nice if you catch them inseason, or off season if you want to be alone. I think the 4 of us were the only people in one wing of the Hotel. 5floors, at least 500 rooms, 4 dudes.
I wanted to pick a few details from the trip to highlight the adventure, but couldn't narrow the field. It was just a flat out awesome trip.
And now,.,..........ANNNNND NOW, I'm back in the office, thinking that I should move to Maine, or get a better job that allows for weekends like this one more frequently.
My phone died Friday evening so no pics from this guy.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Turducket w/..... aaaAH, F-it!
If only I could cook up an Ostrich, stuffed with an emu, stuffed with a swan, stuffed with a goose, stuffed with a turkey, stuffed with bald eagle, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a squab, stuffed with a cornish game hen, stuffed with a robin, stuffed with a little peeping nightmare of a baby robin, stuffed with a humming bird wrapped in bacon with a garlic clove stuck in it's ass..... mmmmmmmm Add, high fire walk in kiln and baste with a wicker broom and bucket of rosemary butter. Garnish with a single medium sized baked potato and parsley. I'm pretty positive that.... yup => "That would be awesome."
And that concludes Today's "suprise" Randomness.
Have you ever been trimming your beard/goatee/sideburns when the plastic attachment on the clipper breaks? I hadn't had the pleasure until today. Now I have to re-grow the sideburns. I missed buzzing a clear path to the top of my melon by one firing synapse. Had to re-evaluate the length of the goatee, and finished with salon scissors and a minature beard comb. Zohan beeatches.
And that concludes Today's "suprise" Randomness.
Have you ever been trimming your beard/goatee/sideburns when the plastic attachment on the clipper breaks? I hadn't had the pleasure until today. Now I have to re-grow the sideburns. I missed buzzing a clear path to the top of my melon by one firing synapse. Had to re-evaluate the length of the goatee, and finished with salon scissors and a minature beard comb. Zohan beeatches.
Fall in Pieces
Miss E., soon to be Miss J. here are a few of the fallish pieces that I can snag on your behalf. Shhhhh Be Vewwwy vewwy qwwiet.
It's a small sampling of the minor components that could make for a dynamic card at a reception table. Stagger Lurch Trip Stumble and Fall, right back into your own seat=> "it says it right there on the card" : )
Monday, June 2, 2008
Thanks Frank
It was inevitable, I know my ride and when it's heavy..there's something amiss. Periodically whilst driving at the suggested speed limit on highways I've had the pleasure of hearing a noise distinctly like the sound of someone throwing a handful of shrapnal into my wheelwell. I can feel it under my non-dominant driving foot. It's annoying, it disconcerting (3 payments left) so.. in order to drive and make the noise go away I crank the fan, juice the tunes and float away in the white noise of truck cab goodness. Last night, I lost one of my saving graces. The fan went kaput, hors de combat • \or-duh-kohng-BAH (the "ng" is not pronounced, but the preceding vowel is nasalized)\ • adjective or adverb: out of combat : disabled; if you will, I'm not canceling my weekend - I'm having a dinner with Miss Kate, Willem, Jacob, Emily, Z, and Toolio this Friday, prior to heading off for a Mancation of golf and ridiculosity. I doubt I can have it looked at prior to my departure. And will undoubtedly have to wait an additional week to meet with a ScrewHead with elephantitus of the gorilla sized mitts to plant his fist firmly in my posterior.
Stress is at a comparative all time high at the moment in my wayward existance. Fretting over a possible birth as museum professional again, busted truck, higher rent, additional med probs, and some friggin birds have decided to take over my balcony making it impossible to get my rare-meat eating, pasty, fuzzy white *ss out in the sunlight, for fear of scaring momma and poppa bird away and having the three little aliens decomp on on my watch.
I've decided to let them be, and they're now subletting my balcony until the wee ones can take flight. (I was gone 5days..and in that time they built a nest, popped out three blue eggy-weggs, hatched, and are already getting exponentially bigger) chirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirp... welcome the sunrise oh ye vampire of the night, try to sleep big guy, I dare ya.
Stress is at a comparative all time high at the moment in my wayward existance. Fretting over a possible birth as museum professional again, busted truck, higher rent, additional med probs, and some friggin birds have decided to take over my balcony making it impossible to get my rare-meat eating, pasty, fuzzy white *ss out in the sunlight, for fear of scaring momma and poppa bird away and having the three little aliens decomp on on my watch.
I've decided to let them be, and they're now subletting my balcony until the wee ones can take flight. (I was gone 5days..and in that time they built a nest, popped out three blue eggy-weggs, hatched, and are already getting exponentially bigger) chirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirpchirp... welcome the sunrise oh ye vampire of the night, try to sleep big guy, I dare ya.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Oh! The places you won't go!
Fresh off a vacation that was unnervingly long. I sit in my cubicle thanking the powers that be for something to do in the evenings. Although I went a ton of places and met up with people to enjoy company with, I didn't make it to a few stops that I had originally planned and that just sucks. It all started in Boston, ended up in Saratoga, I missed the CT, Great White North connection, made it home to see that the moms is doing just fine w/o a gall bladder. I went out in the 'Dirt one evening to get it out of my system for another year. Postponed buying a new suit... and generally didn't make the best of my time away from the office.
The main reason for missing a few of the stops planned had to do more with logistics. The Frankensteiner is running a bit heavy. It's not on it's way to breaking down, me hopes. But it's just not feeling right. My trip to Bean town unloaded a 1/4 of a paycheck, not counting the extracurricular activities that I was able to indulge in. (that was just the gas). I had to play it safe for the last 2/3rds of my time off. If I was planning on seeing you at somepoint this past week and I didn't make it there, rest assured you've already been put on the top of the list for future visits.
The strangest part of the vacation was that I was able to sit down at various venues and catch a bit of cable television. "That sh*t is crack." Without the tube on a regular basis I'm generally not thinking about shows to watch, what may be on in a couple of days, I don't plan to be infront of the thing at certain times.... 4nights on vaca I was drawn into the stimuli, I enjoyed commercials, watched a bunch of different programs, caught a fight or two. If you've ever seen the movie The Dark Crystal... I felt like a podling getting suck dry of my essence. I'm glad I don't have the thing hooked up at the Oasis. I'd never leave and the specific gravity of my counch would increase exponentially.
I've been at work now for all of 10minutes and have already been asked to work a day this week that isn't normally scheduled. They want me to fill in on Friday evening. [I've already made plans and changing said plans doesn't suit me.] Should it be necessary to change those plans to hold onto my position here at the shop... I'll be leaving the Gaz at 2am Saturday morning, driving 8hrs to ME and playing golf at 10:40am after the trip. Sunday River Golf Club in Newry ME, I can't wait. (Specially if I drive the red-eye, I bet I can get there after only a few misturns in just enough time to tee-off). I don't expect that to happen, [crosses fingers]. When you work for a company with the perpensity to lay people off, especially when that company's product and overall operation are part of a dying breed. (print media is living with a cancerous tumor called the IntAr-webb) There are too many factors involved with making a decision when confronted with the prospect of working on a non-regularly scheduled day. More specifically, when confronted with the obove after 10 days of vacation out of the office.
And on that note, I'm still waiting to get some good news on the museum front, and am diligently planning a personal presentation that is nothing short of stellar. I think; when and if the time comes, I'm officially going to make the call to stop making smiley faces on my hamburgers with ketchup and mustard. "Get a hair cut and get a real job" thanks a heap Thorogood & the Destroyers. The song is caught in my head.
The main reason for missing a few of the stops planned had to do more with logistics. The Frankensteiner is running a bit heavy. It's not on it's way to breaking down, me hopes. But it's just not feeling right. My trip to Bean town unloaded a 1/4 of a paycheck, not counting the extracurricular activities that I was able to indulge in. (that was just the gas). I had to play it safe for the last 2/3rds of my time off. If I was planning on seeing you at somepoint this past week and I didn't make it there, rest assured you've already been put on the top of the list for future visits.
The strangest part of the vacation was that I was able to sit down at various venues and catch a bit of cable television. "That sh*t is crack." Without the tube on a regular basis I'm generally not thinking about shows to watch, what may be on in a couple of days, I don't plan to be infront of the thing at certain times.... 4nights on vaca I was drawn into the stimuli, I enjoyed commercials, watched a bunch of different programs, caught a fight or two. If you've ever seen the movie The Dark Crystal... I felt like a podling getting suck dry of my essence. I'm glad I don't have the thing hooked up at the Oasis. I'd never leave and the specific gravity of my counch would increase exponentially.
I've been at work now for all of 10minutes and have already been asked to work a day this week that isn't normally scheduled. They want me to fill in on Friday evening. [I've already made plans and changing said plans doesn't suit me.] Should it be necessary to change those plans to hold onto my position here at the shop... I'll be leaving the Gaz at 2am Saturday morning, driving 8hrs to ME and playing golf at 10:40am after the trip. Sunday River Golf Club in Newry ME, I can't wait. (Specially if I drive the red-eye, I bet I can get there after only a few misturns in just enough time to tee-off). I don't expect that to happen, [crosses fingers]. When you work for a company with the perpensity to lay people off, especially when that company's product and overall operation are part of a dying breed. (print media is living with a cancerous tumor called the IntAr-webb) There are too many factors involved with making a decision when confronted with the prospect of working on a non-regularly scheduled day. More specifically, when confronted with the obove after 10 days of vacation out of the office.
And on that note, I'm still waiting to get some good news on the museum front, and am diligently planning a personal presentation that is nothing short of stellar. I think; when and if the time comes, I'm officially going to make the call to stop making smiley faces on my hamburgers with ketchup and mustard. "Get a hair cut and get a real job" thanks a heap Thorogood & the Destroyers. The song is caught in my head.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Capt'n Insano
Great Memorial Day weekend, you should have stopped by...I won't bore you with the details I can't remember. 7hrs of work and I'm Out until Sunday. Nothing to see here, move along.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
What do you get
What do you get when you put 6 Fraternity guys in a yard with beer and a game of Baggo? (it's not Bag'Oh....) you end up with 6 different explanations as to how you may have to drink given any random outcome of a specific event. "you dropped your smoke"=>drink.... "you were in the sun" Drink. Wooooo!
Ricks, Syverdirt, Fishaah, Boston crews, shoot me a ring, The ribs have been cooking for the last 8hrs. Time to get the feed bag on!
Ricks, Syverdirt, Fishaah, Boston crews, shoot me a ring, The ribs have been cooking for the last 8hrs. Time to get the feed bag on!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
T-minus
T-minus just over 2hrs until I launch the second ever, week long vacation of my life. (barring of course the summers when I was in elementary school.) And as for the first thing I'm going to do on vacation..... wait for it, wait for it........... chip a filling. Yup thats the first thing I'm planning to do on my vacation. Technically my time off will rock, cuz I lost the filling about 35min ago and it's not really during my vacation just yet. When last at the dentist they mentioned a couple of options for when this was destined to happen. I say destined because the guy drillin in my face hole didn't seem confident ( I gave him the benefit of the doubt). He said should the filling come out we can cap your tooth for 600 bones or pull it for significantly less. If it's coming out anyway I'll deal with it for the weekend.
Plans change I'm cool with that, it's the showing up an hour late I can't stands.
So an addendum to my vacation plans involves a trip to the dentist. It'll make it that much more fun to go shopping for a suit. "which way do you dress asks the lady with the tape measure ready to capture the inseam" my reply "OHMMMmm hhhaaggplpktrg tuuuu duh MRLRPHhhh......." Good luck with that one; touch my balls. (that was rude, I'd never actually do it) But the thought is funny enough. Unless it's a dude not wearing a doctors uniform with sterile gloves minus the PhD and he tells me my balls are smooth as eggs with a wink and a coy smile. And on that note...I'll probably be away until a week from Sunday. Carry on, nothing to see here.......................
I'm getting sauced in Boston. Blend me up a porterhouse rare, and drizzle a couple of shots of tequila over it.
I'm 5X5 in the pipe, Funtruck is a GO.
Plans change I'm cool with that, it's the showing up an hour late I can't stands.
So an addendum to my vacation plans involves a trip to the dentist. It'll make it that much more fun to go shopping for a suit. "which way do you dress asks the lady with the tape measure ready to capture the inseam" my reply "OHMMMmm hhhaaggplpktrg tuuuu duh MRLRPHhhh......." Good luck with that one; touch my balls. (that was rude, I'd never actually do it) But the thought is funny enough. Unless it's a dude not wearing a doctors uniform with sterile gloves minus the PhD and he tells me my balls are smooth as eggs with a wink and a coy smile. And on that note...I'll probably be away until a week from Sunday. Carry on, nothing to see here.......................
I'm getting sauced in Boston. Blend me up a porterhouse rare, and drizzle a couple of shots of tequila over it.
I'm 5X5 in the pipe, Funtruck is a GO.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
IT's ON!!!
The quest for a new position in the Art Administrative field has been given the green light. The folks at Toga/Tang have listed the opening. NO parachute this time.... I'm going to free fall into a new office. It's time to get a hair-cut and get a real job. (1st monster hair-cut in 10yrs) Of course I'll be waiting until I have a sit-down interview scheduled to pimp that mop. Shark Skin suit optional....yet rico suavishly preferred. I'll keep you all posted as the process progresses.
I'm thinking half full. If for nothing else, because I miss wearing a tie to work. After three solid years of wearing a tie 5days a week... I long to choke myself out again twice every morning. Since it's been almost three years since that was the case. Either all you mutts that I'm friends with have to get married, or I'm going to have to get a new job. I don't trust you all to help me out on this one so I'm gonna try to take care of it solo.
It's comperable pay, so the commute and gas prices aren't an issue yet.
I'm thinking half full. If for nothing else, because I miss wearing a tie to work. After three solid years of wearing a tie 5days a week... I long to choke myself out again twice every morning. Since it's been almost three years since that was the case. Either all you mutts that I'm friends with have to get married, or I'm going to have to get a new job. I don't trust you all to help me out on this one so I'm gonna try to take care of it solo.
It's comperable pay, so the commute and gas prices aren't an issue yet.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Great weekend
Made it up to see DK LilMac, and spent 6hrs chatting the away, when I wasn't under sneak tickle attack. Good foods and beverages you know the goodtimes. Sat. headed to Gonzo's for a bit of mayhem... 6am rolls up fast. I'm looking forward to the summer. It promises to be exponentially better than the last few months to say the least.
I wonder about a few things and I thought I'd air them out. First I'd like to examine the term """Carbon Footprint""" (Three quotes beacuse it's that ridiculous!!!<=three exclamations for uber ridiculosity). Looking at this chart it seems to me that some folks have their heads firmly stuck in their asses. (I referencing you AL) Apparently due to the excess emmisions created by their motor vehicles, private jets, production plants, fossil fuel burning gas giants, the excess of domesticated farm animal methane, and all the other factors involved the small percentage of world's feudal populace inhabiting the earth in 950AD "WERE DOING IT ALL WRONG".
Global warming is a buzz phrase. It isn't a real threat. The heating and cooling of the planet is a cyclic thing that will continue to cycle after the last human takes his dying breathe. And while I'm at it I may as well let you in on the little secret about the "hole in the ozone layer" Imagine if you will, that the Earth is an orange, not a Naval orange, a Mandarin orange. The hole in the ozone would amount to a pin prick in the meaty zesty outer skin of said orange. Lets put it into perspective though, the pin prick would remain the same size where as the meaty zesty goodness of the orange would be bumped up a bit... 26ft of zest (conservatively). SO, the pin prick of holey Ozone would actually be located on a 52' diameter orange. Fruit Cocktail anyone?
Polar bears are now an endangered species according to the specialists.?due to global warming? I think its matter of evolution. Polar Bears don't have thumbs yet. And also a little known fact, more polar bears are killed each year by researchers studying them than by anything that the environment can throw at them. Let's jump now into the mind of a Polar Bear.
"Holy shit those wallruseseses are F'in huge" " I'd hate to get mauled by a fat ass slug of a seacreature", "I smell fish cooking, Mmmmm cooked fish; whatever the hell that may be" "Oh a cabin, ?what's a cabin?, that smell is coming from inside the cabin" "Lets have a look see shall we" "Wow, cooking fish and a land mammal that is completely awkward that I could easily snack on, I weigh 2tons and I'm 13ft tall for Christ's Sake" "this vertical ice looks like a great way to get into the cabin and have me a snack" (flash bang grenades go off, dynamite is thrown to scare Mr. Bear, inside the cabin Mr. reasearcher is shitting a twinky because he's out of HIS element and in the realm of Apex carnivore) Large bangs, and bright flashes don't scare animals with paws the size of serving trays. You may say that the warming of the planet has caused environmental factors that decrease the populations of Polar bear food forcing them to hunt and search for food stuffs that they don't normally hunt. Bullshit, they're opportunists. You may say that Seal populations dwindling force Polar bears to hunt larger game, (see above mention of fat ass slug of a sea creature i.e. Walruseseseses) Like Polar bears have never hunted walrii before. The walrii have a behavioral response that circles the wagons like buffalo "wee ones" to the center, fat asses and tusks to the outer rim to protect their youngins. I doubt very seriously that they developed that response to protect their young from an Arctic Fox. A 15lb Fox has never been witnessed gunning for a herd of walrus with the express purpose of taking down a 3ton animal with its Arctic Fox Ninja skills. Polar Bear opportunist that he is, is saddened when twinkie shitting researcher brings out the boom stick and unleashes hot lead. The bear goes down thinking "I bet this guy isn't even going to use my fur as a coat, and god damn it I should have been the one to evolve into the opposable thumbs catagory of higher genus".
The researcher then radios in to his superiors with the excuse "It's coming right for us". Thanks Ned"
Agree with me or not, I'm not saying don't do what you can to have as little adverse effect on the environment as possible. It's a good thing to be """Green!!!""" Just don't let the media and the monkeys in charge of the world belittle your intelligence by letting them influence you with made up bullshit statistics and fear mongering.
W.......w.......whoa @#%%&^$, (<=falls off soapbox)
I wonder about a few things and I thought I'd air them out. First I'd like to examine the term """Carbon Footprint""" (Three quotes beacuse it's that ridiculous!!!<=three exclamations for uber ridiculosity). Looking at this chart it seems to me that some folks have their heads firmly stuck in their asses. (I referencing you AL) Apparently due to the excess emmisions created by their motor vehicles, private jets, production plants, fossil fuel burning gas giants, the excess of domesticated farm animal methane, and all the other factors involved the small percentage of world's feudal populace inhabiting the earth in 950AD "WERE DOING IT ALL WRONG".
Global warming is a buzz phrase. It isn't a real threat. The heating and cooling of the planet is a cyclic thing that will continue to cycle after the last human takes his dying breathe. And while I'm at it I may as well let you in on the little secret about the "hole in the ozone layer" Imagine if you will, that the Earth is an orange, not a Naval orange, a Mandarin orange. The hole in the ozone would amount to a pin prick in the meaty zesty outer skin of said orange. Lets put it into perspective though, the pin prick would remain the same size where as the meaty zesty goodness of the orange would be bumped up a bit... 26ft of zest (conservatively). SO, the pin prick of holey Ozone would actually be located on a 52' diameter orange. Fruit Cocktail anyone?
Polar bears are now an endangered species according to the specialists.?due to global warming? I think its matter of evolution. Polar Bears don't have thumbs yet. And also a little known fact, more polar bears are killed each year by researchers studying them than by anything that the environment can throw at them. Let's jump now into the mind of a Polar Bear.
"Holy shit those wallruseseses are F'in huge" " I'd hate to get mauled by a fat ass slug of a seacreature", "I smell fish cooking, Mmmmm cooked fish; whatever the hell that may be" "Oh a cabin, ?what's a cabin?, that smell is coming from inside the cabin" "Lets have a look see shall we" "Wow, cooking fish and a land mammal that is completely awkward that I could easily snack on, I weigh 2tons and I'm 13ft tall for Christ's Sake" "this vertical ice looks like a great way to get into the cabin and have me a snack" (flash bang grenades go off, dynamite is thrown to scare Mr. Bear, inside the cabin Mr. reasearcher is shitting a twinky because he's out of HIS element and in the realm of Apex carnivore) Large bangs, and bright flashes don't scare animals with paws the size of serving trays. You may say that the warming of the planet has caused environmental factors that decrease the populations of Polar bear food forcing them to hunt and search for food stuffs that they don't normally hunt. Bullshit, they're opportunists. You may say that Seal populations dwindling force Polar bears to hunt larger game, (see above mention of fat ass slug of a sea creature i.e. Walruseseseses) Like Polar bears have never hunted walrii before. The walrii have a behavioral response that circles the wagons like buffalo "wee ones" to the center, fat asses and tusks to the outer rim to protect their youngins. I doubt very seriously that they developed that response to protect their young from an Arctic Fox. A 15lb Fox has never been witnessed gunning for a herd of walrus with the express purpose of taking down a 3ton animal with its Arctic Fox Ninja skills. Polar Bear opportunist that he is, is saddened when twinkie shitting researcher brings out the boom stick and unleashes hot lead. The bear goes down thinking "I bet this guy isn't even going to use my fur as a coat, and god damn it I should have been the one to evolve into the opposable thumbs catagory of higher genus".
The researcher then radios in to his superiors with the excuse "It's coming right for us". Thanks Ned"
Agree with me or not, I'm not saying don't do what you can to have as little adverse effect on the environment as possible. It's a good thing to be """Green!!!""" Just don't let the media and the monkeys in charge of the world belittle your intelligence by letting them influence you with made up bullshit statistics and fear mongering.
W.......w.......whoa @#%%&^$, (<=falls off soapbox)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The start
Since I've been loafing around and not traveling much, the truck seems to be in good running order. So, before it gets all righteous and stuff, I'm going to take it back on the BoozeCruz. The next few weeks will undoubtedly add a fair bit of mileage.
May 16: Toga for a visit with DK LilMac
May 17: Back to the 'Dirt for some ghetto mud-boggin (never been? it's simple, replace mud with sidewalk and boggin with crackheads)
May 23: the red-eye to Boston ETA 6am for Memorial Day Weekend B-B-Q @ Z's place.
May25: the 'Dirt, for work on Memorial Day
May 27: the Second ever Annual week long vacation begins,(what that means? basically I have no plans and if you live within a days drive you may get a visit. Anywhere between Montreal and Atlanta, and from the East Coast to Souix Falls SD. [I was contemplating taking a drive to Bozeman MT, but that would leave all my stuff here for the repo-man when I don't return].
May 31: I may catch BiPolar's last concert ever at Northern Lights.
June 1: Play the lottery to possibly win enough cash to repeat the previous week 4-evar.
June 7: Golf outing in Newry ME with the old fraternity mutts, Pregame barstool olympics.
June 8: Tee-Time 10:40am, followed by pool bar/ hottub bar/ dinner bar/ bar bar/ tavern bar.
June 9: 8hr Trek back to the Gaz for a 6pm shift.
June 14: MJ's B-day, and Dad Day Extravaganza.
I'm thinking I'd like to check out the renovated McDuff' for a night so I'll have to get a working plan for the Great White North.
Somewhere in there the Frankensteiner will break down, I'll curse all that is holy and then spend the entirity of my savings to get a new vehicle ( A gas guzzling muscle car, a testosterone emitting thunder truck, or a Volkswagon minibus, nah...just kidding, a Vespa with racing flames; only 94miles to the gallon.)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Surgery
My moms had surgery yesturday, I was able to get there for moral support after work and a few hours of nap. The world does infact continue on without me and the morning has a plethera of people doingstuff at that hour, who would've thunk it) I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or the fact that I was in a hospital but I came very close to having a surreal moment. I was walking to the recovery room to see the old lady post-op, pre-release and the monitors beeping away with the IV drips, a stack of perfectly stacked crackers, one slightly off to the side with a bite removed, a miniture pepsi can with a straw dangling, and empty pill cup, voices murmuring all around. My moms looked at me in her drugged up half smile and said "that's pretty Dope" (with emphasis on the Dope portion) Jar of gall bladder, sure, drugged mom saying that's pretty dope, yup.... only a missing zoo animal sauntering through the recovery room would have melted the clocks for me. I was seeing things in slo-mo. Welcome to bizarro land.
Shes's doing awesome, recovering like a trooper and rifling down the vicodin only when the time is right (i.e only when prescribed). I would have liked to take the rest of the week off to hang out and wait on her, but it's not in the cards.
I'm a little worried about the powerful drugs, my grams was addicted to V for a number of years and prior to her passing she was a regular fiend. We'll have to see how things pan out. I know that the clan myself included seem to have addictive personalities for one thing of another.
Shes's doing awesome, recovering like a trooper and rifling down the vicodin only when the time is right (i.e only when prescribed). I would have liked to take the rest of the week off to hang out and wait on her, but it's not in the cards.
I'm a little worried about the powerful drugs, my grams was addicted to V for a number of years and prior to her passing she was a regular fiend. We'll have to see how things pan out. I know that the clan myself included seem to have addictive personalities for one thing of another.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Ratings
Where the hell did that come from. I rate htis entry with nothing more than 4 stars due to the frivolous content and the moron that posted. (it would have been 5stars, but there is a typo)
Todays Randomness
Todays Randomness is brought to you by, some jackass that scattered roofing nails across the entrance to the parking lot here at the Gaz (apparently it's the 3rd time. I didn't get the memo about the previous nailings). The word nefarious: ne·far·i·ous Pronunciation: \ni-ˈfer-ē-əs\Function: adjective : flagrantly wicked or impious : evil, and the number "a bucket full".
As much as I dislike some people in the world, in that evil "nefarious" way that I am. The devious twisted dichotomistic step-twin of left or right brain function gone off the deep end with thoughts of retribution and how good a swan must taste all in the same second. I didn't lose any tires, I didn't see the nails, someone else was nice enough to scoop them up using only their own 4 tires. Now I can't say that the nail scattering wasn't warranted because the douche is anonymous. I can say that I'm pretty damn psyched that I didn't have to replace the tires on the Frankensteiner, last go'round it was a shitton of money. [then again I checked my tires thoroughly for foreign bodies and only came away from it knowing that they are in desperate need of replacing]. So I guess I say thankyou Asshat for throwing nails were I might drive giving me the opportunity to look at the wheels and make the decision to drive on bald F-in tires for a bit, thank you, ya "pipe" for being you., hopefully next time you decide to be a ninja and scatter some nails, a City bus on it's homeward-bound run for the evening will have a drowsy driver that doesn't register or care that you're there, and makes an example of you for all the little critters to look up to. you know, when they grow up to be roadkill.
Why? Nails? seriously.... we did alter the color comic line-up not too long ago. That doesn't warrant sharp pointy objects, a letter to the editor maybe, but not nails.
As much as I dislike some people in the world, in that evil "nefarious" way that I am. The devious twisted dichotomistic step-twin of left or right brain function gone off the deep end with thoughts of retribution and how good a swan must taste all in the same second. I didn't lose any tires, I didn't see the nails, someone else was nice enough to scoop them up using only their own 4 tires. Now I can't say that the nail scattering wasn't warranted because the douche is anonymous. I can say that I'm pretty damn psyched that I didn't have to replace the tires on the Frankensteiner, last go'round it was a shitton of money. [then again I checked my tires thoroughly for foreign bodies and only came away from it knowing that they are in desperate need of replacing]. So I guess I say thankyou Asshat for throwing nails were I might drive giving me the opportunity to look at the wheels and make the decision to drive on bald F-in tires for a bit, thank you, ya "pipe" for being you., hopefully next time you decide to be a ninja and scatter some nails, a City bus on it's homeward-bound run for the evening will have a drowsy driver that doesn't register or care that you're there, and makes an example of you for all the little critters to look up to. you know, when they grow up to be roadkill.
Why? Nails? seriously.... we did alter the color comic line-up not too long ago. That doesn't warrant sharp pointy objects, a letter to the editor maybe, but not nails.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
LV 426
Name a quote from this movie?
"Ferro: [as dropship enters atmosphere] We're in the pipe, five by five."
[Can't you just feel the amount of work I have piling up infront of me here at the office?]
Cancelled
I cancelled the trip. Decided to take the Titanic Route; women and children first. I didn't meet up with the HS buddies due to the nasty chest cold. I did however make the correct decision to not infect their wives and children. Until this morning it felt like someone hit me in the sternum with a sledge hammer. Being sick sucks.
Is it common, to get aches and pains, so much so that; as with me, your hair even hurts?
Short week his week, working 4-10's, and a 3day weekend.
Is it common, to get aches and pains, so much so that; as with me, your hair even hurts?
Short week his week, working 4-10's, and a 3day weekend.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Regulators......
The Annual/ Semi Annual/ whenever it's possible, HS Bleecher Creatures,... now Moms & Dads, hopelessly single mutts, Engineers, Gym Teachers, and the career clueless are ampted up for a rendezvous. This years choice the Sunny outskirts of the armpit of New York State, Syracuse NY. The clubs are clean, I'm coming down with a nasty cold (NO GIN MAKES ME SOMETHING SOMETHING...<=read, susceptible to illness.) Beers, Bar-B-ques, a round or two of chasing the small ball. Should be good times. My weekend mission is to stay as far away as I can from anyone under the age of 7 that could quite possible get the sniffles. "Hold my baby..." >"Not today bruther, not today"
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